I hate you so much. I hate you so fucking much I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much I hate you. You piece of fucking shit. I lost almost fourteen years of my life to your fucking bullshit. I can’t fucking stand you. I never fucking could. But no matter how much I fucking hate you, you’re my best friend. I guess it makes sense. Keep your friend closer and your enemies fucking closer. You know, I never really understood what I was to you. I was a nuisance who just kept showing up, I stole the person you love, I fucked you so many times, I slept over, I cuddled, you bought me things when I needed them, you kept in touch when I didn’t want anyone else to. Everything was you.
And yet, this still isn’t your fucking fault so don’t you fucking do anything stupid you piece of shit. You have Ren to look after, because the most torn up person---Sita, you, Chris and Ren---is going to be Ren. Ren is the one, for both of us, the one who was everything, and the one who kept us together even when he wasn’t here. Ren is the one person that I actually care about leaving like burning. As much as I love Sita, as much as I consider her my wife, Sita’s strong enough without me. As strong as I know Ren is, this will kill him as much as it literally kills me. Haha. I hope that you to get married. I hope you have kids. I hope you don’t name them after me. And I hope you survive. I’ve been messed up in the head for too long, I was bored messed up and I don’t think I can stay messed up anymore.
Still, you were always there when I needed you. As much as you hated me. As much as I pretended to hate you. You are a part of me. This isn’t where I confess my fucking love to you or anything you piece of shit. Because as desperate as I was to cling on to you, it was because I didn’t want to lose another person I cared about. But you don’t feel my heart. You don’t understand it, because I got so good at hiding it. I got good at tricking myself. And I thought being in love with you would keep you with me. But, it obviously didn’t because I got tossed aside. This is me tossing you aside. I’m throwing you away and you’ll never get me back. I hope you’re finally happy. You know, without me. With Ren. There are so many things I want to tell you, but I’m not going to bother, because just like all of my preaching its going on deaf ears.
Or maybe you’d finally want to hear it in my suicide note. Every fucking word you ignored finally being the last ones you’ll ever hear. Or, well, read. I hope you forget my voice. My eyes. The way I made you feel in bed. I hope you forget my feelings, my life. I hope you forget me. I’d rather not be remembered by someone I couldn’t stand in the living. But I guess you’d have to. The one person I want to never forget me is your boyfriend. The one person who means the world to me, who never casted me aside is the person who loves you. And I’m happy, because I fucking told you, Ren loves you, you fucking dumbass. But, then again. Who knows. You might have given up after the first paragraph. Or maybe Ren’s crying reading his letter and you go curious about yours. Maybe you’ll keep this letter forever to remember me. Maybe you’ll burn it right away; maybe you don’t even care at all. But I thought I owed it to Ren. Because someone needs to know. I did this because I’m done. I didn’t do this because of anyone but me and I feel like you’re the only person who’d understand that. As much as you hate me, you’re the one who gets me.
So, good bye my friend. Take care.
I want you to take my stuff and donate whatever to charity
Let anyone who wants to keep anything keep it.
Send my leather jacket back to Parker in New Orleans, you remember him right?
Tell Ren I loved him every day whenever he starts breaking down
fraudulentwings replied to your post:[ Shoves some apology gift and note at before storming off. ]
"…Maybe."
Perfectly impassive face slips on, from years of practice. "Hmm? Who says I need you to be my friend? I have new friends now." No he was kidding, but he was still upset about being dumped.
"You’re really good at this…" Raphael muttered softly as he clenched the sheets by his side. Calum snorted softly trailing light kisses up his chest and pressing a soft kiss on his lips before stretching as he rolled onto his best friend’s left side.
"I would be considering." Calum mumbled softly as he closed his eyes and let his arm stretch and slap Raphael in the face. Hearing a angry grumble, the angel made a point of jabbing Calum in the side, causing the hybrid to jump at one of his weak points and make a whining sound.
"You’re ruining it." Raphael muttered as he quietly tried to enjoy the afterglow of sex, but Calum stopped appreciating that a long time ago. Instead he picked up the habit of smoking a cigarette from an ex-lover who he spent too many nights sleeping with but not enough actually acquainting himself with. Then again, most of those witches tended to be more to themselves, it didn’t matter the sex was good enough. Although he did quit smoking not to long ago, it didn’t work well with his vocal cords and he did enjoy singing still. ”I guess being a whore is good for something.”
Again, Calum snorted and made a point of dragging his fingers slowly over the angel’s weak spots, causing the other to shudder and glare. “At least I get some. You sure you weren’t a virgin before we had sex?” Which, again caused the angel to jab Calum, just slightly more painfully. “You’re a fucking caffler you know” he said letting his Irish accent flow out in a low heavy tone. Raphael looked at him and raised an eyebrow before grabbing Calum’s shoulders and rolling on top of him placing rather angry hot kisses from his lips to his navel.
Calum rolled his eyes and bit back a sigh. “I always knew you’d be demanding in bed.” He commented lightly causing Raphael to nip rather harshly at Calum’s hip, causing the taller man to jump lightly. “And still an asshole.”
