#future read

[jadefold]

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[legatary]

Anyway I did never let anyone tell me what was right and wrong, and I endured so much cause as Kim said, not everything they said is aligned with their intentions. You need to wait for the compulsiveness to end to actually hear what they have to say. I just feel like I was misunderstood on simple and mundane things while I had to comprehend all this madness, not fair

[legatary]

Honestly whatever question you have just read old texts and you'll get your answer. Love is not forbidden but understand things weren't okay either.

[legatary]

I read Kim K. stories trying to defend his husband because he has bipolar disorder. I understand what she's gone through.

Taking care of your mentally ill S.O. is assuming things are not gonna be OK for you, but you still try to support them. Deflecting everyone's opinion about your relationship. Putting your own mental health at risk every day, and being hurt on purpose because that's what your partner feels like. Remaining calm outside while crying out loud inside. And the worst for me, assume there will be no peace at all.

Not only she is married but they do also have kids.

When I compare myself with her, I can help but to feel like I didn't do enough.

The reason I need to put up this text is for the future me, which will be hurting and wondering why I didn't step up now, why didn't I do more, why did I let things fly, and why am I so useless.

You fought what you didn't need to fight.

You heard what you didn't need to hear.

You understood what you didn't need to understand.

You forgave what you didn't need to forgive.

Your feelings have been neglected way too many times. You are nobody's punching bag. You do also need help. You are not strong enough yet, you have to deal with your disorder and your own hardships. Nobody fought for you as you did for them. You didn't forfeit, you just began to matter.

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