✧ * º •「LOVE YOURSELF」

How can you love others when you can't love yourself?

[fmdjunsu]

So I guess some of you weren’t expecting this, but I have been thinking about this for a really long time actually. 

There were times when I’ve been thinking of dropping Junsu because I just felt less motivated around here and my muse for him has been dying out. I’ve been losing my connection with Junsu and it scares me that it’s basically gone now. This has been going on since 2019 and honestly I’m surprised I managed to stay in the rp this long. Also, with how busy I’m getting I feel bad for keeping Junsu here when there can be someone else who can take over and be more active than I am now. There has been times when I have the muse for him and times I don’t. But, lately I just don’t have the muse for him anymore. 

I’ve been here for a long time. I’ve been here since August 2017 so that makes it two years. I’ve had my ups and downs with Junsu and honestly I didn’t think I would have been around for this long. There were times when I told myself I’d definitely drop Junsu, but stayed because of how much I enjoy rping with you all and talking with you all and just hope the feeling of wanting to drop Junsu will disappear. I always feel bad with those I may have recently plotted out with and having threads with having to drop them because of me leaving the rp. I don’t want it to seem like a waste of time for them because I decided to leave. And that relationships that Junsu has built with other people will now be gone. I always feel guilty of that especially if my muse shares a close bond with someone. I’ve always been thinking of the pros and cons of leaving and it always made it difficult for me to decide what’s best for me. I’ve talked with a few people and made a decision after speaking with them. I think it’s time for me to let go and let someone else take over the role of Origin’s leader and main rapper. This is hard for me because I really don’t want all the bonds my muse has formed with everyone here to just disappear, but it’s time to say goodbye.

Even though this is goodbye, you all can still come and talk with me through discord. I’ll always be there if you want to chat or just to see how I’m doing. Message me if you would like my username and I wish you all the best of luck and all the happiness. 

Thank you guys for the amazing time I had here in famed and I wish you all the best!

- Angie

[fmdjunsu]

{ headcanon. }

Summary: This is basically talking about Junsu’s sewing skills and where he learned how to sew.

Junsu basically learned how to sew when he was younger. He was around the age of twelve when he was taught and it was unexpected for him. He did not think that anyone would teach him a skill such as sewing. But, the grandma that has been looking after him ever since he was ten decided to teach him. She told him that it may become a valuable life lesson for him and may come in handy one day. Also that he shouldn’t always rely on a sewing machine to sew everything for him. 

It was during the summertime and Junsu was hanging around at the grandmother’s home. He ran away from home after a beating he gotten from his parents. The grandmother wanted to keep Junsu’s mind off from what had happened so she decided to use sewing as a distraction. Junsu was confused at first with why she wanted to teach him, but he didn’t really have anything better to do so he agrees and lets her teach him. 

So it ended up Junsu following the grandmother with her teachings of how to sew. He was a complete mess in the beginning and struggling how to sew. But, it was all expected since he never had sewn in his entire life before. The grandmother wasn’t harsh with him too and helping him whenever she saw him struggle. She didn’t let Junsu think he was terrible with sewing and that all he needed was practice. There were times he accidentally hurts himself when sewing or messes up, but he was determined in learning how to sew since he saw it interesting. 

She had started out by teaching him various sewing techniques and then moving onto material things such as scarves, shirts, pillows, and towels. He even learned how to sew a blanket together. He learned a lot from her and he was slowly able to see why these skills could become useful. He knew how to sew clothes back together if he saw there was a tear or hole in them. If there was something that needed to be sew and Junsu had the skill to sew it then he would. 

Being in Origin, he does not sew as much anymore as he did before when the grandmother taught him. Their busy schedule prevents him from doing so and also he doesn’t really have that many things to sew. But, from time to time he does sew if something needs to be sewn back together. He even offers to sew his group member’s clothes if needed. All they have to do is ask and he will try his best to get whatever it is sewn as soon as possible. He tries not to take too long or take too much time since he doesn’t want his group members to get impatient with him. 

With his experience in sewing, Junsu prefers not to use a sewing machine and instead sew by hand. Using a sewing machine just gives him a weird feeling so he prefers to hand sew. It’s not impossible for him to use a sewing machine, but he just has his preference when it comes to sewing. Also, he doesn’t consider himself to be a professional when it comes to sewing even though he knows many different sewing techniques. He doesn’t think he can match the skills to those who may sew almost every single day and creating super complex things.

[fmdjunsu]

sanghyunfmd‌:

it took him a while to recognize who was the figure on the other side of the room. the dim light didn’t help to clarify the person walking toward Sanghyun, nevertheless, he was embarrassed for getting caught in the room throwing a solo tantrum. Sanghyun squinted his eyes until that person spoke out. It was a distinctive voice even when he was not on stage, as if there was a rhythm naturally following when he talked. 

“Hyung, it’s you,” he addressed with a light bow. Sanghyun picked the baseball cap from the floor and wore it again; the rim was wet from sweat and he regretted doing so, so he took it off again. He walked closer but noticed being too messy to represent himself, Sanghyun turned back on his heels to grab a towel and wiped off his limbs and neck. “Am I being too noisy? Sorry if it was too loud. I was just…practicing.”

He didn’t think that Sanghyun was being too noisy. He wasn’t bothered at all and it wasn’t why he entered the room. It was the thud he heard earlier that had him concerned and seeing nothing bad had happened his concerns were gone now. He would let Sanghyun return back to practicing and wish him the best during practice. 

“Not at all,” he reassures the younger. “I thought someone got hurt or something fell when I heard the thud and wanted to see what happened.” It truly was a relief that nothing dangerous happened. “Seeing that you’re practicing I probably shouldn’t take too much of your time. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I really did think that something happened and wanted to check to see what happened.”

[fmdjunsu]

youngminfmd‌:

youngmin perked up when he heard the doorbell ring. he finished grabbing the snacks he had brought earlier and laid them out on the table by his make up bag before scurrying to open the door for junsu. he immediately pulled the elder into a hug, excited and thankful. 

“ah hyung. thank you. you’re going to look so cute, i promise.”

he guided junsu into the living room where he had set up. he offered a bag of chips as he reopened the video for reference. the finished product looked so nice. he sat down by the table, patting for junsu to sit in front of him. he didn’t quite have the same exact supplies and palettes as the youtuber did, but he had close enough proximates to feel confident in replicating the look. 

“i have tea and soda in the kitchen too if you want it. i can always do lips last.”

He hugs the younger in return when he was pulled into a hug and follows Youngmin into the apartment. “I’m trusting you on that,” he chuckles. “But, I’m glad to help you out today. I’m sure you’ll do great.” 

He is sure that Youngmin would do well with today. Even if it doesn’t turn out perfect at least the younger was giving all his effort into it. Junsu would be happy enough if Youngmin enjoyed today even if the results weren’t what he was expecting. He knows makeup isn’t something that was easy to do, but the more practice you get the more you’ll see improvements being made.

Following Youngmin to the living room he sees that the younger had everything set up. He could see the makeup bag and when he sees Youngmin offering a bag of chips he gladly accepts it. He sits down in the chair in front of the younger and waits for Youngmin to get started. “Alright. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

[fmdjunsu]

fmdrem‌:

“ i promise, we’re going out soon, but first i wanted you to listen to something. ” considering how packed origin’s schedule was ━and how miserable mars was doing, month after month, making him doubt the group would ever survive this newly commenced year━, he doubted junsu wanted to even talk about the very music that tied them and gave them life, but still … it was a song he had been working for a while, something meant to talk even more of his personal struggles ━stored for now in a small mp3 file because he’s been chasing insik to listen to this but of course, leader was busy, couldn’t do much about it. “ i have the first draft in my phone and i can make you listen to it, i’m not gonna drag down the laptop. ”

@fmdjunsu​​

Oh his boyfriend has been working on a song? He’s curious to hear how the song is so far and give his opinions on it. He’s sure that Ahreum would appreciate the feedback as well. He’s aware today they’re suppose to go on a date together, but if Ahreum wants him to listen to a song he has been working on Junsu can’t find himself to say no. He wants to listen to it and whatever feedback he gives he hopes it’ll be helpful in the end. Plus, he doesn’t see this interfering with their date since they’re technically spending time together. “I’m not going to force you to grab your laptop if you don’t want to. Listening through your phone is fine with me. I’ll listen to it and give you my opinion, okay?”

[fmdjunsu]

sanghyunfmd‌:

plot: your muse heard a loud song playing in one of the studios and noticed it was sanghyun there practicing the dance all alone–and also making weird faces in between. 

+

Starting from the first chorus of the song, Sanghyun stretched his arms and leg, following the upbeat tempo. The body that had memorized the choreography fluently moved along with the music blaring in the background. Using his knee as a pivot, he made a quick spin and landed on another foot but stumbled when he couldn’t land properly. It was the same mistake again. Dank it. 

it’s been years and I think it’s time for you to polish your skill. 

He suddenly stopped. Sanghyun was sick of hearing it from time to time. 

He was standing in the center of the room, alone under the dim light. His breathing was short and heavy, sweats running down the sides of his face down to his back. The reflection in the mirror imitated his posture and the hardened mask arose on his mien. His kneecaps were on fire after repeating the routine numerous time even after the practicing hours ended, but he stayed in after the coach pulled him to the side, to messing up his confidence. every year ever since he debuted, the sentence had never been absent from their lips: polish your skill. 

Instead of pointing what was wrong with his movement, they kept playing the same card of Sanghyun’s incapability to make a bigger and sharp movement. Sanghyun believed he had done what he was told to, but as the formation got revised several times, he was placed on a different spot where the whole group appearance might look imbalance because of the different lengths of their limbs. Sanghyun had stated this way too often and didn’t mind to stay in the back if he had to, but soon he was deflated once the coach changed their mind, yet again. Sanghyun had to shift to the different positions twice further than before and it caused him to miss the beat every time. And yet he was one to blame for this. 

Sanghyun seized his cap and threw it to the floor. He sank down to the floor and let out a loud sigh. He met the eyes of himself on the mirror again and suddenly felt the rush of pitifulness in his gut. as if no matter how hard he tried, he wouldn’t be acknowledged. Sanghyun scooted closer to the surface and stuck his forefingers on each corner of his lips, pulling them out to force a smile. you chose this, you be responsible for this the words from his father ringing in his head. 

the dull thud coming from the door caused him to jerk on the floor. he didn’t realize he had been watched. 

He was busy in his studio working on songs for the group to be used in the group’s future album. They were preparing for a comeback and Junsu has been busy working on songs to be used in their upcoming album. Though it was no easy work for Junsu due to the role he plays when it comes to creating the songs for Origin. He puts in a lot of work and effort when working on songs for the group. 

Right now Junsu was stuck in getting a song to sound the same way he imagined it. He been working on this for maybe twenty or thirty minutes now. Nothing was working out and he decides that maybe he needs a break. Who knows how long he has been working in his studio. He steps out of his studio to get some fresh air and to clear out his thoughts. 

What throws him off guard as he leaves his studio is he hears some song playing off and wonders what was going on. At first he thought it might be one of his group members, but then he doesn’t remember any of them mentioning they were coming over. Plus, the song that was playing wasn’t one from their group and instead another. He’s curious what was going on and thought that someone might be practicing. If they were that was understandable. 

When he hears a thud it made him curious if something had fallen onto the ground. He decides to enter just to make sure nothing may had accidentally been damaged or broken. Though all he sees is Sanghyun in the room. He’s guessing the male must had been practicing take in the male’s appearance. Was he perhaps taking a break? Junsu isn’t really sure. He just wanted to see what was going on and if everything was all okay. He would leave right away if everything was good. He didn’t want to keep Sanghyun from practicing with him being in the practice room. If Sanghyun was here to practice then he wasn’t going to disturb him. 

He sees that he has caught the male’s attention walking in as the two made eye contact with each other. He’s going to try to not make this awkward between them both. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I heard the music and then a thud. Is everything okay?”

[jinv]

MAP OF THE SOUL : 7 ‘Interlude : Shadow’ Comeback Trailer

[fmdjunsu]

youngminfmd‌:

starter for @fmdjunsu

youngmin replayed the makeup tutorial for the fifth time, makeup brush in hand. he had seen the thumbnail for the video last night after he returned from practice, a ‘holiday look for a classy party.’ it’d been a while since he practiced something new, and he knew the exact person to turn to in this time of need. the go-to makeup sampler: his own fearless leader. he had texted him earlier, sometime between replay number two and three, with the promise of snacks in exchange for his blank, bare face. youngmin, despite doing makeup on himself often, always felt better at practicing on someone else. 

junsu hyung was cute anyway.

the video ended, a cherry “please hit like and subscribe!” echoing through his empty apartment. he giggled. in another life, he would be a youtuber with a catchy, cute greeting and closing. he stretched his legs, groaning as he pushed himself out of the sitting position he had been in for the past hour. he should get out the snacks he promised before junsu arrived. 

Junsu is well aware of Youngmin’s interest in makeup. He also knows that the younger likes to practice and to improve his skills with it. Junsu doesn’t think he can ever become skilled in makeup like their makeup stylists. He never really has the time anyways due to him busy working on music for the group. But, he’s glad to see Youngmin having a hobby that he enjoys doing and sharing it off. 

When Youngmin asked him if he could come over and practice makeup on him Junsu was glad to accept. He’s sure practicing makeup on yourself isn’t really helpful and having someone else is much more easier. He found time so that Youngmin could practice on him. He’s glad to help Youngmin knowing that the younger wanted to improve in his skills with makeup. 

Arriving at the younger’s apartment he goes to ring the doorbell and waits for Youngmin to open the door. And when the door opens he smiles at the younger and enters the apartment. “Hey. I am here and prepared to help you with improving your makeup skills.”

[fmdjunsu]

fmdrem‌:

“ i’d rather get no bruises, or my makeup artist will kill me ━with the help of my manager. ” it’s not like he could ask for days or rest, or that covering up bruising was easy ; considering he was a dancer, it was all too easy for him to accidentally slam himself somewhere while being too focused on the flow of the choreography, and ending up having to suck it up while being prepared for the stage. and he can tell anyone ━applying makeup on a bruise is very, very painful. and ice still looked very, very slippery underneath the blades of his skates. he loved going onto skateboards and rollerblades ━why is this so different ?  “ i feel so incredibly inferior to those kiddies who are like, five years old and already doing flips and spins like they’re yuzuru hanyu or something, like … how. give me your sense of balance. ” at least junsu was there with him ( and as afraid to slam against someplace on a pair of ice skates as the dancer himself was ) and he was smiling, which was all ahreum really wanted, at the end of the day.

He too wanted to avoid getting bruises, but who knows with this. He knows he’ll get in trouble too if he gets a bruise and wanted to avoid that situation as much as Ahreum does. But, considering they knew nothing about ice skating it was impossible not to end up with a bruise. It would be consider luck if they didn’t end up with a bruise. “I’m in the same situation as you and as much as I want to avoid getting them I can see us getting them.” Going out to ice skate was something Junsu never really had a chance to do when he was younger or as he was growing up. He was dealing with his own family situation back then. He had only heard things about people ice skating and seen a few videos and that was about it. “It would be nice to have their skills so we don’t look so lost,” he laughs. “But, let’s just focus on finding balance so that we can at least attempt to skate.” They probably won’t achieve the skills of Yuzuru Hanyu today, but at least they can attempt to try gaining the basics of ice skating. “I think we have to bend our knees or something to help with balancing if I remember correctly.”   

[fmdjunsu]

👀 whats the most difficult thing youve ever experienced 👀 how do you cope with stress

👀 whats the most difficult thing youve ever experienced

“When Ahreum and I broke up. I was dumb thinking that a breakup was best for us since I didn’t want us to be caught and have our careers be ruined. I didn’t cope well after our breakup. I still loved him even after our breakup and I knew the both of us were hurting. Whenever we ran into each other and I saw that hurt look on his face I felt terrible because I know I’m the one responsible for it. It took us some time to realize we both need each other and we decided to get back together after talking things out. We both still love each other and I’m happy we’re back together. I’ve been happier that I have him by my side again and I know he’s been happy too.”

👀 how do you cope with stress

“Usually I would try to go out for walks to clear out my head. Or I either go and listen to some music or find a group member to talk with.”

[fmdjunsu]

👀 + how do you think you'd feel if you woke up in 2020 and origin was suddenly unknown?

👀 + how do you think you’d feel if you woke up in 2020 and origin was suddenly unknown?

“I’m assuming you mean like Origin doesn’t exist anymore? I’d need clarification on what you mean by suddenly unknown. If you mean the group doesn’t exist anymore then it would feel quite awkward. Like I feel out of place all of a sudden because Origin doesn’t exist anymore and the lifestyle I’m used to living isn’t there anymore. I’m guessing that my group members don’t know each other anymore too so the bonds I have with them would be gone. It would make me sad since they’re family to me. But, if you mean like we lost our popularity then I’d feel like we’re back to our debut days. Even if we’re not popular as long as we have fans or people who listen to us then I’m glad.”

[fmdjynxarchive]

backstage / jynx & open

[fmdjunsu]

fmdjynx‌:

“i bet they can’t wait for you guys.” she relaxed, shifting her weight to one foot. just a sign that she was about to get comfortable. already thinking of what to say next. and it wasn’t as if having a conversation with junsu would be hard, with him being a fellow label mate. “just got finished and i’m happy, i can wear more comfortable shoes.” because walking around in heels hadn’t been her favorite thing to do. dancing in them was below that. 

“can i have any hints for the performance?” a joke but she really wouldn’t mind hearing it. “either way, i know that it’ll be great.” when it came to performing, origin wasn’t really a group she worried about when it came to being on stage. “i wish we performed different songs or did a little more. something.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. Everyone always seems to be waiting for our performances.” Of course there were people wanting to see their performance. Their performances always seems to capture people’s attention. It wasn’t easy to turn your head away from it. It was as if you had to watch or you’ll miss out the good parts. “That’s good and at least you can relax now and not worry about having to perform again tonight.” He’s guessing Jynx is happy that now she can relax since she was done performing for the event. 

“Sadly I can’t give any. You’ll just need to wait and see,” he chuckles. Their performance was probably already going to be seen as great to viewers and those attending this event. He and the others have been practicing for who knows how long for this performance. They were going to make sure that the performance would go smoothly without any mistakes. Hopefully no mistakes are going to be made.  “Oh? Were there songs you wanted to perform?”

[fmdjunsu]

👀 + if you could pass off the leader position to another member for a month, would you? 👀 + favorite place to unwind? 👀 + favorite moment of this year?

👀 + if you could pass off the leader position to another member for a month, would you?

“Actually, I don’t think I would. Everyone doesn’t have any issues with me being the leader and I don’t want them to deal with the pressure that comes with the role of the leader. There’s a lot that goes on with my position that I don’t want them to stress over or get overwhelmed.”

👀 + favorite place to unwind?

“I would say my apartment.”

👀 + favorite moment of this year?

“Ah, well a lot of things happened this year. Though, I would say seeing my group members release their solo songs and albums. It makes me happy seeing their works getting released and seeing how well they do.”

[fmdjunsu]

👀 what's your new years resolution

“Perhaps putting more effort in picking gag gifts for my group members when their birthday comes up. Gifting you guys acrylic stands of myself and a signed poster of myself was me just giving up on ideas of what to give you all even though I did get you all serious gifts too alongside with the gag gifts. I’d give you guys a shirt with a photo of me with whoever’s birthday it is on it, but I think that’s just encouraging you all to kick me out of the group. Anyways, in all seriousness maybe releasing a solo song? Though that may be tricky considering how Origin’s schedules are nowadays. But, I will try my best.”

[fmdjunsu]

👀 what would make you happy right now? 👀 are you satisfied with what origin is doing musically? 👀 if you were to release another solo album right now, what would you want the listener to get out of it?

👀 what would make you happy right now? 

“Well, my group members and my boyfriend make me happy.”

👀 are you satisfied with what origin is doing musically? 

“I am. If my group members aren’t that’s something they and I can discuss and talk about.”

👀 if you were to release another solo album right now, what would you want the listener to get out of it?

“Finding a connection to the meaning of the song overall. I do want whatever songs I decide to release if I do another solo album that they can somehow relate to it in the end. I want them to see me as a regular human being as well who goes through the same things as them. I find songs to be more meaningful if listeners are able to connect with the song or just find out the overall message I’m trying to get out in the song.”

[fmdjunsu]

👀 do you feel the pressure of having everybody watch you and your group's every step, waiting for you all to slip? 👀 what's the hardest part of being the leader of such a successful group?

👀 do you feel the pressure of having everybody watch you and your group’s every step, waiting for you all to slip? 

“Of course I do. Who wouldn’t?” 

👀 what’s the hardest part of being the leader of such a successful group?

“Well, it would be the stress. Since I’m the leader most of the people’s attention will be put on me due to my position in the group. People are paying attention how I lead Origin and how I treat my group members. They’ll be paying attention to everything I do within the group and the things I say during interviews. One slip up I can damage the group’s reputation and can be told to leave the group. I don’t want that happening.”

[fmdjunsu]

👀 what hasn't origin accomplished that you hope you will in 2020? 👀 what do you miss most when you're away from home? 👀 are you satisfied with how your life is at the moment or would you rather have a break?

👀 what hasn't origin accomplished that you hope you will in 2020?

“I’m not really sure to be honest. We accomplished a lot of things that I’m not sure what’s left. Whatever we accomplish the next year I’ll be satisfied with it.”

👀 what do you miss most when you're away from home?

“Well being away from those I’m close with. I don’t get to see them very often or get to spend a lot of time with them with how much traveling Origin does.”

👀 are you satisfied with how your life is at the moment or would you rather have a break?

“I’m pretty satisfied, though a break would be nice too. I would like to see my group and myself getting to have time to ourselves and relax from our hectic and packed schedules. I would like to spend time to myself as Kang Junsu, a regular person instead of Prophet of Origin.”