Mar 10, 2018
Did you know that covering yourself in Wookie jizz is the best way to show dominance???
EXCUSE ME? -AH
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Did you know that covering yourself in Wookie jizz is the best way to show dominance???
EXCUSE ME? -AH
Armie u r a pretty boy
Yes, I agree. Thank you for noticing. -AH
There is no such thing as overkill. There is only sufficient kill.
- Grand Marshal Armitage Hux
Attention all personnel!
Would whoever just made Supreme Leader Ren angry please submit their details immediately, as I intend to hold them fully responsible for the damage he has just done to Communications Room 6. Rest assured that this will be taken out of your salary.
-Grand Marshal Hux
Attention all personnel!
It has come to my notice that many staff are apparently “too scared” to approach us with their day-to-day concerns. I wish to take this opportunity to inform everyone that failure to report in to us as and when required by your duties may result in disciplinary measures, up to and including immediate execution via expulsion from the nearest airlock.
I hope you find this reassuring.
All Glory to the First Order.
-AH
Attention all personnel!
I’m sure by now you have received news of Lieutenant Braxton’s untimely death in the line of duty. While it is true that Braxton was recently overheard denigrating the nature of mine and the Supreme Leader’s relationship, we wish to assure you that this has absolutely nothing to do with the unfortunate lightsaber accident which occurred earlier today.
Should any of you share Braxton’s concerns, Supreme Leader Ren and I would like to invite you to take them up with us directly. Before you do so, please ensure that HR has been given up-to-date details of your next of kin.
All Glory to the First Order.
-Grand Marshal Hux
Attention all personnel!
Having listened to your suggestions, I have elected to hold a series of hour-long morale-boosting speeches, commencing at 0700 tomorrow in the main ceremony room. Non-attendance will be severely punished. That is all.
-AH
Sir, to boost morale, we can offer more shore leave. Also, if more of your speeches could be available for viewing, that would be amazing.
Thank you for the suggestion, Lieutenant. I applaud your taste in orators. Unfortunately, we can’t afford to expand shore leave options at the present time, but I hear what you’re saying, and I think I’ve found a solution that pleases everybody: I am going to make more speeches. Attendance is mandatory. You’re welcome.-AH