Jul 13
"I was listening to the radio yesterday when the host said something that stayed with me: God will not judge me for how others treat m
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"I was listening to the radio yesterday when the host said something that stayed with me: God will not judge me for how others treat m
Explanation ≠ justification.
You can understand the how and why and still take accountability after having processed why it is that you did. Doesn’t remove the results. Doesn’t remove the acknowledgment an apology is necessary.
I’m so sick and tired of people using their trauma, mental illness, etc as justification. It explains the why but it doesn’t take into consideration the capacity to say sorry and do better.
You can have suffered indescribable horrors and while it undoubtedly affects your past, present and to a certain degree your future, it is up to YOU not others to heal those parts, to do better, to become the person you want to be.
Two truths can exist at once, just depends if you’re willing to do the nitty gritty work.
It was a good day at work and I’m glad I got to see my boss quickly before heading in. I finalllllly got my first Gymshark order in and J was nice enough to help with the whole kerfuffle so it’s officially in my hands after waiting 4 weeks. I cannot wait to try it on and compare it to Lulu but also if I’m wearing it I’m using it. I’m building a lot of muscle and also have so much laundry to do now that I’m training 5-6 times a week so it was a nice treat yourself moment. We’ll see how it compares and performs but it’s different from what I usually wear so I’m stoked to try something new.
I went to class after work and today is a week since I restarted my practise. So that means 3 times in that span which is epic. M was nice enough to hook me up and I got my 2 week intro pass for $49. I can’t wait to go ham and stretch, I’ve missed it so much for a multitude of reasons and I’m so proud I’m getting back into it. Plus I know it’ll just help all the other work I’m doing.
I was doing well or so I thought but this lapse confronted me head on. But hey, we move onward and forward, bring it on. I will get to the bottom of this but it is so so difficult to recount…everything. The comments. The digs. The silence. The coldness. The distance. The hurt. The sickness. The betrayal. The heartbreak. The abuse. Every intention is about me, it’s MY practise and I deserve to take up space. Nevertheless a part of my heart always sends love, peace of mind and forgiveness. I just want what’s best, for all parties involved. I just want to move on and the detachment comes in waves. Water flows and I move with the tide.
So it was a motivating class, it was a flow which is what I needed. And then we did pigeon at the end and all hell broke loose. I was the last one in the studio, soaking up shavasana and it unlocked something in my hips. AFABs store so much in our hips and for years I just…want…to…fucking…release…this…trauma. The additions over the years. The foundation from the start. The middle that makes me feel insane from time to time for forgetting and now being forced to remember. So silently I Iet the tears mix in with the sweat, not sobbing or disturbing anyone. Just taking up space and time to feel, to embrace it coming up and out, to give that time to me. I deserve to be at peace and pain free. I will be pain free. One step at a time, one lift, one flow at a time. I am fluid like the ocean water that ruins through me. I am made up of stardust and just like a rock, I anchor myself.
Instant pot is going with collagen rich soup, I picked up an ounce which is insane because the half ounce from Ottawa lasted an absolute eternity. I’m smoking less which is nice to see. My class starts next week and I am beyond elated to be back at college.
I am on the right path. Namaste.
You may be validated in your hurt, + the wrongdoers may not be deserving of your forgiveness, but neither were we worthy of the forgiveness
10-06-2024 FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION ✨✨✨
Credit: Christine Owens, @christineowensart on Instagram.
The Novelist/Pornographer Episode 6 Finale Commentary
2022/08/10 - 【映画】2023.9.8公開『#禁じられた遊び』黒崎役『#劇場版TOKYOMER』『#バイオレンスアクション』『#極主夫道ザシネマ』『#娼年』【ドラマ
Starring Izuka Kenta and Terunosuke Takezai
This is a review about the show, and they compare it to Mood Indigo, which relates to the story. I agree with some of their criticisms. I appreciate their opinions. But overall, I enjoyed the story.
The Surprising Context of the Idea that God's Ways Are Not Our Ways, and God's Thoughts Are Not Our Thoughts
That God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts is often mentioned in the context of things we do not understand about life.
How many times have you heard someone say, “God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, and His ways are not our ways”? Think about the context in which those words tend to be spoken…. The death of a loved one, a difficult time you are going through, plans that don’t work out, change you long for doesn’t happen, or unexpected change throws your life into chaos: these are the kinds of circumstances in…
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