emerald - how they tell someone they love them without wordsThe most constant sign of it, one that Dhruastun is wholly unaware of, is the tendency to tuck their hair behind their ears. If he's grown to love someone--in any of the myriad ways that love is, be it familial, romantic, platonic, what have you--it's when he brushed a bit of their hair back behind their ear. It may happen often, or it may only happen once, but it's very much a tell. It's not so much a concern for how they look--because if anyone is to start caring about looks it's most certainly not Dhruastun. It's more because it combs the hair away from their face, and that is what he cares for, to not miss anything there. He wants to witness every inflection, good and bad, and he wants to always know the way the planes of that face is put together. Casual settings are by far the most common, brushing back the hair to land a peck where neck meets jaw, or simply as an action of being near someone. It requires a level of trust where proximity or physicality. Really, it can be hidden in something much more formal too, an excuse to align some wayward strand to help someone look more professional is not done out of being conscious of their looks, it is because he cares. He cares often, he cares plenty, and it's shown in that gentle loop of his fingers to tuck away a displaced lock, in the way he tends to follow the edge of the ear, how he skirts around the curve of the shell with careful precision. He is not a finicky person, not someone who is bothered with ensuring that details are fixed to a certain point. Dhruastun cares, and he is blind to the fact it's pretty obvious in intimate--perhaps un-intendedly intimate--moments like this. malachite - what they as a child thought they would be when they grew upDead. Dead. D e a d.A young child, back when he was dalish, when he had a clan, when he believed in so much, he thought his options were limitless. He wanted to be a savior, a hero to help his people, a great hunter to keep others well fed, a wondrous Keeper to ensure tradition. His wants changed with the wind, and he never questioned any of it. He wanted to help, to be someone who did something important, who did something that mattered, even if it was only to those in his clan and didn't manage to reach out any further. He thought he was going to be someone who kept the ideals of the elvhen alive and safe.Still a child, a slightly older child, with no clan, no home, and no option rather than to serve, he did not think he would grow up. He did not think he would live that long. Furthermore, he thought he had no choice in what he could be. He was given a task, given a role, given a name, and he was expected to take them all and not question a thing. He had no notion of being something more because there was no room to dream, no room to hope, and no room at all to chance thinking of what was ahead. Each time that happened it only hurt, so he didn't think about it. He did not allow himself the luxury of thinking what he could be when he grew up--and, really, with that he quit being much of a child at all. quartz - how they think other people see themAs a smudge. He thinks others see him as an unintended fluke, perhaps even a mistake, however that word is far too strong for his liking. Dhruastun has yet to really shake the idea that he can be seen by others, that he's no longer a servant, straight backed and head bowed, wearing his mask of loyalty and subdued. He tends to assume that people don't see him, that he's easily overlooked and passed over. Servitude drilled this into him, but also living as a wandering apostate--a hermit, whether that was intended or not--has left him very unaware of how people can see him, that he's not invisible or some unseen shadow.When he is more aware of it, Dhruastun tends to believe he's likely a smudge, something that could have been done properly, however ruined because it wasn't allowed to set and dry properly. He is quick to assume that others see him as a nuisance or a potential problem. Being an elf does not grant him favors, and he is accustomed to the idea that he will be looked down on and assumed to be lower than those who aren't--he believes thats how most see it. Furthermore, being an apostate means that he's likely tagged as a troublesome low-life, perhaps even a dangerous one, however with no true merit because of his bloodlines. He is a smudge, something that could have been something, and instead turned out to be such a disappointment--that is what he most often assumed others think of him as.
