An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14471496/chapters/34833047Chapters: 4/? Rating: Explicit Relationship: Fenris/Male Hawke Additional Tags: Recovery, Red Lyrium, Masturbation, Complicated Relationships, Kink Negotiation, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Rape/Non-Con, PSTD Summary: Fenris is a free man, again, recovering and relearning how to be a person in Skyhold while he waits for the operation to remove the red lyrium from his markings. He discovers that among all the things Danarius stole from him is his ability to find sexual gratification, even from himself. Plagued with guilt and shame regarding his broken sexuality and unusual fantasies, Fenris attempts to drown out his thoughts and instead is prompted with a new option he didn’t know existed.
“How does one make an ‘agreement’ with you?”
Fenris’ heartbeat leapt up into his throat as Iron Bull raised his eyebrows in mild surprise and stood, motioning for Fenris to follow him. He hesitated for a moment, clenched fists sweating from the red lyrium as he stood and followed the giant qunari from their table in the busy tavern and up the stairs.
Iron Bull climbed the steps and looked around the upper level of the tavern, heading for a vacant and quiet corner with a small empty table. Fenris released a tightly held breath, thankful that the qunari wasn’t actually leading him to somewhere private, just quieter. He had almost expected Bull to take him back to his room right away, and if Fenris was being honest, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t.
They sat at the smaller table, both of them adjusting their seats so they had eyes on the stairs and each other. Iron Bull leaned forward on the small table, his giant arms taking up almost the entire surface as he spoke in a low, quiet voice.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Iron Bull said it slowly, his one eye watching Fenris closely. “Because if you do, we need to talk and you are going to have to be honest and open with me.”
Fenris nodded once, he had come this far hadn’t he? He knew how to negotiate, at least he had in the past, and been present at the recent negotiations for his status in the Inquisition. He wasn’t sure what honesty or openness had to do with it though.
“No sex,” Fenris blurted clumsily, his ears twitching backward as the words settled uncomfortably in the air. “As you said, you have agreements where it is not sexual, correct?”
Iron Bull blinked and nodded slowly, “Yeah, of course,” He answered, although Fenris wasn’t sure which part he was referencing, “That’s one of the things we need to discuss, limits and boundaries. I want to know what you want and what you do not want, Fenris.”
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