~ ooc ~
So I guess I've held off on making this post for a while. Don't worry! This is good news X . x NOT BAD! Before some of you go running to the hills screaming 'Voids gloomy again!' Heh!
I just wanted to, well, say thank you. To the people who have stuck with me. I know I've barely moved in like, what...3 or 4 months maybe? A little bit off and on? Well, in terms of serious roleplay and structured threads! But honestly I've needed that time to get my head together. Shits not been right in my household for a long time and I guess I let it eat away at me more than I cared to admit. I would just slap a smile on, pretend everything was okay and filter out any negative feelings. A lot of times I even thought about just giving up on tumblr, Aqua, life altogether. Heh, silly huh? With my old friends I just felt like a unwanted relic, meeting new people was scary since I was in a bad way - not myself, I let people that were my friends or that I wanted to be friends with just drift away, I couldn't think of anything positive either. So, I just suffered in silence. To be corny, I guess I let the darkness win for a while.
But it's no longer the case now. I've met people, and again excuse me for being corny, that were a light in the darkness. People who listened. Now before people rip my head off, I COULD have said something on here and maybe gotten some help with it but I chose not to. Why? Well because I thought people had enough on their plates. I didn't want to add to that. Besides, I'm used to doing all the fixing and never being fixed when it comes to people! So I just stayed away. But these people, they helped me. Fixed me. Helped me pick some of the pieces up and put them back into place - hell I'm far from being fine but I'm back to being alright. I managed to trust in people again, shake this fear of making friends. And to know there were people nearby that cared!
Being targeted by those fuckwades as well was actually beneficial. It gave me an outlet to get rid of some of this anger I had built up, a chance to just be nasty to some very nasty people! Some might frown on that - but then to those people I'll ask, why defend people like that? Anon hate is just pathetic. If it was one of your friends you should talk to them, not the people that take that hatred and turn it right back round on them. Far as in concerned if you come into my inbox, and you act hostile, well expect sarcasm or to have it thrown back at ya!
Maybe I'm just talking to a brick wall right now. Maybe I'll even lose a couple of followers by posting this. Hell! Maybe a few people will even jump into my inbox and throw some hate my way, because that's just how some people are. And you know what?
I'm fine with that.
Because there's so much more left to live for. :) It's nice to finally be back.