Oh I'm just gonna cry myself through the early morning hours; thinking about how handsome you looked in that photo and how good you probably look right now, cozied up in a dream all night. I will always remember the best of you and you will always remember the worst of me.
I wish you knew just how gentle and pleasant I really am now that everything is such a distance away from right now. Not one thing I complained about; nor one argument we had was ever worth it for me. I can't imagine a good enough reason to risk pushing you away or losing you. But that's now. Hindsight is the only kind of sight I have, you know? It's okay. I can let it go. But that won't stop the remorse or loneliness tonight. I will still cry. I will still wake up and have to take care of myself and my responsibilities (though they are much harder now), on my own. And it will be that way forever. A forever of waking up and immediately mourning the absence of you right next to me. Where you should be. It's not my birthday, it's always going to be yours.