How does Mars feel about being special little Lemur Dragon?
The thing is, she doesn’t know she’s special.
Mars, in her whole life, has only ever encountered another LemurDragon, which is Tidal. Tidal, much like Mars, has unique abilities because he as well has absorbed the paradox and made it his own, but at the same time is not like Mars because he doesn’t feel the urge to jump in different dimensions like she does.
Mars’ jumping is heavily influenced in this, because she can stay for years in the same dimension (see: five years in KH, three-five years in FFVII) before she feels a tug in her chest and she has to jump. She wants to ignore the feeling, but it gets stronger and stronger to the point that she’ll go crazy if she doesn’t. It’s like an itch, but instead of ignoring it to feel better, you have to scratch it otherwise it will get itchier and itchier to the point of making you want to rip your skin off.
What’s worse for her is that she doesn’t know why she has the tug. She asked Tidal, and he never felt it. She feels it, and it drives her to jump even when she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to jump! But she feels the need to. She has no idea why she feels it, but every few months / years she feels it again, and she has to leave all she knows for something new and unknown.
And she always ends up jumping in dimensions where the world / events are so fucked over that she wants to cry. She often gets the rough end of the deal, and if she doesn’t she has to witness her friends getting injured or hell, killed (rifp Aerith, you will be missed).
She knows she has special powers for some reason she doesn’t know - hell, she doesn’t even know about the paradox. She assumes every universe is like the one she lives in, considering that she can’t leave it and see if the others are different, and she thinks all other LemurDragons have special, unique abilities like Tidal and that she was just lucky enough to be born with more.
It’s actually Aerith that gives her the doubt that, maybe, her reason for jumping in different dimensions isn’t to see different worlds, but to help save those worlds. And by that time, she starts realizing that maybe, just maybe, she’s different. She’s “privileged” in a way.
And, in all honesty, she hates it.
She knew she wasn’t meant for the leading role after travelling with Lysander, but she never considered the possibility of having a role higher than sidekick. The knowledge sickens her, because it’s a responsibility she never asked for and doesn’t want.
But she still tries her hardest to fulfill her role, which is what breaks her the most when things don’t go the way she thinks they should.