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Fur Squared 2018: Convention Report

All right. I think it's official now. Fur Squared is now my favorite furry convention. Their attention to detail, the sheer generosity of the attendees, the utter insanity of the events, the fact that it's just the right size, the fact that 40% of the attendees either sponsored or super-sponsored... all of those things make Fur Squared unlike any other convention I've been to. It is rare that I attend a convention that is pretty much non-stop happiness and excitement from beginning to end.

I say this despite the fact that the weekend was more or less one big blur of awesomeness. There weren't a whole ton of standout moments, because it was all consistently fun and enjoyable. But I will try to recount what I remember (might be easier now that it's over).

Thursday

Got everything packed into my car before work, and left work early to head on the road. It's a long drive from home to Brookfield, so I had to put the pedal down and just go. On the road I listened to the Dragget Show and Feral Attraction podcasts (sidenote: FA's "keeping yourself secure on the internet" episode was extremely disappointing, but that's a topic for another day).

I got to the con around 10:15 and checked into my room. I met my dear friend (and roommate) Jake (AKA Cobbs) in the lobby of the Sheraton. After exchanging pleasantries, he helped me carry my stuff in, and then we went over to MST3K (stylized to MiST3Ke on the schedule). Registration had closed, so I didn't have my con badge yet, but the person at the door thankfully let us in just by showing our state ID's.

The panelists were Alkali, Pandez, Xander, Draggor, Dixie Lioness, and Furry Bobs (I believe). The movie in question was... some kind of bad fantasy adventure thing, I don't remember the title, but it was bad. The panelists had to drink when a weapon was drawn, when there was a typo in the subtitles, when there was "(dramatic music)" playing, or the secret rule: anytime the panelists ended a sentence with a vowel. I didn't stick around to the end, as I was exhausted (so did Jake), but I think the panelists ended up winning.

We made our way back to the room, where we ran into our 3rd roommate, Gotherine Foxx (Gothy for short), who was putting the finishing touches (read: a pack of googly eyes) on a very large and ornately-drawn painting for the charity auction. She subsequently left with her friends, and then Jake and I went to bed.

Friday

I. Slept. Like. GARBAGE.

It took me a very long time to finally fall asleep the night before, and I don't quite know why. I think I got like 3-4 hours of sleep. It was BAD.

Thankfully, Fur Squared made it up to me with FREE BREAKFAST. This is one of my favorite features of Fur Squared. Every day of the con, they give all of the attendees vouchers for the breakfast buffet, so that everyone always gets at least one of the two meals needed for the 6-2-1 rule. I ate my fill, assuming that I wouldn't really be eating lunch that day. Jake and I sat with my friends Angel and Gabi, and we also ran into my friends Linn and Xeila.

After breakfast, I meandered around the con space with Jake, and went to get registered. Two things of note. First, they were giving out ribbons to the sponsors/super-sponsors that had character classes on them: archmage, drunken master, divine oracle, and ... one other one that I don't remember (I think it was Bard or something like that). I chose Archmage. Second, they had little stickers that you can put on your badge for your preferred pronouns. This made me REALLY happy; I always love it when cons try to be trans-inclusive.

Then we did some people-watching. There were a lot of familiar faces, and the excitement was palpable (both from the attendees, and from the many happy dogs that the charity had brought with them). I managed to snag a picture of Axikor as they walked past (it was actually the only picture I took the entire con, foolish me). Finally, it was time for opening ceremonies. It was filmed, so I won't go into detail, but long-story-short: the GOH's were Furry Bobs and Cypher (sp?), the artist of honor was Golden Druid, the con theme was "Lizards and Labyrinths 2nd Edition, Revenge of the Top Hat", the Kalerati and the Church of Adam started a charity donation war to see which one was the best, and people were silly. Good times.

Also, throughout this time, my 4th roommate, Dezzi, was nowhere to be found.

After the con was open, I made a beeline for my room and got right into my fursuit. I traveled around the con space some, posed for a few pictures, gave a few hugs, and got some professional photos taken at the photoshoot area in the headless lounge (I was due for some new photos). They had a whole collection of fantasy-themed props there, which made for some fun photos. I did a couple photos: one where I had a veil and some potions and looked like an alchemist, and one where I had a fistful of gemstones. The photos should be processed in the next few weeks.

I ran into my friend Alex while I was there; he was wearing his Azriel Dreemur fursuit (he's the one with the big Save button you see gallivanting around the cons). We chatted for a bit, and he went on his way.

I also had a goal for the weekend. Earlier in the year, I had bought a pack of "sprouts", these little clip-on plastic plants that you can affix to yourself as decoration. I was inspired by a former MFF roommate, Sven, who was giving them out to people. I wanted to continue the tradition, so that I could help #SproutTheLove on my own. I had a collection of 5 that I was going to give out by the time the weekend was over (I had already given my other 2 to my roommates).

After getting my photo taken, I sauntered downstairs to the video gaming room. They had rockband set up, so I immediately sat down at the drum kit and started getting a song set up. A couple other furries saw me banging on the drums and went "I have to get in on this." There were 3 of us playing "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. And it was a cluster. We could barely hear the music, the instruments were all out of sync, and I was extremely rusty (and in fursuit). But it was fun, and it seemed like it made people smile, so it was worth it.

I said my goodbyes (I think we ended up attracting a small crowd), and made my way back to my room to cool off and clean up. I got a quick bite to eat at the con suite (which was decorated with candles, goblets, crystals, and even a little keg), and then made my way over to the Otherworld Stories panel. Alkali and a bunch of his Nero (LARP) friends told stories of their various experiences in LARPing, and hilarity ensued. It was a surprisingly popular event, and the individuals involved sounded pretty amazing. They also had a slideshow of old photos from Alkali's LARP days. I really wish they had Nero out where I live, because it sounded like a hell of a lot of fun.

After that I stayed put for convention horror stories. It's pretty standard for that kind of panel: old con chairs and con staffers talk about ridiculous terrible things that happened during their tenures, and hilarity ensued. I had heard many of them before, but it was still fun. It was filmed.

I got a quick bite to eat (#BeerCheeseSoup) between panels, and then went back for the 3-Headed Monster. As per usual, Alkali, Pandez, and Xander each did 15-20 minute comedy sets back to back. Xander got somewhat political, but also much darker than usual. Good balance of new and old material. Alkali ... was Alkali, and Pandez sang a song or two. It was filmed, as usual, and it is consistently one of my favorite events, so if you haven't seen it yet... see it. Seriously.

After that was QUIPFUR. This is Draggor's homebrew version of the popular video game Quiplash. Serathin was the MC (he basically just read off the answers and stuff) and the main panelists were Xander, Furry Bobs, and Huscoon. Unlike standard Quiplash (in addition to having furry-related questions), Quipfur was played where Draggor chose which two people played in a given round. He usually pitted one of the panelists against a random audience member. It was pretty hilarious, and I highly recommend it if you like fun events that you can participate in.

It was at that time that I noticed that Draggor still wasn't wearing his trademark skin-tight bodysuits. He was in a costume (broad-brimmed fantasy hat with feather, and tights), but he wasn't wearing a mask or anything. Indeed, throughout the entire convention, he only donned a bodysuit once: the fursuit parade (where he wore his Robbie Sinclair suit). Other than that, he was just his normal human self. He never said why he wasn't wearing them (to my knowledge), so I don't know what the reason was for the change of pace. I can only speculate: either a) he just wanted to change things up and do something different, or b) he was getting tired of being known as "the bulge" and wanted to be recognized for more than just his suits and his package. Maybe I'll ask him sometime...

After Quipfur, I went over to "Fox's Songs To Get Murdered By". Fox Amoore (accompanied by Flop the bass bunny) basically just played a bunch of random songs, and had Pandez, Alkali, and Boozy Badger sing along. It was definitely fun, and very silly. I think it was filmed (I hope so, because my memory for it was kind of weak).

Of note: this was one of the first panels I recall that made mention of the phrase "cripple fight." This phrase was to become a recurrent meme throughout the con.

Jake and I quickly went over to the restaurant and got some more food (I had a salad, and Jake had a salad with a brat sandwich, and also had the cocktail I got earlier that night, a variant of a sidecar). We often spent our time talking about things in the fandom and various hobbies. Jake's a soft-spoken guy, who often just responds with a "nice" or "I like that" when I tell stories. I worry that I am boring or annoying to him, but since he chooses to keep hanging out with me, I'm assuming my worries are unfounded.

After dinner part 2, we went to Whose Lion Is It Anyway (audience participation version). I've become more fond of the audience Whose Lion in recent years; people have gotten better at it, and the quality of the jokes has really increased. Further, I am SO HAPPY that Alkali specifically told people "please avoid insult humor and racist jokes" and encouraged people to get creative. That had been a problem in previous years; people had often used Whose Lion as an excuse to say terrible things to each other, in an attempt to be funny. But since they specifically quashed that this time, people actually tried different things beyond the typical "hey baby wanna do sex?" chestnut. It was great. Indeed, some some of the jokes were FANTASTIC.

Also more cripple fight. And Culver's. Culver's is apparently a thing now.

After that, we went to the bizarrely-titled "Boozy's Drunken Naptime." I honestly went into it expecting to see Boozy doing dramatic readings of children's stories or something. Instead, it was him, Huscoon, Fox Amoore, Nbowa, and Dixie Lioness just BS'ing for an hour. Weird, but still funny and interesting.

This seems to be a common theme for a lot of panels: get X people, put them on a stage, and have them tell funny stories and BS with each other, with pretty much no structure beyond that. There were at least 4 panels at Fur Squared that followed this format. It's a format I haven't really seen outside of furry conventions, and I am curious about how it came to be, and why it works so well. More research to come.

After that was the last panel of the night: Iron Alcoholic. It is competitive mixology. During each round, the competitors had to create a cocktail that met certain criteria (i.e. "must contain vodka, must be a shot"). They had a time limit to do this (2-3 minutes), and then audience members were the taste-testers for the event. Each round had a winner, based on how the audience felt. Me and Jake only stayed for 2 rounds, because the event started after midnight, and we were both exhausted. But it was pretty awesome. It was definitely filmed (thank you Silvergatomon, seriously he is a saint).

Saturday

I got up at around 8 in the morning, so that I could go to Xander's Saturday Morning Cartoons panel. I had been looking forward to this panel all year; it was a ton of fun last time. It's a great way to just relax and unwind on a Saturday morning. As usual, Xander created a "playlist" of various clips from cartoons and TV shows, and we just kind of sat and watched. It was funny, though some clips were better than others. Most of them were D&D or animal themed to an extent. Unlike last year, they didn't have cereal and milk, which was a bit disappointing. Still, a good time.

Immediately following was CHAIRity D&D. This was probably one of the best panels at the con. It was a one-shot D&D adventure, played by Alkali, Draggor, Dusty Montale, and John AKA Beardo The Magnificent, with Faelan as the DM. They were playing a variant of 5th edition, with some additional house rules to streamline things (each player had a deck of cards with spells on them). And it was BRILLIANT. The campaign was really smooth and fluid. Faelan was an EXPERT DM; he deftly made things up off the cuff, without batting an eye or checking a rulebook. All the players got really into their characters. And as usual, they were hilarious. To top it all off, the audience could donate money to the charity to both increase the difficulty of the adventure AND grant boons to the players if they so desired.

It was probably one of the best run, most entertaining D&D sessions I have ever witnessed. And it sounds like they'll be doing it again next year, so yeeeeeeee!

After the adventure, I booked it back to my room to quickly get into fursuit for the parade. While I was in the staging area, I ran into Xander (in suit) and gave him my usual hug. I also ran into my friend Angel, who was wearing her brand new wolf partial suit. It was super cute, especially because she had a big plush cookie in her mouth. After the group photo, the parade began. I was right behind Red Beagle (I think that's his name?) and I felt really bad, because I kept bumping into him as I walked. My vision isn't very good in-suit, so I had a hard time looking at the audience AND seeing where I was going. I'm going to make an effort to be aware of that going forward. Mustn't have been fun for Mr. Beagle (considering my head is made of resin and probably made for unpleasant noseboops).

On a lighter note, I do distinctly recall hearing people shout "Shallie!" as I rounded one of the corners (I think it was Leafy Greens?). This really made my day, as I rarely get recognized by name in the parade. I made an effort to get a lot of mugging and posing in, trying to do more than just wave. I think they like it when I act "fabulous", so I'm going to try and ham it up more next time.

After the parade, I rushed back to my room to get cleaned up before running back to attend Charity Whose Lion. Again, one of my favorite events. And again, more cripple fight (IIRC Boozy ended up swatting Propzilla with his cane). I highly recommend this panel; these folks are all experts at improv comedy. If you haven't seen it, watch the video when it comes out.

Following that, I went over to the dealer's room to take a look around, and collect my super-sponsor swag. This year's con swag: a Fur Squared beer mug, a t-shirt, a branded dice bag, a complete set of D&D dice, and a branded stemless wine glass for the super sponsors. As usual, sponsors got a copy of the poster, and super sponsors got to be IN the poster. I was pretty blown away by my picture: they knew somehow that I was a spellcaster, so they made me a sorceress (in a pretty dress no less). It was awesome.

After wandering around some more and snagging a bite to eat (while signing the super-sponsor poster for the charity auction and giving two sprouts away to some strangers), I went over to @FurSquared. This was a gameshow of some stripe, hosted by Iggy, where each round, people were given prompts, and were asked to come up with clever responses. For example, one of them was "what kind of fictional crossover have you always dreamed of?" The responses were pretty good, but I remember the game being a bit more... lively the previous year. Still, fun times.

Following that, I went over to another bizarrely named panel: "Monkey Knife Fights." Following a similar formula as Drunken Naptime, they put Alkali and Boozy up on a stage and had them BS for an hour. As you might imagine, it was hysterical. But that wasn't the cool part. That came after the panel.

Immediately following the event, Alkali revealed that a hypnotist had come to the convention, and was in the audience with us. I think some people donated to the charity to convince Alkali to undergo hypnosis at the hands of this gentleman. I thought "Oh this'll be funny, we'll watch Alkali do stupid things". But what actually happened was even better. The gentleman, who was named Mark, was a professional hypno-therapist, and he spoke all about how hypnosis can be used to help treat psychological disorders and mental illness. He also explained how hypnosis worked, in an effort to allay Alkali of his fears (he was visibly nervous at first).

Eventually, the ferret calmed down, and Mark began his hypnosis regimen. He told Alkali to imagine that a helium balloon was tied to his wrist, and that it was slowly filling up with gas. As it filled, Alkali was told to imagine that his arm was getting lighter as the pull of the balloon got stronger. Eventually, Alkali's arm PHYSICALLY ROSE OFF HIS LEG, and he literally could not make himself put it down. Then, Mark cut the balloon's "string", and Alkali went to sleep. Mark told Alkali to envision that one of his friends had snuck in the room and put googly eyes on Boozy's eyes (Boozy had been sitting there silently the whole time), and to think about how funny that would be.

At the end, Mark told Alkali that he wouldn't remember any of this, but that he would feel very refreshed and happy, and that he would see Boozy's "googly eyes" upon his waking. Mark commanded Alkali to wake up, and Alkali had the biggest, most placid grin I had ever seen on his face. He looked so peaceful, so content, so relaxed...

And then he turned and saw Boozy and LOST IT!

Alkali honestly believed that there were googly eyes on Boozy's face. He was all like "You look like Dr. Doom from Roger Rabbit!" and he laughed so hard that he nearly fell out of his chair. After he had calmed down, Mark asked how Alkali had felt. Alkali responded that he felt "the best I've felt all day."

I really hope that was filmed, because that was an incredible experience.

Moving on, I went to the super-sponsor dinner. More accurately, I stood in line for the super-sponsor dinner. Apparently there were so many super-sponsors that they had to bring in people in stages. I was toward the end of the line. Alkali was really apologetic, and said he would try to smooth things out for next year. But it honestly didn't matter. They had enough food for everyone.

And what a banquet it was. They had a buffet with chicken and mushrooms, roast beef, roasted vegetables, dinner rolls, salad, beer cheese soup, potatoes, cookies, brownies, and Sprecher Root Beer on tap. It was pretty delicious, especially considering how hungry I was. I sat at the table, eating with my fellow super-sponsors, thinking to myself "I'm doing this every year!" And frankly, I think I will. All the cool swag, getting to be in the poster, AND a free catered meal? Considering a Fur Squared supersponsorship is $100 less than one at MFF or AC, I think that's a pretty solid bargain.

Also, there was a proposal at the dinner. It was pretty sweet. I think Alkali cried.

After that was the DRAGGET SHOW! Super fun, like always. The panel was Xander and Alkali, Boozy, Draggor, and Pandez. I forget what all they talked about, but it was recorded, so eh. I do remember Xander mentioning the video I made for them. Context: I had been working on a remix of the JAPAN SONG for the past several weeks (go to YouTube and look up "dragget show japan song" if you want to see the original, or my remix), with my goal being to get it done before Fur Squared. I was successful. I also wanted to get Xander's attention about it (he tends to not check his phone often), so I asked him about it on his Patreon. He mentioned it, and said that he had actually retweeted the song. So yeah, that was cool.

Of note: the Dragget Show was a charity panel, so people were passing around the hat. But towards the end, there were two huge donations. One person donated $666.66. And (IIRC) Tobe donated $1,000. Alkali cried. Combined with the other money, the show raised over $2000, which made it the most generous event at the convention other than the charity auction. It was amazing. And as usual, the show ended with a charity story. It was the story of what REALLY happened on Draggor's birthday, when they all got insanely high. I won't go into detail, though; you need to attend the panel to hear the charity stories. >:D

Following that, I went over to the Foxes and Peppers after dark show. It was pretty funny, like usual. Pepper's guitar string broke mid-set, so he had to fix it WHILE performing. They auctioned off the last printing of one of Fox's CD's. And they performed "Lighthouse", in memory of the kids who were shot during the school shooting in Florida recently. Pepper put it best: "I want to forget the reason I wrote this song, but there keep being more and more reasons to perform it."

The show ran a little long, so I ended up being late to Libation Appreciation. For those who don't know, this event is all about sharing knowledge about alcohol. They talked about various different types of booze, how they like to enjoy them, and various recommendations for brands to try (apparently Nika distillery is good for Japanese whiskey). It was pretty informative. Then Fox and Pepper crashed the panel, and Pepper (who was drunk) started playing around with the giant Jenga set in the corner of the room. Still, good times. They kicked us out at 1AM and I went to bed.

Sunday

Got up at around 9 for breakfast (someone ended up taking our spots, so we had to talk to the wait staff and get new vouchers), and then Jake and I went over to main events for Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes. For those who don't know the video game: one person has a bomb in front of them, with a bunch of puzzles on it. The other person/team has a bomb manual, with instructions on how to solve the puzzles. However, neither can see each other's screens, so they have to talk and work together to defuse the bomb. It's a pretty fun, but stressful, game.

And they took it further at Fur Squared. Firr and Zen Fox were running the panel. They had one audience member at the bomb, and a team of other audience members with paper copies of the manual. While the bomb was being defused, Firr and Zen would do everything in their power to be distracting. They would scream and shout, sing, dance and stomp around, blare annoying music, and more. They even set up crazy "house rules" to make it even harder. One of the "experts" had to speak in a Russian accent. Another time, only one of them was allowed to speak. Another time, the audience had to use their phones to use the manual.

And then it was my turn. I got to be the defuser once (I lost), and it was hilarious. Firr and Zen were yelling and making the stage shake, and they were moving my microphone around. Another time, I was one of the experts, which was shortly after they had taken all of the paper manuals and threw the pages all over the place. We gathered up the papers as best we could, and were ready to start.

And then Harvard walked up to the bomb chair. Harvard is a silent fursuiter. We had to play "Keep Talking" with someone who didn't talk. To make matters worse, Firr and Zen decided to play "helping hands" with us, where they came up behind us and put their arms under ours, pretending to be "our arms." I distinctly remember receiving a nipple tweak from Firr. At any rate, we lost, even on the easiest difficulty. Harvard had the foresight to hilariously dive from her chair just as the bomb was about to explode. "She was the only one who thought to do that," said Firr.

Our next "victim" was Razzy, another fursuiter. Thankfully Razzy could talk. We still had a hard time deciphering what he was saying for some of the puzzles. This wasn't made easier by the fact that Zen Fox decided to lie down on top of all of the bomb manuals. I had to physically roll him out of the way (I thankfully didn't push him off the table). But we won!

For the last bomb, I think it was Zen in the hot seat, and Firr reading the manual. They misread one of the puzzles, but I think they ended up winning? I don't remember. Regardless, Firr does a really good job with the Keep Talking panel, so you should check it out next time you go to Fur Squared.

Following that event, Jake and I went down to the "Coming and GOHing" panel. SemJay, Zen Fox, Pandez, and Firr regaled us with stories about being the previous guests of honor at Fur Squared. They answered questions and shared their thoughts about unexpected things about being a GOH, what their proudest accomplishments were, and how they messed with Alkali's head. SemJay even took off her pants for charity (she was wearing underwear, don't worry).

This panel bled into the following panel, Firr's "Go Forth And Suck." It was a pep-talk panel, where Firr (and the other former GOH's) encouraged people to just go out there and try whatever they wanted to do. If you have an idea, just do it, and don't be ashamed of sucking. We all sucked at one point. And sucking is how you get good. It was because they all took risks and did stupid things, some of which just blew up in their faces, that they ended up where they are now. Pandez's story was particularly poignant; one of his first solo comedy sets was to a crowd of 12 people in a room made for 500. But he kept going, and he learned a lesson from his experience (tailor the room to the size of the event, and do smaller sets).

I was reminded of my panel at the previous year's Fur Squared. The one that only had 3 attendees. As of writing this, I never attempted to try again after that dismal failure (even though someone thanked me for my time). So, next con I go to, I am going to submit multiple panel ideas and see which ones I get. I will do my best, and I will have fun doing it, no matter what happens.

Sidenote: because one panel ended up bleeding into the other, the panelists decided to combine the two and call it "Coming and GOHing and Sucking." We laughed at that for a good 30 seconds.

After the panel, I went with Jake back to the room and we said our goodbyes. He unfortunately had a plane to catch. But I was happy to have been able to share so much of the con with him, whether it was sitting together at panels, or having in-depth conversations during meals. He told me he remembered fondly the time at AC when we just sat and talked for hours at the end of the con. I hope that we can do something like that again sometime.

Then I went to the charity auction. As usual, it was fun times. Lots of great stuff up for auction. I unfortunately didn't win anything. But honestly, it wasn't even about that. The Fur Squared charity auction is one of the highlights of the con, because people really get into it. Cheering, jokes, huge bids; the atmosphere was electric! There were items that went for over $1000 apiece. My roommate, Dezzi, actually ended up buying the creative rights to the Kalerati AND the Church of Adam at the auction. Alkali bought the signed super-sponsor poster, as a way to say Thank You for all the hard work done by Axikor and their team. A mask made by one of Alkali's Nero friends went for $1500. It was incredible.

Oh, and someone bought a collection of Victoria's Secret perfume and then sprayed it all over Alkali, Firr, and Pandez.

Charity auctions, the bar has been set by Fur Squared. Both in terms of money raised, and in terms of the experience.

After the auction, I quickly went back to my room to get into fursuit. I decided that this was going to be a tradition: I would always do "This Is How You Kill A Con" and closing ceremonies in-suit. So I did.

I met up with my friends Linn and Xeila at the panel, and had some snuggles (I know Linn had previously asked for fursuit snuggles, so I was making good on my promise). I gave Linn one of my sprouts. But the real fun was the panel itself. For those who haven't been: "This Is How You Kill A Con" is basically just a time-filler while the board of directors meets to go over the events of the con. As a result, they give Firr free reign to do pretty much whatever he wants. And he took full advantage of that.

Him and Zen (and I think Furry Bobs was there for a bit) just kind of did whatever for an hour and a half. We had a mini charity auction. Several things ended up being up for bid. First, a small sketch done by an artist in the audience at "Coming and GOHing and Sucking". Next, a small piece of string. I think there was something else (I hope they filmed the panel).

And then Huscoon showed up. The conversation turned to Culver's, again. Turns out, the Fur Squared Twitter account only follows one other account: Culver's. This gave Firr an idea. He would put up for auction the ability to send a single tweet from the Fur Squared Twitter account AND the ability to have the account follow any one other account (no unfollows). I think the winner tweeted out that he wanted to be the GOH for next year.

They also managed to convince Huscoon to auction off the ability for someone to post a tweet on HIS account. Yes, you read correctly. The famously conservative, controversy-starting Huscoon. The one for whom #BlameHuscoon was created. Turns out, Dixie was the one who won that tweet. I think she posted "I give my undying love to my sweetheart, Pepper Coyote" or something like that. Good times.

In the middle of the shenanigans, I made my way up to the front of the room and gave my last two sprouts to Firr and Zen. Firr clipped his to his hat (where it stayed for the rest of the con), and Zen clipped his to his beard. I was happy.

Finally (after ending the panel with a round of "Bohemian Rhapsody"), it was time for closing ceremonies. They began with a big Happy Birthday song for Draggor, and he was blown away. He was grinning from ear to ear, and he turned beet red from embarrassment. Turns out he's as big a sweetheart as Alkali is. The staff also brought up a present for him: a hoodie featuring the logo for Dragon's Milk beer.

I won't go into too much detail, as this panel was filmed. I'll just go over the highlights. Kataze had his traditional power point presentation, going over the numbers at the convention. This time he had graphs, and they were HILARIOUS. Final head count: 1101. Total sponsors and super-sponsors: 485. That's right. 45% of the convention chose to upgrade their badges. By contrast, I think AC had a similar number of upgraded badges, but had 7,500 attendees.

Someone brought in a whole cart full of Culver's custard. I didn't get any (as I was in suit) but they had enough for... a lot of people.

And then the waterworks. Alkali read off the totals for the charitable donations from each of the sources. And as he read, his became more and more misty-eyed. But it didn't stop there. I think there were at least 4 or 5 instances of people coming up and going "wait Alkali, I have more money." Including my roommate Gothy donating a LITERAL BRA AND PANTIES MADE OF MONEY, that was worth $69 on the dot. As usual, Firr went around and rounded things up.

The final charity total was $21,000. They beat their previous year's total by about $6,000. Which, as of this post, puts Fur Squared at #3 in the ranking of most generous furry conventions in the world (total donated divided by attendance).

To top it all off, Cy, one of the guests of honor, said that when she sells her house, she would donate 10% of the value of the house to the charity, which was estimated to be a donation of about $12,000.

Lastly, they announced stuff for next year. Vegas themed. Title: The Mouse Always Wins. I do hope that means that Miko is going to do something ridiculous.

They also announced the guests of honor. They doubled up on the artists of honor (I don't remember their names), but they also had a new "Gamemaster of honor" title, which they awarded to Iggy! I was ecstatic, cuz I had roomed with him the previous year, and consider him my friend. I was jumping up and down and clapping like mad. I think Iggy was pretty surprised.

After closing ceremonies wrapped up, Linn went back to my room with me, and I gave her the Christmas present that I had been meaning to get to her for the past 2 months: a board game called Pitch Deck (look it up, it's fantastic). She was so happy, because she's a huge board game nerd, and she immediately recognized the game when I pulled it out. We sat and talked for a while, catching up and talking about future convention plans. After a while, I told that I had to get cleaned up (I was still in my bodysuit), so we parted ways.

After cleaning up, I went over to the hotel restaurant for dinner. This was where things took a bit of a dip. I got to the restaurant, and sat down. I waited for the waitress to come bring me a menu, but she never did. I went over to the bar and sat down, looking over at the bartenders. They never acknowledged me. I sat there for a solid 15 minutes, and was never even noticed. It was stupid. Upset, I decided to give up and head over to the Adventure Time marathon. Thankfully they had pizza there, so I was able to eat my fill without having to spend money.

I discovered that night that I don't like Adventure Time. While it has some funny jokes, it's too full of existential dark humor and body horror for me to enjoy it. Plus, there were like 5 people watching the show. So instead, I decided to take a look around and see what people were doing.

It was then that I discovered the "dead dog karaoke" happening. Firr, being a DJ, had set up a karaoke machine in the main events room. People could give him a card with their requests on it, and he would call you up when it was your turn. It started out kind of slow, but as the night went on, it became increasingly more fun. And there were some AMAZING singers. Citrine Husky in particular did an incredible cover of "Don't Stop Believin'".

People were really getting into it. I ran into Gabi and Angel again, and we hung out for a bit before they ran off onto the dance floor. There were a surprising number of folks dancing. Then Zen Fox showed up and things got a bit more rowdy.

Highlights: closing ceremonies had a big confetti cannon, so people were having confetti fights. A lady in a big white fursuit, with padded digi legs, sat down on Zen in the middle of the floor. She then proceeded to poke Zen with a big "phallic" balloon. At another point, someone had a cardboard cutout of Jesus, and they were dancing around with it. Someone did Andrew W.K.'s "Party Hard" and Firr was backing it up unenthusiastically. One guy serenaded Gothy with R. Kelly's "Bump n' Grind." They did the Time Warp.

And I sang "Your Song" by Elton John. I was kind of afraid of the high notes, so I started out singing the song and octave lower than the original. This ended up sounding bad, so I switched over to the original register and just did my best. Turns out I was able to hit most of the high notes after all. I distinctly remember doing a silly dance during one of the breaks. Firr came up next to me and sang along. And I held out the last word longer than I expected (I looked at my "watch" in an effort to be funny).

I'm not saying all that to brag. I'm trying to remember what happened, because I don't think it was filmed. See, the main reason I write these journals is so that I can re-read them later down the road, and have a solid recollection of the events of the con. My memory isn't that good, and most cons become a blur after a while, so I try to capture everything as best I can.

Anyway, the night ended with another rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody", which concluded right before the hotel staff kicked us out of the room. Apparently there were business travelers, and we needed to be quiet after midnight. I think they said they'd put the karaoke in another room next year so that it would be less disruptive.

Exhausted, I wandered back to the room with Gothy. We chatted briefly about furry stuff before heading to bed.

Monday

Got up at a reasonable hour and got breakfast with Gothy. We ran into Dezzi at the restaurant. We chatted for a bit, about his newfound "power" as the new owner of a cult and a religion. He's apparently planning on handing over the reigns at next year's charity auction if someone can match his bid.

After our breakfasts, we went back to the room and got packed. Gothy had the foresight to request a luggage cart, which made things WAY easier getting out. However, in her haste to get home, she forgot her slippers, so I had to run them out to her before she left (made it).

I packed my things, and with a little finagling, I was able to get all my stuff out to the car in one trip. After checking out, gassing up, and getting a coke, I put the pedal down and drove home, listening to #Hashtag and The Dragget Show on the way.

Overall

I love Fur Squared. It is a magical, unique, wonderful convention, a true diamond in the rough. Every year, they have new surprises. Every year, new memes, new jokes, new stories, new insanity. They keep donating more and more money, and creating bigger and grander schemes and shenanigans. Every con is special, but Fur Squared is... different. Its craziness, its generosity, its attention to detail, its loving and close-knit atmosphere, its relationship with its hotel and charity... many cons have some of these things, but it is the confluence of all of them that makes Fur Squared worthy of being called my favorite convention.

You should go.

#furry #fur squared #dragget show #furry convention