#fucking brainworms

[0-malu-0]

A few months ago I told myself I'd never fall for the fellswap and swapfell shit

BUT THEY'RE TOO STRONG

HELP

THE BRAINWORMS GOT ME

HELP

[mossyleafmoth]

Undertale au's hitting me so bad im writing fanfics

anyways yandere freshink

will eventually post it at @critter-writting

[itsladykit]

...if anyone was wondering--no, I didn't work on my writing at all this weekend. 🫠

But I did sew a jacket/poncho thing. And I still have tomorrow off....

[naonicblog2]

Trump Just Humiliated RFK Jr. in Funniest Way Imaginable

Donald Trump has once more forced Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to bend the knee.

[activatingaggro]

liyiji meta

I got asked if Liyiji was aro, and it turned into a bit of overall character reflection, so time to slap it up here. tl;dr: Liyiji isn’t aro, he’s just awful (and has anxiety).

To start us off - the core of Liyiji’s personality is ultimately his relatively low self-esteem, in contrast to his very high sense of self-worth. He is a navyblood, the highest of the bluebloods and of the aristocracy as he sees it. Indigoes and seadwellers are above him, but they’re royalty: they’re inherently not his peerage in the way that other landdwellers are, and Liyiji sincerely, genuinely believes in the fact navybloods are simply inherently better than the other castes, on both a biological and social level. As a result, he’s inherently better than the majority of people he deals with, and he is always aware of it. In a lot of ways, this inherent sense of supremacy is core to his character.

With that said: Liyiji does not feel as if he actually lives up to his caste, and there are nights that he feels he does not meet up to the expectations of even being a troll. Trolls are a social species who neccessitate others in their life to survive and thrive. Quadrants are meant to shape you into a better version of yourself, and that ideal version is meant to help shape and maintain the Empire in turn, which is nothing but a hive of their people and beliefs. With navybloods specifically, as the highest of the landdwellers, they’re meant to guide and corral those below them, serving as both a societal ideal and an example, one for others to strive to emulate, even if they can never fully emulate it.

But, even if Liyiji didn’t have anxiety, he’s not a social person. He has a very low tolerance for other trolls at the best of times, and even with the trolls he enjoys, he tires of them very quickly, and requires more time than others to recharge his social battery. And he does have anxiety: Liyiji believes firmly that he’s meant to set an example for others, but he is not really capable of living up to the role that he wants. The ideal blueblood is brazen, confident, moral, strong. They lead their people, and they lead those below them, and even when they bow their neck to those above, they do so because they choose to do so.

Bluebloods, as far as Liyiji’s concerned, are meant to be wild musclebeasts racing free and wild across the open plains, but that’s not him. And when he’s forced himself in the past to try and fit into that mold, it’s ended poorly - so at this point in canon, he’s romantically disinclined, in part, because he’s not capable of filling the roles that he would want to fill. He’s socially disinclined to a greater degree, because not only is he incapable of filling the roles he thinks he should.. but he is constantly concerned that others are aware of it, and judging him for it.

And while Liyiji judges everyone readily and immediately, he’s very alarmed, and very defensive, over the idea that others could judge him. Because he judges himself readily and easily.. but doing so overtly would validate others’ opinions, so better just to pretend otherwise. Ignore the fact he’s hypocritical and doesn’t fill the roles that he wants to fill - claim that he does so as a choice, rather than by nature - and bluff like he can fill those roles, because the only thing worse than being judged is proving that judgement is righteous.

And, Liyiji thinks, better to just avoid putting himself in situations where people know him well enough that they could figure out the truth, even without him fucking up.

With that said, he has had a few relationships, and he has had numerous crushes on trolls. The most noteworthy of his past relationships was with Myrrha: they grew up together, and she knew him, and he knew her, so their moirallegience sidestepped his usual anxiety. However, in the long-run, it kind of cemented it in a way! Myrrha and Liyiji’s diamond ultimately broke, because Liyiji wanted their relationship to be public.. and Myrrha did not want to admit publicly that she was dating him.

The real reason behind this was that she felt it’d ruin her street cred as a hemorebellious shitstirrer! The reason Liyiji took from this is that he was an embarrassment.. which echoed an earlier attempt at a relationship with Riccin, once more in pale. When they were all younger teenagers, prior to Liyiji and Myrrha’s moirallegience, Riccin had tried to court Liyiji. Liyiji had stiffly ignored it, because Riccin is yellow, he was fourteen, and the embarrassment of quadranting up with a yellowblood seemed entirely too much for him.

(Liyiji’s tendency to project his own judgements and thoughts on others is a life-long one.)

The other two ‘relationships’ he’s had, in so much as they can be called that:

WT, at 7-8 sweeps: An indigo that he met online, who decided they were e-flush-dating and forgot to actually ask Liyiji’s opinion on that first. Liyiji was flustered, Myrrha was less-than-pleased, and when she pressed him to establish that they were not dating, Liyiji took the reasonable response of simply ghosting the fuck out of WT instead.

Sipara, at 10 sweeps: Sipara and Liyiji don’t really count as a “relationship”, in so much as they were a drone-day hookup. If it weren’t for Sipara’s disdain of quadranting highbloods, and Liyiji’s disdain of quadranting lowbloods, it might’ve been able to be turned into a relationship, given they are long-term, if acerbic, hatefriends - except neither is particularly attracted to the other, with the result that the entire event has been firmly swept underneath the carpet and they’re mutually repressing it for the rest of their lives.

With that said, if Liyiji manages to slide past his anxiety and prickliness towards being judged, he isn’t actively antagonistic towards relationships, and he can be pretty aggressive in pursuing them if he decides that he wants one? Self-esteem vs self-worth! He’s not a very good troll, all things considered, but he’s still a navyblood, so he still considers himself a pretty good catch.

More importantly, Liyiji’s pretty easily infatuated - he spends the majority of his time isolated, neck-deep in historical artifacts that he dredges from the ocean and recovers from wrecks, reading and translating works both public and intimate from trolls so distant that they might as well be fictional. He wouldn’t call himself a romantic, but he is primed towards seeing things in a certain kind of way, and he is lonely. Platonic, romantic, Liyiji tends to see his people and cling like a burr. He can’t tolerate most people, but he wants to tolerate some.

And if things so happen to fit enough into the narratives he’s used to, it’s easy for things to mentally click into place for him on the whole. Liyiji’s afraid of being judged, and of not fitting into the roles society wants him to meet.. but romance occurs with trolls of all stripes, and on that, he’s read more than enough to sort out a role that works for him.

[the-private-local-enemy]

miao xingchen nya~qing song nyan meng nyao / jin guangnyao jiang nyanli jiang fengnyan 

[madamemonday]

tell me that move wouldn't set the brainworms to munching if you had personal space issues.

[madamemonday]

now that I think about it, I think it was the cradle hold in East Coast Swing tonight that did it. I hate getting that close to people unless I really really know them.

ugh, still feel all weird.