Oct 25, 2021
missing my fp so much I’m going back and forth between sobbing uncontrollably and feeling numb then back to sobbing and shaking ugh
seen from T1
seen from South Africa
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Greece
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from T1
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from Italy
seen from China
missing my fp so much I’m going back and forth between sobbing uncontrollably and feeling numb then back to sobbing and shaking ugh
that moment when you can feel your anxiety as you exhale, when you’re literally breathing out pain as you imagine your fp replacing you with someone else. when you know you’re just being paranoid and it isn’t going to happen but the fear is leaking out of your every orifice
Touch my face.
Promise me I'm the one above all.
Tell me that no one else could replace me.
I beg you to put me above all.
I'll be a good girl.
I'll be kind.
I'll be better.
Please Please Please Please Please.
Please don't replace me.
I am really bad at handling my FP caring about people other than me. But I want to be better. And part of that is opening myself to others. He deserves to have other people in his life and so do I.
i could have had my happy ending with him
he could have been mine
he was mine
but i ruined it because of my own trauma. now he’s with someone else and I’m completely broken beyond repair. missing him and what we were is constant
extremely sexy of my brain to imagine mildly plausible scenarios where my current fp does the same thing my ex-fp did, but with extra “fucking somebody else” this time around lol
I'm looking at servers to see if anyone is thinking of me, and the drop I get when no one has sometimes is defeating.
Do you know when? You desperately need some attention from ur fp to survive the day ? So u go see them and you only have like 2 hrs w them and they start not paying attention to you? ok so do u also know the painful, overwhelming twists from “omg i need attention pls— cant ask for it what if he hates me and leaves me—he hates me—- im manipulative stop- he hates me- need attention it hurts— Stare so hard dont think dont feel— oh it hurts— why doesnt he know im in pain he HATES me” but like you intellectually know its irrational and its “omg he’ll leave me for that too” n time goes tickticktick and
“Hey are you okay? You look sad “
“Yeah!! :))”