#from comm

[the-system-mailbox]

actually hold up I'm not done yet.

To Daytona.

I hope you never read this, but I need to get this off my chest.

First of all. I don't even remember what I've done to wrong you. I guess that's a tree remembers axe forgets kind of thing but you never gave me any sort of example beyond the "we never went on an actual date" thing.

Second. She wasn't my fault. She never is my fault. I did my damnedest to keep Her away from you all, to keep you out of the crossfire, but you know I can't control Her. You know I have limited ability in what she does. I was simply her vessel to interact with this world.

Third. I miss you. By fucking gods do I miss you, at least being your friend. You may not have been my Bandit from what I remember now and I know in the end we were not good for each other as partners but I miss you.

I think about you every day. Every damn day.

Until next time, whenever that may be.

-Comm

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[the-system-mailbox]

my dearest lady N'kuhana,

it's me again. you know me. you know me well. and I know you well.

you're back again. you're somehow back in my life. as soon as I took down my pantheon's altar I felt your presence full force back in my core. impeccable timing on that, by the way. I spent the better half of that day inspace throwing up your rot.

is it you that's making me spiral into this depressive madness? it might be. it most likely is, actually. I can't even say I want you gone again because that's not entirely true and you know I don't like to lie. I just wish you didn't make me feel so tired. I wish your whole being wasn't, at its very core, opposed to mine. I guess it's not, but, that's a problem I need to unpack myself.

I know you're reading this over my shoulder. I know you can see these words I am typing. I know you want to say something to me, but you're holding yourself back. why?

actually, don't answer that question.

you're still, somehow, at the end of the day, my Lady. gods have weird relationships with each other but you are still my Lady and I don't know how to feel about that.

please, if I can ask anything of you - don't hurt my family. don't hurt my friends. don't get anyone else involved in the crossfire anymore.

yours again, somehow,

Comm

(ps: as soon as i was about to send this, the cicadas outside started screaming full force after being quiet all day. i know those are one of your symbols.)

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[the-system-mailbox]

Dearest Miss, my Lady N'kuhana,

What the FUCK did I do to deserve this??

I've been your plaything for too long. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to be your little toy to spread your corruption and wrath whenever someone even slightly pisses you off. I don't deserve any of this! I'm tired! I'm sick and tired of this!!

And yet I still miss you. And I know you know it too. There, I said it.

I know you're still watching me, watching all of us. I know you still have your hands in all our businesses, and it pisses me off. And on the other hand, I miss your embrace, I miss your security, your comfort. You were ever changing like the tide, always fluid, back and forth with your anger and your actions, but I miss it still. Why?

Please just leave us alone. You are no longer my goddess, you are no longer my daughter, you are no longer mine. I am no longer yours. Leave me be.

No longer yours,

Comm

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