📰 GHOST CITY NEWSPAPER SPECIAL EDITION
EXCLUSIVE: THE FOUR CALAMITIES SIT DOWN FOR AN INTERVIEW
(No one knows how we survived this.)
Night Touring Green Lantern
Moderator: trembling unpaid intern.
Opening Question: How do you feel about your public image?
Green Ghost: ICONIC. MISUNDERSTOOD. GOURMET.
Ship-Sinking Black Water: ......
White-Clothed Calamity,smiles: I don’t concern myself with public opinion. (He absolutely does)
Question 2: Are the Four Calamities friends?
Green Ghost: ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS ANCESTOR BARELY TOLERATES THEM. THEY MAKE ME GAG
Ship-Sinking Black Water: He's loud. (He and Chengzhu are absolutely diaper buddies)
White-Clothed Calamity: We share… interests. (Sources confirm that he is the reason other calamities are here in the first place)
Chengzhu: Im only here because Dianxia said socializing is healthy.
Entire room silent. Green Ghost gags dramatically.
Question 3: Thoughts on Valentine's Day? Humans giving hearts away for free?
Green Ghost: DISGUSTING. Ruining the market. No artistry.
Ship-Sinking Black Water: Wasteful.
White-Clothed Calamity: They always give their hearts away. That’s the problem.
Chengzhu: If they're giving them away, they weren't worth much. (Rumour has it that paradise manor is filled with hearts that Chengzhu bought for dianxia)
Question 4: Describe your ideal evening.
Green Ghost: Fine dining. Screaming ambience. Maybe arson.
Ship-Sinking Black Water: Silence.
White-Clothed Calamity: Watching things unfold exactly as planned.
(Nobody asks what that means.)
Chengzhu: Walking with Dianxia.
Green Ghost collapses onto table, "OH MY GOD WE GET IT."
Question 5: Who is the most terrifying among you?
Green Ghost: …Fine. Not me.
Ship-Sinking Black Water: ...Depends.
White-Clothed Calamity: Fear is subjective.
Chengzhu: I wouldn't say it's me. You can ask dianxia too. (He is saying this because dianxia will be reading this interview once published. We can see through you Chengzhu)
Lightning Round : Who would win in a fight?
Ship-Sinking Black Water: …No.
White-Clothed Calamity: Depends on the rules.
The lamps explode. (Chengzhu we are low on budget. Please be considerate)
Who spends the most money?
All three simultaneously look at Chengzhu.
Chengzhu: It's called investment.
Paradise Manor adds two more floors instantly.
Who is banned from Heaven the most?
Heaven releases statement: Yes.
Final Question: Any message for Ghost City readers?
Green Ghost: COME TO MY RESTAURANT.
Health inspectors faint in the distance.
Ship-Sinking Black Water: …Stay out of the ocean.
White-Clothed Calamity: Be careful what you worship.
Ghost City collectively sits up straighter.
Interview ends early because Dianxia is apparently nearby and Chengzhu has priorities.
This marks the end of interview! Subscribe Ghost City Newspaper for exclusive updates and interviews and lives!
