Chapter 14: Torture & revelation
Synecdoche: a part representing the whole
Word count: 2.9 k Pairing: Din Djarin (the Mandalorian) x Force Sensitive!fem!reader Summary: Din Djarin encounters a force sensitive witch while fleeing danger. While her moral compass convinces her to save and help him, she fears it will lead to her end, the end of a livelihood she has longed for. Will you abandon the life that you have created for yourself, or help Din and the greater good of the kingdom? Warnings: Din & Paz doing some war crimes Fic song rec: Rattlesnake by Glass Beams Masterlist | AO3 | Previous Chapter 13: Blotting out the stars*
“Can you believe that fucker bit me?” you muttered to Cinder as you stared with half-lidded eyes at the gashes on your arm from the trandoshan. Cinder meowed and almost started to lick your wounds.
“Ah ah, Cinder. Can’t let you do that. Venomous, ‘member?” You try your best not to slur your words as you begin to sloppily grind some herbs together. Cinder brought some pine straw to you in her mouth and placed it at your crossed legs.
“Thanks, sweetie.” You had to snap your fingers together a few times struggling to get the flame to light. The pine straw quickly erupted into flames, traveling down the long skinny stalks. Cinder piled on twigs and small branches as you breathed into the fire, willing it to grow.
You could sense the venom traveling quickly through your veins racing straight to your heart. It was like you could almost feel it shutter with every beat, trying its best to not make it your last. The world was spinning as you tried to steady your hands while you ground some dried sage in your mortar and pestle.
Din and Paz had finally wrestled the trandoshan, cuffing and tying him to a nearby tree. You could vaguely feel their energy. Din, quiet rage, trying his best to mask it so the trandoshan wouldn’t realize he had the advantage right now. Paz, frantic panic, right at the cusp of despair. Did you really look that bad to Paz?
You could hear Paz’s voice far off asking how you were. He was muffled as if he was behind a door or trying to talk to your under water. But, he was right next to you, shaking you, trying to get your attention. Finally, his words worked their way through the venom’s effect. “Din has him tied up. What do you need me to do?”
Think, you have to think. What is a common antidote to venom? This should not be such a struggle. You should know this off the top of your head, but the venom, it’s starting to take root. Panic starts to roll through you, the adrenaline jump-starting your brain.
“Sage…baby’s breath, ginger, and…” Your breathing was labored, trying your best to hang on. “Solomon's seal, yes. I labeled all the tins…” Your hand slipped as you slouched over, feeling too tired to hold yourself up.
Paz caught you and laid you on the ground before moving to gather the ingredients. “Fuck. Keep your eyes on me. Keep your fucking eyes on me. How much of each?” Paz frantically darted his gaze between you and all the tins he had finally found. He sounded so scared. It can’t be that bad, can it? The venom was working like a depressant, slowing you down, making you woozy as your breaths became less frequent, almost as if you were going to fall asleep.
“A pinch. S’all you need.” You felt Cinder between your legs, trying to comfort you in her own way. “Put it over the fire and add a little bit of water. We want paste, not soup.” You limply held your finger up, pointing to the small fire that you and Cinder had managed to start, but it was fading fast, just like you.
Paz lifted his helmet a bit to breathe on the fire, its flames jumping to attention from his ministrations. He found your wooden spoon and used it to mix the contents as he poured in water from his canteen. You laid on the forest floor, ear to the ground. It grounded you, reminding you that you still had a fight to win. That you could win.
“Paz, help me…please?” He quickly held you upright so that you could out stretch your hand and say a soft cantation over the medication. He stirred as you spoke. You focused on the wind slipping by the leaves, the birds’ wings flapping, and the clouds that slowly moved across the sky.
You laid back, hoping that the spell took. Paz scooped the paste and you motioned for him to rub it into your arm. Sharp pain came from your arm as Paz hastily rubbed it over the wound. You should have winced, but your body didn’t let you react. Despite all this effort, you slipped into unconsciousness, though at the last second you slid into Cinder’s mind.
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Weeks had passed as you, Din, and Paz continued to walk around the kingdom. A few adventures had ensued: a chance encounter with a warlock powered by some prince of hell, riddles and puzzles all to pass safely through old Mandalorian ruins, and that pesky shapeshifter who turned out to be a trandoshan spy.
You watched him through Cinder’s perceptive gaze, being held still by Paz while Din waited for an answer to a question that you had missed, letting his rage fester. To your shock, the creature laughed in his face, taunting Din. With efficient movement and no hesitation, Din slashed off the creature’s hand using the dark saber. He screamed out, thrashing trying to break free of Paz’s hold. Once Paz had re-secured him, Din pressed the flat side of the dark saber against the open wound, effectively cauterizing it. The smell of scorched flesh flooded your senses making you want to back away. The trandoshan continued to scream, but he laughed with the pain, flashing his sharp teeth in a wicked grin.
You knew you should feel sympathy, but nothing floated to the surface of your emotions. It had been too close. The trandoshan had come too close to murdering you. Its teeth had grated into your arm, venom entering into your body. It had disguised itself as an unassuming nymph near the creek that you had taken a break at to regain some energy. Dipping your feet in, you tried to strike up a conversation with it. You had a few encounters with a couple near your homestead. It had turned on you quickly, taking advantage of your exhausted state.
Cinder purred, completely unphased by the torture or the crazy reptile. She was just happy to have you with her while you were passed out. Paz had moved back to you when Din had signaled to give the prisoner some time to breath. Cinder trailed him, wanting to not miss any of the action. It was weird, looking back at yourself as you laid unconscious with Paz hold you close to him, trying to comfort you. His large frame cradled you, rocking you gently while he whispered something to you. You could tell he was shaken, but eventually he calmed down enough to check your pulse again.
“Paz, is she still with us?” Din’s voice, while commanding, had an edge of apprehension to it, as if he did not want the truth.
“Yes, her pulse is faint, but it is there.”
You felt their relief wash over you. “Good, now we can turn to this other matter.” Din turned to look back at the trandoshan that was still panting from the last session of questioning.
You scampered out of the tent, trying your best to adjust to Cinder’s vision. As night fell, you could perfectly see Din and Paz stalking toward the spy, ready to get some answers. You perched yourself up on a low branch that had an ideal vantage point.
You watched, with a hint of excitement, as Din and Paz manhandled the beast so that Paz had forced one of its arms to fully extend. Din pulled out his vibroblade and slid it along the inner side of its bicep. The bicep was a weak tender part of the arm, easy to pry and play with. Far enough away from the heart and major arteries to avoid bleeding the creature, but soft enough to cause pain. The buzz of the blade as it lightly tapped on its scales almost overwhelmed you. How was all of Cinder’s senses this strong?
“Who sent you?”
The trandoshan gnashed its teeth at Din in response. In silent communication, Paz tightened his grip and Din slowly worked his blade underneath one of its scales on its bicep. It tried to squirm and look away, but Paz forced its head to the side with a large hand around its chin, making it watch as Din popped a scale off. The scream that emitted from it made you involuntarily jump. It put you and Cinder on edge.
“Let’s try this again. Who sent you?”
Din dug his knife in where he had removed the scale, but before he could get too deep, the creature finally talked. A raspy serpentine voice came forth.
“You know who sent me. He’s killed plenty of us before.” the reptile darted his eyes to Paz.
“Why?”
The trandoshan laughed, causing Din’s anger to spike. He sunk his blade deeper. The creature howled in pain, but it was still somehow able to maintain a grin.
“Completely mad,” you thought and Cinder gave a short meow in agreement.
“To murder the girl! There is no hope for you without her.”
“And what was the plan after that?”
It giggled some more while Paz pressed its face further into the dirt.
“I die a hero and we take your kingdom.”
“How?”
“Two mandalorians tear me limb by limb as I laugh at their frustration!” Its hideous shrill laugh cut through the otherwise silent forest.
Din shoved the rest of the blade to the hilt into its bicep and Paz’s gauntlet flamethrower was at the ready, right in the line of sight of the trandoshan.
“We assault the front gates in a week’s time. Your kingdom will fall without her.”
You could feel Din’s shock and you felt it yourself. You had always thought that he would just need you for the protective boundary, a means to an end. How were you supposed to fight a whole army of trandoshans?
“Ah, you really think that lowly of yourself, my child?”
The booming voice caused you to reeled back in shock and confusion. Cinder’s hair rose in alarm, claws drawn, eye diluted, and attention fully turned to the source of the commanding voice.
A hulking mass towered above Cinder and the trees, casting her into darkness. You peered up at a face within the darkness. One that you somehow recognized.
“Bendu?” You whispered in Cinder’s mind, wondering how you knew it was him, the force-sensitive entity that your parents and your people had followed and learned from for eons. You glanced back, expected for Din and Paz to be looking on with you, but they were still crouched over the trandoshan.
“Cats are such perceptive beings, aren’t they? I can rarely hide from them for long. Glad you can perceive me in this form with her help.”
“Does that mean cats are force-sensitive?” You could hear your voice clearly even though that made little sense to you as you were clearly in Cinder’s consciousness.
“Mmm perhaps though I have not put much thought into it.” Bendu noticed your glances behind you, back to the mandalorians. “Ah ah, do not worry about them. They cannot see us and are not going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Why are you revealing yourself to me now? After all this time?”
“Quite simple. One, you never meditate, even though I and your elders have taught you otherwise. And, two, you need me.”
You glance over at yourself. You look pale and worn thin. This journey had taken its toll on you. And the venom, well that would surely come close to killing you.
“You will barely survive the poison without my help. But, the battle at the gates will surely wipe you out.”
“Such little faith in me,” you whisper with a twinge of sadness.
“Quite the contrary, I just know your limits, so do you, and you are right up against them.”
Pausing, you wondered why he cared. Why does it matter if you died?
“Because you bring balance to the force, my dear.”
“Get out of my head!” Frustration takes hold. Why now? Why couldn’t he have been there when you were alone? Why didn’t he help your parents? Your people? A flurry of emotions wash over you, frustration, sadness, loneliness, fear, and dread for the future. Always dread. You had been truly alone. You had made friends with anything you could to make up for the absence of your family, but at the same time shielded yourself from anything too new. And lastly, desperation for a semblance of stability. You craved stability, a constant to lean on.
“I am always here. I am always within you and you within me.”
“I never felt your presence. I was alone because of you.”
“When did you try to find me, hm? You buried me with your parents, little one. You abandoned me when you lost hope and turned to desperation for survival.”
“And what would you have done? What would you have done differently, oh pious one?! Be one with the Force and the Force will be with you? Not so easy when everything in your life was taken from you!”
Your voice was shrill, screaming out at him. You threw years of suppressed rage at him.
“You have done nothing wrong. Everything is worth doing to learn from the experience and to become your true self.”
You had forgotten how annoyingly simple and cryptic Bendu’s lessons were. Full of fables that could be many things, depending on one’s interpretation and mood that particular day. You huffed in annoyance, accepting his non-response. You allowed your emotions to flow out of you and let go of them, for now. Frustration simmered, just at the surface, but you tried to focus on the present instead of your past. There was still hope. Bendu smiled knowingly. You ignored his reaction, wanting to get to the point of this meeting.
“Why choose me? I thought you didn’t choose sides, a true pacifist.”
His booming voice rattled your skull, “If the sith were to bring balance, I’d choose them. If the Jedi were to bring balance, then they would be my choice. And if a beggar were to bring balance, then I’d happily choose them.”
“I am just a means to an end for you too then?” The frustration ebbed and in flowed the sadness. What was the point of all of this? What was the point of life?
“Life, my child, can always be simplified to just that, but it can be so much more, it is just up to you to forge it to your liking.”
“But you must bring back balance through me first?”
“I must maintain balance through you.”
“And how might we do that?”
“I help you and you keep a promise.”
“How would you help me?”
“Enhance your fighting abilities and give you more stamina so that you can finish the protective boundary just in time to meet the enemy at the gates.”
“But, the promise is the catch, right?”
“Yes, indeed my child, the promise is the catch.”
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Paz’s flamethrower ignited, scorching the skin underneath the layer of scales. The screams would have normally tortured Din, but tonight he was out for blood. He watched as the trandoshan burned alive as Paz doused it in flames. The smell assaulted him, but he was able to filter out most of it through his helmet, though he did feel the heat. His beskar armor warmed as the creature burned. Everything else around it was burned, a neat circle of black. As the body smoldered, Din knelt down by its head, which Paz had expertly avoided for him. Din looked into the lifeless eyes of the trandoshan as he cut its head with his blade. A trophy to send back to their leader. Din’s attention quickly turned to you as he heard a groan.
With the head in tow, he made his way over to you. He took in your small form, trying to sit up. Paz rushed over and helped you.
“How do you feel?” They both said in unison as you bleakly pried your eyes open.
“We have to make it to the gates within a week’s time,” you croaked out as Paz helped you up.
“How do you know that?”
“Bendu, he visited me. Helped me power up. Did you get the same information from the spy?”
Din and Paz nodded. You thought you would’ve felt better after Bendu’s visit, but your energy was still way down…and the dread of the promise weighed heavy on your heart.
“I need to soak for a bit and then we can start moving.” You regarded the head of the spy that Din held.
“Can you call a bird to be a messenger for me?” You could still feel the sharpness of Din’s fury. You decided to not poke the bear and called a vulture.
“A vulture, a bringer of new beginnings.” You watched as the vulture pecked at the head for a bit, eating the eye of the spy. “And the scavenger of the dead.” You willed it to find the trandoshan encampment and deliver the head back to its people.
As it rose into the sky, you gingerly climbed into the creek to soak. You watched as Din and Paz refreshed their water supply, finally tilted your head back to the heavens to regard the bird. It was time to prepare for battle.
“The vulture, a malicious spirit that brings death with them.”
Author's note: It has been a hot fucking minute since I have updated this fic 😅 If you haven’t already figured it out, I don’t think I will be able to be on a regular writing schedule since I am currently getting my shit pushed in by my PhD research, but I will try my best to keep this fic going. I stare at a computer screen for 8+ hours a day, so I am trying to spend my free time not doing this...which is unfortunately causing me to not write. I am still trying to figure out a balance, but right now it seems a bit impossible 🥲 regardless, life has been busy, but good. I got engaged to the love of my life, which has been incredible so far 😁 You'll be happy to know that he has told me multiple times that I should try to make more time to write for fun. I think he's a keeper 😜 Don't worry, I promise I will finish this fic. I am just not sure if I can finish before I get my PhD 😅 As always, please leave some comments, reblogs, and likes for me. You know I love that shit! Masterlist | AO3











