KHOC WEEK: DAY 3 - CONNECTION
(er, a little belated, that is)
Is there anyone, or anything, they are drawn to — whether intentionally or not? Do they enjoy this connection or does it upset them?
THIS was the prompt i saw that made me say "oh, i have to do this" and "oh, i have to do this for SHAD", because,
Shad is connected, first and formost, to Sora, and this is a connection that is full of ups and downs. Created as Sora's Shadow, Shad's whole purpose in life revolves around Sora. he's Sora's darkness. he was born to drag Sora back into darkness. Everything he cares about SHOULD be about Sora, everything he DOES should be about Sora, and this connection... it's fine. it's not fine. it's complicated.
they have a mental link that allows Shad to keep tabs on Sora - where he is in the worlds, his thoughts, his emotions, his darkness, etc. (this link TECHNICALLY goes both ways, but Sora doesn't know how to work it nearly as well as Shad does) and it isn't until this literal connection between them is severed that Shad starts questioning things.
who is he, without Sora? Is he anything? Is that... better, or worse? All he wants, all he should want, is to care about Sora, is to care about dragging Sora into darkness, but... What if he doesn't want that? What if he wants more than that? Without Sora... who even is he!? And that's terrifying. He's tied irrevocably to Sora and he doesn't know how to define himself outside of Sora but - that's worse, isn't it? That's worse, that he's so dependent on Sora! But he can't stop being dependent on Sora, he can't stop wanting Sora. And without Sora, he has...
He has Kairi, sort of, kind of, but his relationship with Kairi is weird. She's his first friend. She's his only friend. But.
But she can't see him, she can only hear him, (it's complicated,) (being a creature of darkness tied to one person makes these things complicated - Kairi isn't the only one who can't see him), and their friendship hinges on the fact she doesn't know, she can't know, who he actually is. She can't know he's Sora's Shadow, who has hurt Sora so much, who has hurt Sora's friends so much, because if she really knew who he was, she'd hate him.
But that doesn't mean he's not still drawn to her. She's the only person who knows who he is, outside of Sora. She's the only person who doesn't know he's connected to Sora at all. She's his first friend, and he's the only friend she had in a period of loneliness, and bonds like that are important, and powerful things...
If only he knew how to leverage it. If only he gave her the chance to leverage it in return.
But he's too miserable, too caught between a rock and a hard place, too certain that his connection to Sora is all he really has, all he can ever have, that he's too afraid to find out who he could be outside of it. Even with Kairi. Even if he would love nothing more than to spend the rest of his time with her, not a care in the world...
...but to do that, she would have to see his face, and if she saw his face then she would know, she would know, and--
it's not that easy it's not that easy it's not that easy it's not
Great prompt! Love to see everyone else's answers!!! Thanks!
[ original art post ] [ read the fic here! ]
