⟅ ⚜ Being held down, unable to breathe– thrashing as hard as he could, but to no avail his struggles proved to be futile.
{ Groans and turns over.}
Adam tries opening his eyes, but they feel heavy… As if weighed down by lead. Finally– he managing to throw his hand, in slow motion towards his face– breaking the barrier that kept him from seeing. Mon Dieu.
Hans? Staring up. Finding that the person responsible for holding him down, has been his lover . Clasping their hand a little too hard for comfort– Immediately releasing his grip on the other prince, Adam smiles up at Hans who still has him pinned. The room feeling somewhat more airy, and bright than usual. Tilting his head curiously, what was the other up to? ❝ Is there…. Something you want?❞ Running his foot against the back of the other’s calf, he takes in the feeling of having their body so tightly pressed against his. A little more dominating then usual, but Adam wouldn’t mind this slight change. Kinda liking it, he took in a breath–allowing the scent of the other to captivate and hold him. Making it obvious where Hans should take this activity–
{ ❝ J’taime–uhh❞ Tossing back, the words dropping with a heavy breath. }
Remaining there, looking over Adam. Hans’ expression much little less happy. It isn’t the loving glance that Adam tends to find in those emerald hues— something is very off. The other looks almost angry, but not quite. There is something that sends chills through the french prince, something more … dangerous. Not so much a thrill that arouses, rather making Adam worry. ❝ What is it? Hans, what’s-❞
❝ Shut up❞ A harsh interjection that suddenly puts Adam in a state of concern. Shut up? What have I done to deserve such resentment? But Hans wouldn’t let go, wouldn’t let him speak– The grip just hardening around his wrists. Making the french prince wince.
❝ Ah!!– That hurts, If this is some weird fantasy you’re wanting to play… I’m sorry I don’t think I really prefer—❞
❝ You killed my family–❞ Eyes widen, looking up at the other. Confused– terrified of what Hans could mean, though somehow Adam thinks about what the other is saying and suddenly begins to have these memories. How… Could… I? The images of himself– hunting down an entire royal family. Slashing them. The red blood–
{ ❝ I didn’t— NNo… Stop❞ Kicks into the sheet.}
Licking his lips, then looking back up at Hans who now had this sadistic smile on his face. Adam realizes that yes. He did kill Hans’ family. Not knowing how or understanding why—- Oh… Beast? ❝ How– how do you know?❞
❝ Of course. Why do you think I’ve been waiting for a moment like this? I’m going to make you pay…❞. Hans leans in close to Adam’s face, it’s a strange feeling. In the past Hans only comes this close to retrieve a loving kiss or some other tender reason. While this is reason for their close proximity is purely out of anger and revenge. I’m sorry Hans, I didn’t mean to–Really. ❝ Please… Listen– You can hate me❞.– ❝ Oh I already do. That is why I am here to end you–❞
{ Breathing quickens and slows in uneven patterns}
❝ Hans! Please just hear me…❞. Looking up at the other with a desperation in his eyes, Which does absolutely nothing to stop the other. In their hand is Adam’s own ornamental dagger. Pointing down. Threatening him. This can’t be Hans. The last couple years, learning about him, taking him in– not giving a damn about his past, and practically nursing him back to health after his whole family condemned him. Pouring his heart and soul into this man, and now this? Why? Why such hatred? Because Adam killed his family? The family that in turn hated him? Supposing it isn’t still fair, but this… his– ❝ Please… Just listen–❞.
❝– I’ve had enough of your excuses! Your stupid, pathetic excuses! Why can’t you act like everyone and just be normal? You know how perverted you are? To bed another man… You are a sick monster every child fears. You are a monster that killed my family, and I am going to be the hero and stop you from doing anymore…❞ This felt self righteous and due to thesudden memories flooding back of Adam’s recent massacring, because how convenient is a dream if it cannot summon artificial memories? It only seemed right. Killing him won’t bring Hans family back, but killing him would stop him from hurting anymore people. Triumphed, the french prince looks up at his lover. Gleaming of the dagger’s edge reflecting off the sun in the room. The bright lights almost a tease to what theme this way. Adam lay there with a bare chest, defenseless to the other’s advances– Even as Hans sat up to aim, and plunge the blade in, the prince let his arms lay flat. Outstretched in each direction as if it might be a crucifixion. This is fine. Let it happen. If Hans hates me what even is the point in all of this? Looking up at the other, blue eyes watched the maddened green ones–
{ Beginning to shiver–Tossing over to his other side. Choking up.}
Closing his eyes, he can’t stand the pain of not spending his life with the other. Being loathed by your most loved is worse than death itself. Fine. Oh kill me. Please, if that is how you feel. Just get it over with. ❝ Do it❞.
❝ Do what, Adam?❞ A rasped voice replies. Opening eyes, to find that instead of Hans pinning him, he is pinning Hans. Looking into the other’s terrified, confused green eyes. Taken aback by what just happened, swearing it was the other way. Looking at Hans’ Adam begins to relax a little– wondering if maybe he was dreaming… But at the corner of Hans’ lip something begins to take shape. Staring at it for a second, a bead of red falls down the other prince’s chin… Down his neck. Furrowing his brows, Adam picks it up with his finger, giving a taste– blood.
What in the hell… ???❝ Hans?❞
❝ Adam?❞ Following the other’s expression still bewildered and frightened, the direction of their eyes shifts down to their chest. To which Adam follows, looking down at his other occupied hand. ❝ Oh… mon… amour? ❞ The dagger was thrusted deep into the other prince’s chest, Adam’s hand on the hilt– holding it in. Clearly he was the one killing the other, having had the illusion that he was being threatened. An illusion.
Swallowing roughly, Adam looked back up into those eyes. Looking betrayed, wondering why he did this… ❝ I don’t know– Hans I’m… a Monster– no you are to kill me not… Not this. Hans no… Hans...❞
Not sure to pull the dagger for fear of the other bleeding out, but the damage was already done. what could be done? What have I done!? Rushing to grasp the back of Hans’ head and upper body- Adam pulls the other close to him. ❝ I’m sorry… Oh my god– Hans, no this wasn’t… I’m so sorry— I knew this … I should’ve just let you be here with…. ❞
Tears begin to take up his eyes, and his throat as he chokes up. The largest lump.
Did i just kill him? ❝ Hans— No… I love you… I can’t be here without you. I didn’t mean–❞
Rocking back and forth the other in his arms. ❝ It’s okay, Adam. I love you—❞ No. No Don’t forgive me you fool! Hate me! AT least hate me for this!!!
{Stops breathing– begins to tremble more roughly}
❝ No… Stay with me. Please. I’ll… get you help– I … I will sell the rest of my soul for you. No… Hans. Don’t do this.❞ This can’t be happening! How could this happen?? ❝ I’m sorry, Adam. We won’t be having breakfast together…❞
Heart is full of dark, anger and hatred towards himself– No… ❝ HANS!❞
Beginning to rock himself, his lover– bleeding through his fingers, darkening the sheets in this black, and red liquid. Feeling the other co limp, sends Adam into a tailspin of a breakdown. His whole mind, everything– literally losing grasp on reality, and thought. Snapping in sanity–he sobs through clenched teeth. Blaming himself for everything. ❝ HANS! ❞
Throwing himself up into a sitting position. Sweat trickled down the side of his face as he shook and gasped for air. Heart thudding heavily in his ears as oxygen floods back into his body, making his brain drag– Still taken by that… Not really sure if this was still the dream. Looking around the bed, kicking the sheets back, expecting to be soaked in that black-crimson. There is blood marks about, which pushes him over the edge that this may have happened.
Not wanting to dare look at the body beside him, incase they don’t wake up for breakfast. Incase it is true. Tears begin to leave his eyes, as the sobs from before are still echoing through him like tidal waves. Dry heaving– he clutches himself with his arms, feeling sick.
Digging into his own skin with partially changed fingernails–❝ Hans…. Hans… I love you– I love you… I’m so sorry… I love you ❞ Repeating over and over. It appears to have been nothing but a traumatic nightmare. Leaving Adam shaking, and rocking back and forth. Is it over??