Still playing Bridge for reasons
CW: Anxiety, intrusive thoughts.
I still haven’t finished Bridge to the Turnabout but I have reasons.
It’s an amazing case and I am taking WAY too many notes, so it takes me an hour to play ten minutes of the game.
School is out, which means my work hours have gone way up and I don’t have any waiting-for-my-kids-to-finish-class time.
If I finish this case I have to move on and I don’t want Phoenix to be sad. He’s so happy right now, with Miles back, and I have looming anxiety about what happens to him after this.
My time and energy have been taken up a little too much by fighting the Puritans in my head. I started an SSRI for anxiety - better living through chemistry! -- and it’s not up to a good level yet and it did a lousy new-SSRI side effect of magnifying the very bad intrusive thoughts for a wee or so (it’s better now!) and then I had a stack of small triggers leading up to a total anxiety meltdown, and those take a while to get over.
But turn it around, reason by reason.
is actually all good.
is just how things work, and at least I don’t have to drive the kids to school any more, right?
If I finish this case, I get closer to the act-like-they’re-married Narumitsu I keep hearing about, and also I get to meet Apollo. And others, but I already love Apollo just from pictures and hearing my rainbow talk about him in general terms. Also, I get to find out if my crazy theories about Bridge are at all correct.
The Puritans are losing and every time I fight them, I get better at fighting them, just from the practice. I could tell the very bad intrusive thoughts were dysregulated and I didn’t listen to them. That’s a good trick!
Keep waking up, even when the intrusive thoughts are bad or really bad, y’all. Stay on your meds. Keep going to your therapy. And for heckin’ fishsticks’ sake, keep playing Ace Attorney.
