Despite the miniature hell I’ve been going through recently (which is the reason as to why I have been inactive anywhere but discord and amongst about five friends), I’ve thought about me Subspace a lot, both of them, but mainly 2space. This is a more rambly post because why not? I’m in a very thoughtful mood right now.
VERY LONG RAMBLE UNDER CUT. LIKE VERY LONG. YAPPATHON SHIT.
There’s something about me that through about every life there’s been this spark of defiance. This vague sense of justice, no matter what somehow. For Klavier, it was a strong sense of justice, but that spark of defiance was shown in Turnabout Succession. For Poob that defiance was very strong, the fact I ran and I refused to be pushed around after a bit. Lychee, even though I was a little piece of pretty irredeemable shit, I was still defiant against Longan and trying to out manipulate him. etc etc, you get the jist. I am not going through my entire kinlist for this, but it’s something that’s a strange reoccurrence in my kins: If there is something wrong that is able to be pushed back against, I will push back.
Subspace is such an interesting case to me however. This is the guy who in canon is loyal to Blackrock no matter what, who loves his faction and mindlessly goes along because he’s (and I mean this in the CANON sense as stated at the beginning of this sentence as per confirmed essentially by the Subspace spawnday video, for clarity—SPECIFICALLY talking about in-game Subspace) been brainwashed by the faction’s government. Yet, for me, that never happened. Twice, mind you. Twice. And both times, they hated their situation. They hated being there, wanted to escape. This feeling of entrapment that haunted me for both lives and haunts me throughout each cycle, for the most part.
The life I rotate between calling “Fuzzspace” and “Prince Subspace” is one that me and my girlfriend have both figured out was some very strange swap AU. I was the Prince of Blackrock, and my father was what we call “The Crystal King,” as we do not remember his name. I remember being pressured to continue Blackrock’s glory, to continue and accept the ideals and whatnot Blackrock gave me. I always felt like I was guilt tripped into and forced to even though my heart lay somewhere else. I wanted to see the world, escape that god forsaken faction. And then Coil came along, and was assigned to me (in some way) because the King saw potential. The more we talked, the closer we got—he talked about these grand adventures of Lost Temple, of the places he visited with Sword. Things that fascinated me, things I had simply read about in the permitted books that Blackrock had.
We both agreed to try and escape the faction because of how awful it was. This defiance was always there with me and Coil I feel made me do something about it. Of course, because of it they stripped me of royalty and beheaded me when they caught me (as I did not escape, but Coil did. Shit sucks lawl). But still, I remember even if captivity when they forced me to turn my Biografts into war machines and use me up for my science understanding I was still defiant against them. I hated them.
Of course I do feel that Fuzzspace is not a fair comparison unto the difference of canon Subspace and me, as once again that canon is wildly and extremely different to a point where it just feels barely like the phighting canon. One could easily excuse that and say like, “Why of COURSE you were vastly different! This was batshit insane!” and I would agree with you! However, I present to you 2space. This life is something I think about a lot as it is simultaneously the closest to canon and yet the furthest.
I, in my 2space life, while being a very humanoid demon, had very similar qualities to canon Subspace. I grew up in Blackrock with guardians (“caretakers” they’re called in canon) who adored Blackrock and tried teaching me about how Blackrock was the greatest and Blackrock nationalism and whatever. I became head of the robotics department and generally head of crystal research. I was a high government official who built Biografts. I had a fight with Medkit that led to him betraying the faction and me getting severely injured. The very basics of Subspace as a character that can be explained and go, “Yes, yes, seems to line up.” But I have to stop you there because seemingly everything seems to completely turn upside down when I tell you that the DETAILS of all of this are completely flipped on their head.
It’s looking at this general summary that made me think, “well, I’m not that canon divergent. My personality was wildly different, and of course there are the few details here and there that aren’t ever stated in canon (or straight up did not occur, as I was never poisoned and rotting), but for the most part I am close to canon in terms of a few things.” For that I would be terribly mistaken, as I had completely overlooked the fact that despite certain events happening that are close to canon, the very basis of how I acted breaks down the very character I kin’s personality.
I know a few different Subspaces in the times I have met and wandered about online and in kin spaces (kin… SUBspaces..heh… gets shot) and for the most part the differences I hear are very astounding, but expected, if that makes sense. However when I share what I remember, it is genuine and complete shock from EVERYONE. The alternate name I have for 2space is “Nicespace” because generally I have been told I was such a kind Subspace. I knew I was nicer but I think it goes beyond that.
Breaking it down, the first and most glaring difference has to be my relation with Medkit. Childhood friends, two halves of a whole, a platonic love for each other that completely ruined the both of us when we were forced to split (“platonic divorce leads kids to the WORST places!!!” says my bestie who also is the Med from that life as we were discussing it). I have heard that there are quite a few Subspaces that do miss their Med or feel bad for them, and it’s funny because I’ve seen the EXACT opposite. And I would like to preface this by saying that everyone’s feelings towards THEIR canon and THEIR Medkit are valid, as leftover feelings simply come with kinning.
I would like to circle this back to defiance, because my relation with Med comes into the biggest play in all of this. I feel perhaps that if I had not grown up with Med nor heard his perspective on the faction’s government, I would have perhaps more similarly gone down a loyalist path. But, thankfully, since that did not happen, and this will to push back was intensified after I realized that everything he had ever said about Blackrock was right, all those debates we had, that discussion on our views, he had been right about the corruption of the higher ups of that damn oligarchy. This only was reinforced by the fact that the higher ups wanted me to program MY creations to kill him on sight. Which, sounded like to me, ‘Kill the only person who ever truly loved you as a friend, kill your other half that you had lost to keep it buried for good.’ Of course, it was NOT said like that at all, obviously. It is what I took from that though.
That being said, this vast spitefulness that they took Med’s credit away from OUR crystal research, they labeled him as this villian, this traitor—it fueled my defiance for Blackrock. I’d secretly program in the opposite of killing Med on sight. Protect Med if he is ever found. I don’t think I was ever found out, but I’d pass it off as a glitch and begrudgingly fix it. I’d let Coil go initially when I beat him, because I didn’t want him to be at the mercy of Blackrock, considering what they wanted to do to Med. The list goes on, but every day that feeling of being trapped, that hatred for my faction, of where I had ended up in life: It grew, it grew into defiance for Blackrock.
And somehow, this is all from a life of SUBSPACE. Notoriously the guy with no remorse for torture, the scientist who says “Glory to Blackrock” with glee upon winning in game.
But that does not make me any less of a Subspace, does it? I might’ve gone down a similar route with a few wobbles as canon Subspace, but I faced everything so vastly different. So intriguing, so unique of a life. So canon divergent yet with strong elements of canon in them. I am still valid, and that life was as real as any. But it just surprises me as much as it surprises everyone around me about how I was. I see the canon with distain, a grimace when ‘Glory to Blackrock’ is said with such geniunity. It reminds me of the times I had to utter those words with a disguised venom behind my teeth.
That is to say my thoughts generally conclude upon the defiance being there, and especially for a character who is known to be highly loyal. It almost feels like an anomaly—I was expecting fully to be horrible and evil if I were to ever kinfirm Subspace but all I got was this stupid leftover yearning and misery. thanks kin gods (to be honest? more in a half joking way—I quite enjoy being a Nice Subspace).
But additionally my thoughts also were about the realization that while I qualify enough as a Subspace, I was very… VERY different. It just did not occur how different, how jarring it is to others. This is very interesting for me as well as someone who enjoys hearing about memories and lives and realizing vast experiences that don’t line up at all.
Though admittedly it can be a little isolating and strange to hear from my end bc every time I hear a Medkit speak about their bad experience of their Subspace i feel lowkey like that one audio that’s like “What a manipulative conniving bitch! Did you give in? NOOOO!” because i am medkit friend #1
I’d like to conclude this by saying that I would not change a thing for myself and simply these are my thoughts on the extremely vast difference between the canon version of myself and hearing people’s experience with more canon compliance, both from a Medkit and Subspace perspective. And, overall, how defiance is very prominent in a lot of my lives, but specially and SPECIFICALLY with both but Subspace ones. thank you for coming to my ted talk smile