Transmasc Nene hcs (will be using he/they prns for Nene) (1)
Someone pointed out Nene's Little Mermaid correlations, yearning to be part of a whole new world as very transcoded, and I'm leaning into that for a lot of these (along with my own experiences ofc).
-The transgenderisms in Hakoniwa no Coral has me in a chokehold. The whole song gives me lots of allegories, beyond Nene drowning for his dreams. Piecing together parts of himself that he wants to become. Walking through life, terrified and uncertain, despite holding onto something that's daunting yet has the potential to make you feel safe. Wanting to pan out the parts you refuse to listen to, as Nene feels helpless, painful, struggling before a stain that he can't get rid of, hoping to keeping up this journey as the water mutes his ears, but the shadows of what he used to be never truly going away. I can't articulate my feelings very well, but this song sticks out as such a spectacle for ftms (in my interpretation) to me. It makes me feel safe in turn. The way the song sways like a beach at sunset feels like such a levitating and safe experience.
-Something else I think is worth mentioning is how Canaries, one of Nene's most predominant imagery, that are mostly known for singing, being particularly, male Canaries. While female Canaries are able to sing, it's much more common for male Canaries to sing and attract females, while in Nene4, Nene as a Canary sings in order to have his message reached to Rio (Tsukasa) and let him know that in order to save his mother, he doesn't have to kill a Pheonix. Call it leaping in logic or reaching but it's the same as attracting the attention of other beings (putting aside my mtf Tsukasa headcanons for now) using his voice.
-Nene seems like the type of person to grow up feeling alienated in his biology, but never truly putting the pieces together, because when they look at other people in the world- people who are stronger, more powerful, more braver with all the passion and love they could never find themselves matching, he doesn't feel like he deserves to take that step. He used to hate his own hesitant nature, his cowardice, and generally grew to stop viewing himself as a person entirely. Everyone else was content with who he was, so why couldn't he be? But he knew. Growing up, he knew, he yearned to be something else. And years later boom they get hit with the transgender beam and they're like 'ykw this shit slaps'.
-Only having at most a few friends, all being cis (except Rui but he came out much later) that stayed growing up, Nene never understood the nature of transgenderisms, so he assumed that his feelings were derivative for a very long time (which looking back, he found to be true, and that was okay given the state of content he found himself in). His transition started small, from his appearance and researching for online experiences (since he was one of the most chronically online people he knew) (still is), not knowing how to bring it forth to his friends till years later.
-They have absolutely no style. None. None at all, they used to look like an insomniac grandma when they went out, and with the only person to help him being Rui (the person with even less style than Nene's non existent one), they decided to borrow their mother and father's most masculine clothes in hopes of presenting himself well. Needless to say they still suck at having a sense of style but at least they're not Colorblind right?
I might update later uhhh yeah thanks for reading