Behold! Look at what has arrived on my doorstep today from @darkhorsecomics -- to a parting of the clouds, a chorus of meerkats and a fanfare of trumpets!
Yes! Behold, the fabled advance copy of...
You cannot say that you have not been warned. Because I'm warning you right now! Time is running out to pre-order your very own life-enriching copy of this magnificent tome. All it takes is $35 and the courage to make yourself happy! And, even more importantly, make me happy because some of that money goes to my bank account. And with that filthy lucre I will buy snacks and candy, this I promise.
So, remember! Do what you have to! Beg, borrow or steal unless you want to miss out on this height of comic book stupidity, this treasure of low humor, this big fat brick of a book full of drawings and jokes and stuff! Hell, get a job, even! You can always quit after you make enough for the book. It's just that easy!
The dream will be realized on April 28th. Be prepared!