#fred koehler

[aces-reviews]

DEATH RACE 2

Ladies and Gentlemen, the ass-kicking of a lifetime has arrived!!

We here at Ace’s Reviews are an opinionated bunch, but one thing we all agree on: Death Race 2 is the best movie in the series. Fight us. It’s Ace’s Reciews, broadcasting live from Terminal Island! The carnage is about to begin!!

Death Race 2 is a prequel to the Jason Statham film, giving us the origins of the Death Race and Frankenstein. There’s cars and explosions and your ass on a plate. So why is this film so much better than Death Race? A few reasons, really. For one, it doesn’t take itself quite so seriously. It embraces the ridiculous awesomeness. The main reason it’s so much better, though? The cast, of course.

“Seriously, we kick so much ass.”—all these people, probably

Look at that lineup!! We have to take it in order though.

First up is Luke Goss. Luke Goss has made a name for himself being one of those shaven-headed ass-kickers that you put in action movies. He’s also pals with Guillermo Del Toro, having played Nomak in Blade 2 and Nuada in Hellboy 2.

“I do a lot of 2’s for being number one.”—Luke Goss, probably

Here’s the thing. Some people might call him a poor man’s Statham, but I’m gonna say it’s the other way around. Luke Goss can act, and act well. Yes, he can kick your face clean off of your body, but he can also emote. Jason Statham is always Jason Statham. Luke Goss is Nomak, Nuada, and Carl Lucas.

He’s sent to Terminal Island because reasons, and there he meets the best supporting cast on earth.

First, there’s Lists.

“Lists is a badass, yo.”—Danny Trejo, definitely.

Remember last time, we talked about Lists and how important he is? Lists is the only character who’s in all four modern Death Race movies. He delivers exposition and is a deadly cinnamon bun. Seriously, Lists has blood on his name.

“It’s not a question of if I’ll end you, it’s when and how.”—Lists, absofuckinglutely

Oh, right, did you see the earlier pic? With Danny Trejo? That’s right, the D-Man is here to fix cars and kick ass, and he’s all out of cars, kick, and ass!! Trejo’s Goldberg is the best dude ever, and we love him so.

“Excuse me, would you like to make impossibly perfect babies?”—Luke Goss, lovestruck

Tanit Phoenix rounds out the main cast, and I’m just gonna say it: she’s probably the most beautiful woman ever put on film. She plays Katrina, the Navigator.

The supporting cast features Ving Rhames and Lauren Cohen as the executives in charge of Death Race...

“I know, it’s direct to video. Doesn’t matter. It’s the best one.”—Ving Rhames, as evidenced by his presence

...and Sean Motherfucking Bean.

Do I die? TELL ME DAMMIT

What makes this stellar cast work is one simple thing: chemistry. All of these folks work SO DAMN WELL together, a honed machine of radness. And you can tell that they’re having the time of their lives!! They’re having a ball! Honestly, if you told me that Luke Goss and Tanit Phoenix were a real life couple, I’d believe it.

Throw Trejo in there too, I don’t care

There’s a pretty simple plot involved that we won’t spoil here—watch the movie!! Like I said, this one is better than Death Race 1, even though the budget is smaller. A great cast, great action, and impossible amounts of fun make this our favorite entry into the Death Race canon. This one is so good, in fact, that it spawned its own sequel—Death Race 3: Inferno. Which we’ll be covering tomorrow, coincidentally!!

Join us here tomorrow for the final leg of the Death Race, live from Terminal Island!!

[victimlessrhyme]

Pirasaurs! Is Now Available for Pre-Order

My next book - Pirasaurs! is now available for pre-order everywhere books are sold!

PIRASAURS! is now available for pre-order wherever books are sold! Indiebound             Barnes & Noble              Amazon They’re pirates. They’re dinosaurs? They’re Pirasaurs! RAWRGH! We’re Pirasaurs! We’re Pirasaurs! We rule the open seas! We’ll cannon-blast you to the past! We do just what we please! Meet the Pirasaurs, a ragtag team of seasoned pirate dinosaurs looking for adventure and…

View On WordPress

[superfredd-blog]

You Wrote a Book! Yay! Now What?

Whew! You didn't know you had it in you. But you did it. You worked diligently. You persisted. You ignored the concerned looks and questions from your friends and loved ones. You hid yourself in the back room of your house or the quiet corner of a coffee shop for months and months. And now you have in your hands a beautiful baby book. It's perfect. (And nobody better tell you different.) First of all; congratulations. You've made it farther than most. Take a deep breath. Get cleaned up. Take yourself to dinner. Actually, take someone else to dinner. You need human interaction and that someone else probably needs reassurance that you haven't forgotten about their existence. Have a drink or two. Put it on my tab. Forget about the book for a few nights. Feel better? Great! Now what? Take another deep breath. Now you have to decide if you want to know whether or not your baby book is ugly. If all you want is praise, have your friends read it. Have your mom read it. Beg an old English professor to skim it over. But here's the thing. Everyone who cares about your feelings would rather lie to your face than tell you that your book sucks. You worked long and hard on your baby book and your loved ones don't want you to be crushed. But you're not like that at all. You really, really want to know the truth. Because you want to grow as an artist. You want to improve your craft. You want to be a success story. Okay. Keep reading. But I warn you that this is where the warm fuzzies stop. With a very few exceptions, businesses exist to make profits. And the publishing industry is most definitely filled with for-profit businesses. Those businesses happen to sell, among other things, books. And books, like any mass-produced commodity, need distribution channels, which include bookstores, online retailers, E-readers like Kindle, or you could even try to distribute it yourself via a pallet of self-published books in your garage. Assuming you want the benefits of a massive distribution network, you need to arrange to have your baby book distributed by some sort of publisher. And traditional publishers have some of the strongest relationships with booksellers across the world, ties to the film and television industry, and lots of really smart, caring people (editors, designers, publicists and more) who can help you get your baby book into the hands of hungry readers. Publishers want to publish books that will sell well. Literary agents want to represent books that will sell well. If your baby book is really terrible (i.e. won't sell), the industry will happily ignore your presence. Sad but true. But, if you're confident in your baby book, let's go find that traditional publisher to distribute it. So, step one. Get a list of literary agents or editors for major publishers and visit each of them at their offices. Make sure to arrive unannounced and try to schmooze your way past security so you can monopolize the time of anyone that makes eye contact with you. If you can't get past security, look up editors' photos online and wait outside the building till they go out to lunch. Then perform an impromptu theatrical reading of your manuscript as they walk by. Its a sure-fire way to catch their attention. Unfortunately this kind of behavior is sometimes called 'stalking' and also attracts FBI agents. So on second thought, don't do any of that. The tried and true way of finding out if a publisher has an interest in publishing (distributing) your book is by querying them directly or querying through a literary agent. There's a ton of information out there about how to query, who to query, etc.; and I'll let you look that up on your own. The problem with the querying process, especially for newbies, is that you're not going to get much feedback unless its brilliant. They're not going to tell you if your baby book is hideous; they're just going to send a form rejection letter. If you're brand new and serious about becoming a published author, a great first step would be to find a critique group. There are thousands of online and in-person critique groups around the world and there will certainly be one focussed on the genre that you write. Chances are that your critique group will teach you that you have some great writing strengths, but even more opportunities to grow. I promise all of my critique partners to be their "frienemy," and to give them honest feedback intended to help them achieve their goals. I expect the same from them. We've all become partners in each others' success, and the longer I stick with them the more relevant their feedback becomes. My writing gets better and better because of their criticism. And sometimes they tell me a manuscript is good enough or "ready" to start looking for a publisher. I am now reasonably confident that my baby book is not ugly, and may in fact be beautiful. Another brilliant place to get started is at a writers conference. If you write for children and young adults, I highly recommend the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators. Never in my life have I met such a friendly group, happy to share ideas and information, and ecstatic to see you succeed. What can you expect from one of these conferences? You're going to listen to a lot of speakers and participate in workshops. Those speakers are going to be published authors, literary agents, and publishing representatives. They're either the people you want to be, or else they're the people you want to meet. You show up to learn and make friends, not to sell. If you corner an agent or editor and start talking their ear off about your baby book, you've probably missed your shot. If you pass them between sessions and casually mention the thing you appreciated most about their keynote, they might engage you in conversation. And then you have a real opportunity to pitch in person. And my favorite part about going to conferences is the chance to sign up for a paid critique. You get to sit down, one-on-one, with either a published author, an agent or an editor; and you get to talk about your baby book! It's what you've been waiting for and it's a total "moment of truth" experience. The person critiquing your manuscript is going to tell you how they see your book fitting in the market and what it might need to find a home with a publisher. In some instances, it could possibly be love at first site, and an agent or editor will take an interest in representing or purchasing the rights to publish your book. I've seen it happen many a time. Unpublished writers graduate to published authors at these conferences. Now here's the hard part. What if you did all that and nobody liked your book? Every published author I know, myself included, has a drawer full of rejection letters and bad critiques. But, if you're serious enough to make the investment and humble enough to take the critique seriously, you will grow. And those who grow, blossom.Those who blossom get picked. The difference between failure and success is a single attempt. There's just no way of knowing if it will be your first attempt or your fiftieth. So don't be upset if your first baby book is an ugly one. Mine was. There was this one-winged angel and a kid that had never been born and a crown hidden in the desert. Yikes. It was bad. But, here's what Betsy Bird writes in the School Library Journal about my eleventh or twelfth manuscript, which debuts from Penguin USA in March 2014: "THIS is how you write a picture book.  It is amazing.  The kid perspective is spot on from start to finish.  Keep tabs on Koehler.  He’s one to watch." Raise your hand if you think I got there without doing everything I mentioned above. It can happen to you. It's hard. But it's worth it if you're serious. So to recap. Take a deep breath. Reward yourself for your hard work. Prepare yourself to find out that your first, second, or third baby book may be ugly. Learn. Grow. Make friends. Repeat the process. And keep making baby books until each one is beautiful. Cheers, -Fred

[damageinthemaking]

Grimm s01e09

Sorry I don't have any movie gifs for you guys, literally all I do right now is watch Grimm. I mean, look how adorable he is!

[subjectivedelight-blog-blog]

But I made friends. And I learned from it. And I sulked. I shelved ten years’ worth of work and started over from scratch. I repeated this pattern again and again at different conferences in different cities until the feedback started getting better and better and I felt like I was getting “close.”

An inspiring post by my friend, Fred Koehler who I wrote about previously just went up on Rob Sanders blog. Fred doesn't just give good advice but he offers it at the point in his budding career that we despirately need to pay more attention to. So many of us have a deep and yearning desire to create something that matters only we don't know how to do it and we feel like our lives will never be clear enough to put the time in. We listen to the lizard brain and become overwhelmed with distraught over our inability to overcome the tide of daily life that prevents us from making that thing. Eventually, we allow ourselves to become bitter and push the blame on everything outside of ourselves in favor of fighting The Man, The Power, traditional publishing, whatever.

It's self destructive and it's why we need to pay more attention to, and celebrate, the people who are making it. We're all surviving this desert together. If you really need water as badly as you say you do, stop crying for it and listen to the people who can teach you how to find it.

[superfredd-blog]

Dear Steven Colbert,

You make this book writing thing look waaay too easy, mister. That's all. (And I was hoping that if I mentioned you in my blog, I might get better google rankings.) Between family life with a pair of toddlers, an almost-full-time job, and a budding career as a writer/illustrator, I have to believe that the best is yet to come.

DAD'S BAD DAY is swimming along, and revisions are headed back to the good folks at Penguin in the very near future. Here's a sneaky peek at one of their suggestions, which was to put Little Gray in his jammers for this scene.

Feel free to drop me a note along the lines of 'go get 'em, tiger' or ' keep on keepin' on!'

[patrickjaneisredjohn]

Jane: I am curious, are there two of you, or is Tommy just an act that you put on?

Thomas: Please. I'm not a mental case. Tommy's an act. A performance.

Jane: That you never turn off?

Thomas: He amuses me. He protects me.