( @foursvmbols || with IAN ! )
Ian's not sure if he's had too much to drink or if perhaps he's just seeing things, or maybe some crude amalgamation of the two, but he's at least fifty percent sure he can't possibly be watching someone flirt with an actual plant a few tables over from where he stands. He's been watching the young man for a few minutes now, the twinkle in his eye when he's looking at the potted cactus, of all things. After the fourth time the other damn near kisses the plant, Ian gives up and approaches the young man, gingerly tapping him on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, sir. I'm glad to see you're having a good time, but if I may, can I ask why you're flirting with a ... cactus?"













