Are my hands already tired
from holding
the thread that ties us together?
I don’t know.
I only know I’m still holding it.
Callouses have formed.
Wounds too.
Drop by drop,
it bleeds.
I feel nothing now—
only this:
I don’t want
to let it go.
Not yet.
seen from South Korea
seen from France

seen from Japan
seen from China
seen from China

seen from Australia
seen from China

seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Australia

seen from Mexico
seen from China
seen from South Korea

seen from Australia
seen from China

seen from Australia
Are my hands already tired
from holding
the thread that ties us together?
I don’t know.
I only know I’m still holding it.
Callouses have formed.
Wounds too.
Drop by drop,
it bleeds.
I feel nothing now—
only this:
I don’t want
to let it go.
Not yet.
I fucking miss you.
Especially now — the weekend —
when we’d lie still,
absorbed in our little world,
parallel,
yet interwoven.
Time would loosen its grip,
afternoon drifting into night,
until sleep found us
with you pulling me closer,
our breathing learning
the same rhythm.
If you ever find your way back to me,
I won’t hold anything against you.
I will receive you as you are,
nothing changed, nothing concealed—
The way the evening sky gathers the bruised light of the city,
quietly, without judgment,
and without ever asking it to be anything else.
I don’t know how to fill the waking hours.
They arrive without instruction.
Morning asks for movement,
for purpose,
but all I have is breath
and the careful work of not breaking.
So I gather myself slowly—
a cup of water,
a song to listen,
a room left quiet,
the light learning how to enter.
Time brings no comfort.
It only watches.
It keeps moving even when I don’t,
even when I am busy stitching myself together
with habits that look like strength.
Some hours I wait for nothing,
just the feeling that I am still here,
still intact enough
to be seen without explanation.
I spend the day holding everything in place,
balancing loss with routine,
calling survival a shape I can live inside.
And when night finally softens the edges,
I let go of the performance.
I am not okay—
but I am still holding,
and for now,
that has to be enough.
It has to be.
It’s hard to grasp what passed between us,
yet it lingers, resonating deep within my soul.
Some days, grief rises like relentless waves,
crashing over me, pulling at my breath.
Still, I choose to move forward—
to exist quietly, to be present,
to hold myself with gentle care.
And always know—
wherever you wander,
whatever you carry,
if the weight ever grows too heavy,
there is an arm, unwavering,
ready to reach for you.
I loved you still, in quiet ways—
and I carry care for you like a soft ache.
Yet I keep moving,
trusting the path that calls me forward.
And if one day you find your way to where I am—
not hurried, not afraid—
I believe what meets us there
will be something kind,
something worth waiting for.
I have no strength left to chase,
no words to pull you close,
yet here I stand,
rooted in the silence of your absence.
My heart is a quiet storm,
catching up to the truth
my mind has known
for far too long.
I wait—not in hope,
not in demand,
but in the stubborn ache
of a soul refusing to disappear.
I breathe through the weight,
I honor the hurt,
I cradle myself
in the space where love lingers
but does not command.
I am here.
I am waiting.
I am whole,
even in the stillness
where you may never come.