#frayns

[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

Had a good Catch-Up with Beer Pal.

...I never remember what I dubbed her on here. Anyway, we drank beer and ate cheese and pickles and bread and caught up on the last 4-5 eventful months. Again, I feel so lucky to know her. Still anxious-but-hopeful about the new apartment prospect. Now I'm mostly worried that my 50 bucks is going to disappear into the cute Irish realtor guy's pocket, and I'll have just been a sucker.

[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

Had a good Catch-Up with Beer Pal.

...I never remember what I dubbed her on here. Anyway, we drank beer and ate cheese and pickles and bread and caught up on the last 4-5 eventful months. Again, I feel so lucky to know her. Still anxious-but-hopeful about the new apartment prospect. Now I'm mostly worried that my 50 bucks is going to disappear into the cute Irish realtor guy's pocket, and I'll have just been a sucker.

[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

Last Night

I went out for beers and a catch-up with a dear friend I hadn’t seen in a long time, except for the brief chat we had at D’s birthday thing a few weeks ago.

We went to a beer garden and hoisted some steins and shared a big pretzel and a lot of news. Topics--in no particular order--included (but were not limited to):

Aging; Ours & Others’

Grad School/Dissertations

Professional Aspirations & Plans

Parents; the Maintenance of

Dating Misadventures; Hers

Emotional Shitshows; Mine

Bodies Are Jerks; or How She Almost Died from Fibroid Surgery

Politics; American & International

Money & Related Headaches

Mutual Friends

Good Teevee & Music

It was the best. Laughs and tears and jokes and sympathy and all of it. Even though some of it was a bit harrowing (for me) and surprising (for her), she was a real friend.

It was a variation of the lunch I had with another dear friend last Friday: casual catch up and news-swapping and then “OH HAY SO D IS LEAVING I GUESS?” and then a lot of gif-worthy reactions and soothing noises.

I’m lucky.

[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

Stuff I Meant to Post About

I’m having my sad desk lunch, but at least it’s sort of quiet today, and I’ve gotten some things done.

But to catch up all of you who have been losing sleep, waiting for the stupid details of my stupid life (which I’m really writing about for my own benefit, let’s be real), look after the cut...

Wednesday was D’s 42nd birthday. Originally, he wanted to have a big karaoke jam for everyone this weekend, when his gf would be in town, but then all that dramz with her wanting  me to be wrapped up in their relationship went down a couple weeks ago, so D pivoted and we just had friends dinner at a place with decent food but nuclear margaritas.

I made and brought a cake, and that was really the only birthday-y thing about it. Nonetheless, it was really lovely. There were maybe a dozen people there from different times and places in my life, most of whom are very dear to me (some were D’s animation friends who I’m sure are great, I just don’t know them well), but who I haven’t seen much of lately, because they live in BK, and because my job is soul-sucking, and because my brain has been shit the last couple months so I’ve been self-isolating, and because NY is just hard that way.

Anyway, it was really great to touch base with people, a couple of whom I’ve known since my first big-girl job in Washington DC more than 15 years ago. One in particular, T, who recently learned about both my brain bats and my sweetheart, has been nothing but supportive and kind and sharing about his own experiences . Well, sorta. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, but he’s been with his partner R for as long as I’ve known him (2001), and they’ve wrangled with open relationship stuff over time. But the depression and job horror things were also things we hadn’t talked much about before. 

I got to sit right next to my friend Jen, who I’ve known since the beginning of grad school here in NY, though she was upstairs in the Art History department. We used to get together every couple months for drinks and a good catch-up, but after moving to Harlem, that diminished. We used to live just over a mile away from each other, on opposite sides of Prospect Park, and I don’t think I realized how much I missed her. Even though I wouldn’t think to count her among my very closest friends, there’s this very specific, important dynamic. We’ve just set a date to get back on track with the drink-and-dish at the end of the month. 

And then there was a low-key fence-mending. A--who is a brilliant author/essayist/storyteller, and cook/hostess, and generally an all-around intimidatingly amazing (and at times amazingly intimidating) human being--and I had a bit of a falling out about, of all stupid things, pussy hats, back around the the time of the Women’s March. I’d been avoiding her and was actually nervous about her attendance on Wednesday. I’ve always gotten along famously with her husband, K, a scary-smart medievalist who is also completely daffy, but there’s often been a distance with A. (I wonder if it’s because we have similar vulnerabilities and defense mechanisms?) Anyway, I asked about her latest book project, and it turned into really nice conversation that kinda melted the awkwardness a bit. Bygones, and all that.

Lastly, I made plans to go dancing with another friend, R (not T’s partner) and his BFF G. It might turn into a fiasco because I am so fucking old now, but still.   I went home thinking about how lucky I am to know the people that I know, and that maybe it’s okay to not hide from them.

Of course, I had two of those nuclear margaritas, which probably contributed to my generally inflated sense of well-being, but it was good. It felt good.

[lettersfromneverland]

One blissful summer. ♡♡ #frayns #throwback

[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

I was right. Once Dear Friend and Manpanion arrived, I was fine. Except for the occasional nose-blow. We ate and drank a lot, and laughed, and played cards like the olds we are, and it was wonderful. And now I'm pleasantly drunk, and D is taking a first whack at the many many dishes, and although I'm still a Sicky, I don't feel half as horrible at midnight as I did at 6 pm. Time for go to sleep.

[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

Dinner Party?

I'm looking forward to seeing Dear Friend and Manpanion; it's been a couple of months, and we've all been busy with travel and family time, so there's tons to catch up on.

The food is almost all ready (@tehgreyfox: the galette is in the oven; will report on issues in a different post), lots of water is chilled, and the table is set.

HOWEVER, my head is throbbing, my nose is running and my throat is itchy, and I know I'm irritable. I took some OTCs, but they don't seem to be doing much.

I'm hopeful that I'll soon be distracted by our company and all the food, but right now, all I can focus on is the sinus pressure that is making my teeth ache.