@fockbambi / “tell me how to make it better.” uvu / prompt.
there’s something about bambi saying those words that reminded them of the years prior to now , it felt like a long time ago , like decades. but , it really hadn’t been that long ago , hadn’t it? back to when they were kids , the day jiseok got home from the hospital , after the accident. after everything , it hit them like a pile of bricks. the fact that they didn’t have their parents anymore , the guilt of not being able to remember them or anything prior to the accident.
it left a feeling in their chest , like an empty space that shouldn’t be there , like they had lost a part of themselves then. they remember him saying the same thing , tucked away into their bed , tear-stained and heartbroken. even to this day , jiseok isn’t sure if they deserved to cry over their parents , after all , they remembered little to nothing of them anymore. nothing clear anyways , it felt like all of the memories of their parents had been brought in by different sources. none of those being their own or their parents , all from others who thought sharing these things with them would help.
despite good intentions , it only made them feel worse for not remembering. for not knowing these things like they should , why couldn’t they be normal? in this moment , they felt like a child again , so small. it made them feel useless , like they should be helping everyone else , they didn’t want to focus on themselves. not after everything that had happen , yet here they were. tears spilling down their cheeks that they tried to roughly wipe away to no avail , sobs choking them between every attempt.
hands are shaky when they pull their inhaler out of their pocket , bringing it to their lips to inhale. afterwards , bringing it down to their side , taking several deep breaths before glancing at bambi with a forced smile. they wished they still trusted him enough to confined in him , but that was in the past , before they ended up breaking each other’s heart.
‘ i’m fine .... there’s nothing to make better. ‘ there’s a pause , looking away as their eyes focused on the floor. the tension in the room felt unbearable , the raspiness of their voice was unable to hide the pain behind it. ‘ if you were suggesting something else by that .... then i think that might been too overdue to fix , bambi. ‘