A story of Recovery
Healing and Beauty
⁃From Ashes-
A story of Recovery
This week marks a YEAR since I suffered from Bells Pasly where half of my face was completely paralyzed- to the point that I became completely deaf.My right eye lost its ability to blink and the right side of my mouth dropped completely. I lost total sensation on that side of my face. I had no idea what was happening to my body, I just thought it was an ear ache or infection. Little did I know my body was screaming for help. It was whispering here and there, sending signals that something was up, but I did not realize.
You see, during that time last year, I lost an angel. very dear to our family. Which led me to rush to the south to be with my family, immediately. At this time I was in between events, leading music and doing a lot of worship nights during the summer. I was also preparing for my first mission trip to Peru where I would be leading the music . (Which I was so excited about and ready to learn to live with basic things like cold showers and sleeping in a sleeping bag. I couldn’t wait to give myself in service to those who really need it.)
This all happened to me within a week, my body was overwhelmed and stressed. I was just doing too much! And Bamb!!! The right side of my face locks up! I woke up, went to the bathroom and there it was! My face not moving, questions starting flooding in “Did I just have a stroke?” “What the heck is this?” I freak out and told my bro Edwin, and he googles it and says “Mari, it’s definitely Bells Palsy” and my bff Kay then rushes me to the hospital.
The Doctors took one glance at me, told me the diagnosis and said, “Trust me.. All will be well. You will be okay. “ But then I ask “Could I still go on my mission trip to Peru! I’ve been waiting for this trip for over a year! Now what?” The Doctor then smiles, “ Of course you can, just wear an eye patch and you can still sing! Trust that you are going to make it through. “ They gave me a whole bunch of gauges and of course my antibiotics and I left. I flew back to NYC the next day and only had 1 day in between to pack and get ready for Peru.
I didn’t know what to do but I knew I still wanted to go on the tripI knew I needed to pull through, even though I felt like crap and didn’t even look like myself. When I talked you could hardly understand me, but I knew there was something happening here, something fruitful that was going to blossom from this difficulty. And it surely was. I met so many wonderful people, who didn’t judge me for my looks or the way I sounded. They took care of me and helped to make my 3 weeks of having this worth the while.
At times when we go through serious troubles and struggles, God allows those moments in our lives for a reason, for us to see Him clearer. In these moments, He pushes us to know him deeper. Aweee heck there were times that I called Lauren Ann in tears saying “is He ever going to heal me? I’m trying here!” Never going to forget what she said, “Go talk to Father, you need to let this off your chest” So I did and it was hard to surrender all my thoughts, but Sweet Fr.Herald just held my hand said “Dear Child, at times your body just needs you to hear it and take care of it. Self care is necessary. If you want to continue bringing the light everywhere, start there.”
It took God taking me to Peru to hear and accept that. That taking time for yourself is a necessity. Take your vitamins, learn what it’s like to have peace of mind, Learn how to relax yourself before you blow up. Ask for help when you need it, don’t put yourself last. Don’t let negativity of others effect your flow of life.I was was a bit hesitant to share this part of me and am about to get real raw, but I feel it’s necessary in understanding Gods faithfulness. I felt completely broken, I was laughed at by people, I was told that I was doing too much that I shouldn’t go on this mission.
But what If I listened to those people? What if I never went? I would have never met those individuals ( the natives of Peru) who had absolutely nothing but they were happy, children whose parents are never home b/c they have to work loads of hours to bring some kind of food to the table, but they were happy. I met Jesus there, He sang with me while I was half deaf, He held my hand when walking up those mountains to go pray in homes where people didn’t want our money, they just wanted our prayers. Let that sink in!! Folks that don’t have anything — they just wanted God. The God of miracles.
I was fully healed within 3 weeks. It was a rough patch, but it made me stronger. More aware of my surroundings, people and their intentions in my life. I learned that letting go of the little things makes one heart healthier.Here’s a peice of me to you,Love hard, keep trying to bring hope to those around you. God sees you, and that’s all that matters.When you feel like giving up, God never does.
Love you all,-Mari.
Thank you to my family and friends who was Such a big pillar for me during this rough patch in my life.
