Sep 17, 2023
Happy birthday, B. 💛
- #project hail mary
#the amazing digital circus
#lana del rey
#iron lung
#artfight- #heated rivalry
#photography- #the vampire lestat
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire armand#assad zaman
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire armand#assad zaman
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Jordan
seen from Malaysia
seen from Tunisia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Ireland
seen from Brazil
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Brazil
seen from Ireland
seen from Australia
Happy birthday, B. 💛
Amazing the things you find when you’re cleaning out a house. I had ordered this book on recommendation of Brad (futurelotterywinner). We didn't communicate all that much, but he thought I could benefit from reading this. I still haven't. That's because I didn't know where it had gone to until this past weekend. Now added again to my "must read" list.
8 years today, B. ❤️
3 years. ❤️
My unreality
I’ve been feeling that feeling like when things just don’t seem real. Like you’re aware they are, that what happened really happened, but then you’re distracted for a minute and you forget, and then you’re reminded and you have that moment of “wait a second...did it really...”
I remember a conversation I had with Lauren a couple months ago after I posted something about what happens after you die according to mediums. She was comforted by it, we talked about Brad and seeing him again someday, and some other things. In hindsight it has become very significant and I’m thankful for it, and it’s comforting to me as well.
On an unrelated note, I had a co-worker tell me today that she wasn’t used to seeing me look feminine. Apparently I usually look masculine. So that’s good to know.
Sometimes I scroll through the #futurelotterywinner tags and just remember. I see posts from happier times, when he was alive. Talking about whatever inappropriate or funny thing he'd done. I see posts after his death, people doing high five Friday's in his memory, grieving. I remember how much he made me laugh. How much he supported and encouraged me. How much he pissed me off. How much support and love he needed, too. How much he fought the addiction. For some reason those two posts of mine above hit me hard. When I read the words "hope you slept like a nugget" it was like a gut punch. The memory of them slammed into me hard. Ugly crying. He loved to talk about poop. I miss him so much.
Some Sunday cuteness and bullets. That's still a thing yes? • My dog doesn't appreciate personal space. • It's fascinating to scroll my page and see where people are now that I've followed for so long. Relationships ended and begun, new babies, old pets, job changes...it's kind of cool. • No real big changes in my life - I'm dating a bit, having some fun experiences, having some really weird experiences (online dating amirite), started a new job in the fall, and moved twice in the past 6 months. I'm ready for some calm. • Seriously with random old posts showing up - or maybe not random? The same 2-3 old posts of mine, all about Brad, keep popping up in my dash. It's great in a way, because it's not like I don't think about him a hundred times a day anyway, but I'm really curious what that's about. • GO BLUE WOOHOO MICHIGAN • I still hate cold weather and will bitch about it constantly. Alright nerds, that's all for now. Resume your Sunday activities.