9.12.15 the other side of the skyline from @photovillenyc 3 years ago. as someone who grew up across the hudson this is the butt side of the skyline. a skyline i’d virtually grown up with and never thought it was all that special because it’d always just been there. 9/11/01 was a weird day for me. i have a lot of weird memories. i know it snapped and triggered something’s in me. it would get harder and harder for me to get myself to go into nyc. there was some paranoia & there was some emotional discomfort. i look at it now & see that my lack of boundaries & how things just go right into me a day like 9/11 of course was bound to fuck me up. after the chaos settled & basically set on my own path to ruin & destroy my own relationship with my home away from home at that point the diy hardcore punk scene. one of my therapists thinks because of what makes me, me, that i struggle with there not being chaos turmoil disfunction because i maybe i have never known a life with out it & i just don’t feel right without. obviously a thing i am going to work on through cognitive behavior stuff but i can’t go back & change who i was the things i did it didn’t do. i know it seems off topic but so much of my freak out always seemed timed to the atrocity of this day. if you are out there struggling know you aren’t alone it’s ok to feel things about this stuff & it’s ok to not even understand why you feel those things just don’t forget to someday try & address those root causes. #nyny #september11 #frombrooklyn #nycskyline #neversurrender (at Photoville) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnmEE6xhM1q/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18sh5e5b44f3d
