growth/evolution/ full circles/ looking back
I used to spend all of my time here on Tumblr. Every day, late into the night, I used to live among these photos, inspiration flowing through my veins and pulsing with each heartbeat. These photos and words on my screen filling me with emotion and excitement and longing to roam and create. My friends were here on this site, my work was here on this site. This was where my mind and heart lived... on Tumblr.
I stopped using this platform years ago, slowly forgetting about it. Instead actively living life, becoming my own muse, doing the things I longed to do. I forgot about these pages, the blog I spent years curating. I moved over to instagram, where I began posting all of the photos I took, but it was so different. So much less inspiring. There I just began to compare myself to others, and actually became less inspired and more frustrated with my creative process.
Today I remembered tumblr, and remembered the existence of my old blog. I decided to revist these pages. I went back through the hundreds of posts, archiving my late teens and all the magic and beauty that played such a huge role in my own development. This blog is a visual representation of what I found to be most beautiful, most inspiring, a picture of the woman I longed to become... I just didn’t realize it.
Now that I’m looking back here, years and years later, I am hit with this profound realization of how far I’ve come, and how incredible it is that I have BECOME the woman I longed to be. I am my own muse.
These places I posted about longing to go... I’ve been there. I’ve visited them. I’ve spent the last 6 years visiting around 20 different countries on 5 continents.
I’ve danced on mountain tops, swam in seas, visited the cenotes in Mexico that I used to rave about here on tumblr... I’ve met the bands that I used to obsess over on here. I’ve continued to create my own art, I’ve learned new skills.
The things I used to post here still inspire me, still fill me with longing and magic and make my heart beat fast and strong. My interests haven’t changed much, and I honestly thought looking back on this site would have me feeling strange or embarrassed, but instead I am feeling proud, grateful, and even more inspired.
What a trip, this life is. I am glad all of these pages still exist and I can look back at them in awe.