#fshamara

[bamf]

You told me once: “In another time-- another life.” Well, times are different. Everything has changed.

[bamf]

Does the Code forbid romantic involvement?

[bamf]

MASS EFFECT: LEGENDARY EDITION [6/?]

In another time… another life.

[hopepunkbutch]

Akuze

(@ev-t. There isn't enough Shamara in the world. So here we are. Grunt loyalty mission and survivor's guilt things with my barely ever used Griselda Shepard. Enjoy!) Griselda gave a glorious yell as the thresher maw fell in the wake of her shotgun. That had taken a lot of ammo. She leaned against one of the remaining towers until the light stopped blinding them. She'd done it. She and her squad had killed a thresher maw. Just had to get back down from the wasteland.  "Shepard? You okay there?" Miranda asked.  She grabbed the water from her hip and downed most of it. "I remember fighting one of those things in the Mako back on the SR-1. It never gets easier."  "Let's get back."  The fight with the krogan after that was child's play, and it wasn't long until Griselda was going through the decontamination process and taking the elevator up to her private quarters. With the adrenaline gone, her mind began to reel and think about the maw over and over again.  The one she'd killed was about the size of the one on Akuze. She'd barely escaped alive that day. Her entire platoon, excepting one experimented upon by the people she now worked for, hadn't had a chance. So what was it? What made the day different? Her old squad had been just as, if not more, capable as Grunt and Miranda. Why did her squad die? Why did she live? Why couldn't she have saved her squad from the one on Akuze? Why, why, why.  Griselda heard the door to her quarters open. She looked up from her quivering hands. Her mouth opened to sharply dismiss whomever had come looking for her, but the words died when she saw Samara.  "Shepard." She didn't say anything. Couldn't. Samara held her gaze, which almost felt like a comfort in itself. "I understand you have been through much today."  Griselda laughed dryly until the held back tears ran freely down her cheeks. "That's a bit of an understatement, is it not?"  Samara walked closer and offered her hand. Shepard looked at it for a moment before taking it gently.  "I understand if you would prefer to be alone in this trying time, but I felt it was vital that you know you are not truly alone in all this."  "Samara. I could have saved them, but was unable to. Yet today, my squad and I killed one on foot with little trouble. What exactly does that say about me?" Her eyes were hollow.  Griselda felt the hand in hers pulling her to her feet. Arms tight around her shoulders. The tension easing then cracking to nothing.  "You are not the same person you were then. That experience built to this one, and the ones in between bolstered you to be able to accomplish the task. You did not have those vital intermediary experiences when you were a twenty-three year old."  She let the words sink in. She wasn't an N7 back then. She'd gone through the training so that nothing like that would ever happen to people under her command ever again. Before that training, she was just a child with a gun. It almost made sense. She buried her eyes in Samara's shoulder.  "I shouldn't have lived that day." It was a quiet and broken confession.  Samara ran her hand up and down Shepard's back until her sobbing subsided. "And now you carry their legacy. Everything they were, and everything they could have been. Their hopes and dreams and fears for the future. All of that belongs to you. You have chosen to weild it wisely, Griselda."  Shepard took a deep breath then briefly hugged Samara back. She didn't want to meet her eyes when she pulled back to arm's length. It must have looked so unprofessional for the ship's commander to cry over such a thing.  "Griselda." She winced at Samara's soft tone. "I do not think less of you. You are incredibly brave and strong for having made it through this."  Shepard brought her head up to look into her eyes. No judgement. Concern and understanding and...love? Samara had denied it, but she could feel her own heart swelling. She smiled weakly and wiped her eyes with her palm.  "Thank you."  "You do the same for every other member of the crew. I thought it best that I reciprocate your kindness." Griselda could have melted at Samara's shy smile. "If you would like to be alone, I only came to assist you out of the state you were in."  Her voice was a bit shaky from nerves. "Would it be alright if you shared a cup of tea with me in the mess?"  Samara nodded and walked beside her on the way back to the elevator. The thoughts would most likely return when she was alone again, but Griselda had a feeling they were going to be fine.