Awake My Soul

Mom of 3 grown ass adults. I still hate talking on the phone. Chronically ill. Trying to stay alive & cognitively capable. It’s rough.

[awakemysoul69]

It’s back down to what used to be normal temps for us, in the 20’s (F) with wind chills in the teens.

So Frap has been back a bit more, especially during the day. She’s so cozy in her little heated house. 🥰

She’s just so blasted cute. I want to give her all the scritches and smooches. 💋 Her little “beauty mark” on her cheek is just the cutest thing ever.

[heartonthefloor]

I think I’m going to become sappy and domestic and romantic

I want an easy and loving life with my man and my dog. Ease and fun.

[awakemysoul69]

[awakemysoul69]

The stray, aka Frap, napping in her little warm house. 🥰

I love that she feels safe and can sleep so adorably. When kitties sleep with their heads turned upside down…it just melts my heart.

[awakemysoul69]

Two Weeks Ago Today!

Today marks 2-weeks post op of getting my new knee. Took the bandage off one week ago. If you want to see pics, I’ll put them after the “keep reading.” The first is one week post-op and the second is today, 2 weeks post-op. (Didn’t want to gross people out that are sensitive to that kind of stuff. The pics aren’t gruesome, but it is a post op incision after all.)

Overall, I’d 100% do it again. It hurts a lot, it’s a shit ton of work, but the pain and limitations I had for years before were so much worse. Makes me kind of regret waiting so long, but I just wasn’t mentally ready before now.

At my PT appointment yesterday they measured my range at 0° extension and 110° flexion, and I’m not using a walker or cane. I’m doing lunges and squats, and the swelling and bruising has improved so much.

I know it’s part luck and part hard work, and I’ll take it. I can’t say enough how much the pre-op therapy and exercises helped.

It’s basically been a full time job after the surgery, with all the medicating, icing, elevating, stretching and exercising. I also could not have done it without my daughter. She’s been amazing. I cannot imagine how people do this without support.

It feels like a very long couple of weeks, but I’m so excited for what I’ll be able to do over the next few months! Yay for bionic joints!

[awakemysoul69]

First outpatient PT appointment this morning. It hurt of course, but purposefully.

And they made me feel so good y’all. They told me how great I was doing for not even a week post op, had me doing things they said they never do this soon, said all of my swelling and bruising was totally normal.

So I came home, immediately applied ice and fell right asleep. 😂

[awakemysoul69]

Way to go Lions!!

Not a huge football viewer but I enjoy it well enough, and what this season has done for people around here is remarkable.

Very pleasantly surprised at today’s win! Yay Detroit!

[awakemysoul69]

Here’s Lucy for Sundog Sunday. She’s a very good PT coach. Maybe not quite as good as my daughter, but tough.

Doing one of my 4 “elevate”s for the day, just did the exercises so I’m icing too.

Some of them hurt so much, but the pain is so different than before. It’s not good, I’m not going that far, but it’s definitely a kind of pain I haven’t felt in years. My brain knows that this pain is serving a purpose, which is getting me back to being active again.

Worth every second.

[awakemysoul69]

Day 3 post op.

Overall I think it’s going pretty well.

Doing my exercises, slept better last night, so far still getting it to 90°.

I know the goal is 90° at 2 weeks, just not sure when I lose that, so I’m going to keep doing it as best I can.

Definitely swollen and tight, painful of course, but meds are helping a lot thankfully. Also the ice machine that my brother used for his shoulder that insurance won’t cover for knees for some reason is a godsend. Love. It.

Obviously all your good vibes and prayers are helping! Thanks y’all!!

[awakemysoul69]

I made it!

It went great, I’m on my way home, everybody at the hospital was phenomenal and the pain hasn’t hit yet.

Thanks for the well wishes y’all. ❤️

[awakemysoul69]

New knee tomorrow.

Spent the whole day getting things ready - doing laundry, cleaning, packing, changing the sheets etc. Made me think back to when I was nesting during pregnancy.

It’s kind of a big deal to me, this surgery. The rehab and recovery is fairly significant. Just sitting here alone with my little Lucy just trying to distract myself a bit.

I’m sure it’ll be fine. Logically I know this. But wow does anxiety fuck with you.

Anyway, I’ll try to check in after so y’all don’t think I died. Unless I died. Ha.

Can someone come snuggle with me?

[awakemysoul69]

There is no temperature.

Also I’ve realized I’m the person who lives alone that just talks out loud randomly to no one.

[awakemysoul69]

Had a sex dream last night for the first time in forever.

It was quite nice.

[liberalsarecool]

[awakemysoul69]

THIS 💯

I used to do some work with systems and cultures etc, and one of our mantras was “systems get exactly the results they’re designed to get.”

Seems obvious, yeah? It’s surprisingly not.

But if a system (in my case it was healthcare) is getting negative results, you can’t just “try harder” within the existing system to make it positive.

This is where work-arounds often originate. People trying to get positive results in a negative system.

That is not an effective or long lasting solution because you’re relying on individuals subverting the system to get positive results.

Individuals who are then punished or ostracized for doing so.

See the problem?

[awakemysoul69]

Started snowing here a few hours ago.

I like to have a fireplace video on with some soothing music in the afternoon a lot, and today real life weather is just about as soothing.

Had to go out to pick up my car after getting a new battery (super happy about having to spend that $$ right after the holidays) and the roads weren’t horrible but they weren’t great either.

You can see a corner of the roof of the little house for “my” stray kitty in the video, too. It has a heating pad and I added straw to try and keep it warmer and drier. The high temps are in the teens for a few days with high winds. She needs to be cozy.

Glad I’m in for the duration. Just sitting with my Lucy watching the beautiful snowfall.

Stay safe y’all, bad weather or not.

[chthonic-pain]

put spikes on your wheelchair's handles. wrap barbed wire around your cane or crutch so it'll hurt like a motherfucker if someone kicks or grabs it from under your hand. wear a personal alarm and pull the pin every time someone moves you without your consent, leans on your chair, takes a seat on your rollator, taps your hearing aid, steals your AAC device. scream for help when you're abducted. wail like you're in agony when people trip you up or knock into you. take pepper spray to the grocery store. take a knife to the club. leave cards that say "fuck you" under the wipers of inconsiderately parked cars and scratch access codes for bathrooms on the outside of the door. we are not begging for mercy, we're fighting dirty. we have to.

[chthonic-pain]

someone grabbed my wheelchair today and then shouted "ouch! there's spikes!"

YEAH!! GET FUCKED !!!!!!

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I witnesses someone trying to shove a wheelchair user because they felt the wheelchair wasn't going fast enough, I guess. Not even a second later, this asshole is screaming in pain because the handles had razor wire on them the back of the wheelchair had a sign saying "do not touch."

NGL, I was laughing and gave the wheelchair user a nod. They just kept on going after a nod and wink at me. Fucking amazing.

When I was in hs, I had to use crutches a few times. Classmates though it was funny to kick them while I'm standing. Soooo I glues nails on the bottom 18 inches or so. Two students screaming and yelling resulted in no one kicking them again.

Do not fuck with mobility devices. They are an extension of our body. If you decide to violate our boundaries, be prepared for retaliation, much like if someone shoved or pushed you. Keep yourself to yourself.

[awakemysoul69]

Minutes ago, as I was standing at my front door talking with a friend who was outside leaving, two coyotes went running by.

Maybe 10-15 yards away.

😳

I frequently, as in several times a week, hear the creepy, sometimes bone chilling howling. They’re so close. Sometimes Lucy will wake up and bark at it.

Scares me for the outside kitties I see a lot. I’d be way too scared to let any small pet outside alone around here.

No road runners though. Hmm.