Too Much and Not Enough @borderlineremindersbook - Tumblr Blog

Hi, I’m April!

This blog is a temporary home for updates, drafts, and behind-the-scenes content from my upcoming book: Too Much and Not Enough: Surviving and Living with BPD.

This book is written for anyone who has ever felt “too much” or “not enough” because of BPD. I walk through my own experiences while also breaking down the patterns, struggles, and skills that come with living with this disorder. From navigating relationships and communication struggles, to coping with splitting and emotional permanence, to finding self-compassion in recovery. The book aims to validate the reality of BPD while also offering practical ways forward

What you’ll find here:

Sneak peeks at chapters

My writing process and updates as the book takes shape

Occasional reflections about BPD and recovery that may or may not make it into the book

This blog isn’t meant to replace my main BPD space, but to give people who are curious about the book a place to follow along more closely without me constantly putting updates on my other blog for people that don't want to see them.

If you’re looking for regular BPD resources, peer support, and reminders, please check out my main blog: @borderlinereminders. That’s where I share most of my posts, resources, and validation.

I’ll reblog major book updates there too, so don’t worry if you’d rather not follow multiple blogs!

Thanks for being here. Your support makes this whole project possible.

Find me elsewhere on:

Instagram | Facebook

#the larger text is a quote from the book!

Even trying to self-soothe first can help you feel less powerless. And in some cases, we can seek out the support of another person to try and not put all the pressure on one individual.

Kumi is actually better at this than I used to be. If you've read in order, you might remember me mentioning that she barks at me when she wants something. If I tell her to wait a minute, she doesn't spend three hours wondering if I secretly hate her. She just goes and finds my husband instead. She's surprisingly good at having multiple sources of support (and he's surprisingly bad at not caving to her instantly).

#here #have an example of my dog being better at getting more support than me #book quotes

Too Much & Not Enough: Surviving and Living with BPD is a compassionate, practical guide for people navigating the realities of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Written by someone who has lived with the diagnosis firsthand, this book explores the fears, emotions, relationships, and challenges that often accompany BPD without judgment or shame. From emotional permanence and splitting to reassurance-seeking, conflict, favourite people, self-blame, and recovery, readers are guided through experiences many struggle to put into words.

At its heart, this is a book about hope. Not the promise of becoming a perfect or "fixed" version of yourself, but the belief that healing is possible, relationships can improve, and a life worth living can be built one step at a time.

Whether you are newly diagnosed, have lived with BPD for years, or simply see yourself in these pages, this book offers understanding, validation, and a reminder that you are more than your hardest moments.

#synposis stuff is hard #this is where i'm at

I'm trying to write the synopsis, and I'm finding this the hardest part ever so far.

Although, I haven't tried to write a little author thing... That might be harder.

Feels super typical lol. I write a whole book, takes a year, and I'm stuck on this part.

This is the Google Drive where I am uploading chapters after I've finished my third edit, and my husband has finished his.

I will continue to upload chapters to this drive.

Even after publishing and officially selling the book, it will continue to be available for free. At that point, I will do a combined PDF of the book and I will look in offering epub docs in case people want the book on their ereader.

If you'd like to see the final chapter list, you can check below the read more! (I'll also try and edit to link the individual documents for the chapters once they're uploaded.)

#currently the author's note and intro are there #chapter 1 and 2 will be up within a few minutes #and i'm working on a third edit on chapter 3 right now

I keep seeing conflicting information on this.

Do I indent the beginnings of my paragraphs? I've seen 'yes' and 'no.'

Some say that self-help books don't typically indent their paragraphs, while others say it's proper?

I'm leaning towards not doing it. Mostly because it would be so much work to fix but I'm always concerned it's going to seem super wrong lol.

I have been editing and working on the book for 6 hours! (Today I mean, overall I'd say we are at well over 100 hours of work lol. To be fair, we are almost 400 pages long in a 6x9" template which is a decent sized book at 80k words.)

Part of what I'm doing is adding optional activities, but also companion worksheets.

My friend pointed out that sometimes stuff like this can help break up reading. They are completely optional, but I think they add something.

So, while the book is not yet published, if you want to take a sneak peak at some of the worksheets on my website you can! I'm currently finished part one, and making my way through the other parts now. They're here!

And if you're curious, Activities that have been added so far!

Chapter 3: Emotional Permanence

Your First Anchor

Chapter 4: Splitting on Others & Ourselves

Shades of Grey

Chapter 7: The Shifting Sense of Self

The Parts That Remain

Chapter 8: Who Am I Without the Chaos?

What Safety Makes Room For

Chapter 9: Diagnosis: Devastation and Validation

What This Diagnosis Explains

Chapter 11: Wanting to Be Heard

Translating the Need

Some of these focus on self-discovery, some on relationships, and some on creating practical tools you can return to when things feel overwhelming. The goal isn't homework. It's building a collection of reminders, insights, and supports that help you navigate life with BPD.

Any thoughts so far are welcomed! Whether you think activities could be a nice way to break stuff up, or just overall helpful. I won't lie that the validation is nice. I'm putting everything into this, and it's nice to hear the positives lol.

While I've been editing, I've begun adding optional activities to the chapters. I thought that these might be good to share! If there's interest, I can definitely share the rest.

Optional Activity: The Relationship I Want to Build

Take a few minutes to think about the kind of relationship you want to create.

Complete the following sentences:

I want a relationship where...

I want both people to feel free to...

I want connection to look like...

I want independence to look like...

I want disagreements to be handled by...

I want both people to feel safe enough to...

I want trust to look like...

When you're finished, read through your answers.

Many of us spend so much time trying to avoid abandonment, conflict, or rejection that we rarely stop and ask ourselves what we're actually moving toward.

Healthy relationships aren't built by eliminating all distance, disagreement, or independence. They're built by creating enough trust and security for two people to remain connected while still being individuals.

If you'd like, save your answers somewhere you can revisit them later. On difficult days, this can serve as a reminder of the kind of relationship you're trying to build, rather than the fears you're trying to avoid.

#my book #optional activities

borderlinereminders

I’m doing some editing and I’m still blown away that I wrote a whole book?

Okay, my latest update is that I’m really sorry this has taken so much longer than originally said.

Between real life issues, and trying to really nail down the editing, things have been delayed.

My husband has a week off in August, so I anticipate that’s when we will be publishing since he can help me edit. If not then, it will be earlier. We have been chipping away at it.

I’ve been going over and over this book and just can’t seem to get it ‘right’. The anxieties over whether it even says anything helpful and all that are really getting at me.

That said, if there’s interest I will continue posting chapters on this blog but the official book will likely be published in August or earlier.

borderlinereminders

My anxiety has been extra lately, and I’ve been too anxious to look at the notes in my activity feed.

I’m anxious about everything.

Either way, I had to do labs today because it is abnormal the extent to which it’s happening and the brain fog. Mixed with me being exhausted and unable to warm up and constantly sick.

Someone in my life thought it was awful that I said I hope something turns up on the labs, but those who get it will get it.

I already experienced the symptoms. I want an explanation. And with that, hopefully something to help.

Either way, my book has been delayed because my anxiety has made me anxious to publish it and that it’s awful and I’m going to embarrass myself putting it out there. I’ve had an ask asking about it and I do still plan to publish it. It’s just been hard fighting my brain.

The good news is I now have an ISBN.

The bad news is my husband has been having a hard time finding time to edit.

We’ve put down that we’ll be publishing in February though!

Okay but a synopsis is also one of the hardest parts. And what even do I write for an about the author? 🤔

It took awhile but we are finally able to get an isbn. I’m still doing editing and my husband is too though.

It’s pretty easy (at least for me) to throw a bunch of stuff together and write it out. But actually polishing it to flow and organize takes me a lot longer.

I’m so excited though!

While I am still waiting for an ISBN, I unfortunately went into a depressive episode and editing has slowed down. The book is still going to be published, and I really, really appreciate all of you for being a part of this journey!

Well, apparently I should have looked into this more closely, because I need to wait up to 30 business days to be accepted as a 'publisher' for my book to get my ISBN for my book.

For my other books, I self-published through Amazon which does the ISBN for you, but I'm trying to avoid publishing through Amazon this time so that my book is available for purchase in other places too.

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