#ftmsignificantother

[maremare87]

New Videos Posted

http://www.youtube.com/user/diaryofftmgirlfriend

[maremare87]

One Month on T

Well tomorrow, Aiden will be one month on T. Some changes I have noticed:

   - he is a hungry, ALL the time

   - he is more emotional (which is odd because usually it is the opposite effect)

   - he wants sexy time, ALL the time (lol)

   - he has grown and is more sensitive, if you know what I mean.

I think I have been doing good since he started. Way more positive about things then I was in the beginning. Check me out on youtube, I'll be posting videos on various topics about Aiden's transition from my point of view.

[maremare87]

I'm the newest member of FTMSweethearts, so I will be postly weekly video topics. I will also be posting my own videos that are not part of the FTMSweethearts weekly topics!! stay tuned :)

[maremare87]

July 26th

I don’t think I have ever felt so alone then I did yesterday! Aiden and I went to his doctor thinking that we needed to get updated blood work done before he started T on August 9, but turns out he didn’t and Aiden got his first T shot yesterday. I broke down…. I’m so afraid. Afraid that everything is going to change, afraid that I’m loosing the guy I fell in love with, afraid that I’m not going to know who he is anymore, afraid that I’m not going to recognize him. I feel like such a terrible girlfriend because here is Aiden, happier then ever, and I’m fucking crying. Don’t get me wrong I am happy for him, but I think my fears are taking over. He was trying to contain himself, I know only for my sake, but I still felt like shit. He’s posting in all his trans-guy fb groups and all these random people, whom he doesn’t even really know, are so happy and congratulating him, and the one person who cares about him most, me, cant even keep it together. After we left the doctors office I felt so numb, emotionally and physically. Like I was a walking zombie. I felt very alone. Aiden suggested that I “mourn” the loss of his old self (as if he was dieing/dead) but then I truly am loosing him!? And that’s what I’m most afraid of. He means the world and more to me, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Aiden told me it was going to be hard, I just didn’t imagine it would be this hard.