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A good apology isn’t about begging for reassurance. It’s about acknowledging your impact. ‘I’m really sorry for what I said. I see now that it hurt you, and that wasn’t okay.’ This is a great way to apologize instead of something like, ‘I’m sorry I’m such a horrible person and you probably hate me now.'
shipping is great and all, but it's kinda effed to make the events in the recent chapter revolve around dazai x chuuya, like there's so much from the chapter that could be talked about, but no, let's just make this about shipping
In the middle of conflict, it’s easy to slip into a mindset of me versus you. The goal can become proving you’re right, winning the argument, or making the conversation entirely about your own hurt while dismissing theirs. But healthy conflict isn’t about determining whose pain matters more. It’s about understanding each other, taking accountability where needed, and working together to repair the relationship. When you fight to win, you often both end up losing because the relationship takes the damage.
At the core, communication struggles in BPD aren’t about being manipulative or dramatic. They are about longing. Longing to be heard, longing to be loved without conditions, longing to not feel like too much.
One of the first times I tried an I-statement, it came out like: ‘I feel like you’re being a jerk when you ignore me.’ Which… is not the spirit of the exercise.
Learning to pause and ask, ‘Did I actually do something hurtful here, or am I apologizing for existing?’ can help save your apologies for when they matter.
You don’t have to love yourself perfectly to be worthy of love from others.
