#fxgitivejae

[joonguar]

fxgitivejae

/The call is answered on the second ring, a familiar older sounding gentleman’s voice crackling through the line/

"…Kim Jaejoong? It’s Han Seunghyun, I called you yesterday regarding the youth in our custody…"

/There’s a pause then, as he waits for a possible reply and takes a drag on his cigarette, the sound if inhalation whooshing through the static./

"It’d be really, really helpful if you could come down to the station to identify the kid. Maybe give him a friendly face. God knows he looks like he needs it. I can give you directions if you don’t know the way…"

Jaejoong doesn't say anything, too far into territory he doesn't understand, preferring to let the man continue, for the sake of possibly allowing him to stumble into something he can connect to. 

Looking for something he can hold onto, something that he gets, its forgotten when the image of his dongsaeng, alone and scared comes to him. It makes something in his chest seize up, to the point that he nearly lets out a moan of pain, but its caught up behind closed lips and lack of breath. 

After he nods, and realizes the man can't hear him, he clears his throat in a way that sounds more like a restrained exhale, before he asks for the directions. Numbly he listens to them, without realizing there's no way he can memorize them, he's never been good at that anyways, so its a relief when the man laughs slightly and just says he'll message them to Jaejoong instead. 

Jaejoong certainly would have preferred a text in the first place. 

He agrees to come, but its not for any reason other than to just see that his dongsaeng is okay, his brain elsewhere as they end communication through the call, not even having enough frame of mind to reply with any sort of goodbye words. For a while he just stands there, in his apartment, where it feels empty suddenly again like when his dongsaeng first left that awful note, the one Jaejoong put away so he wouldn't have to think about it. 

The thought of the teen crying alone hurts him again though, so Jaejoong leaves his apartment, almost glad for the busy streets instead, even if he's not one who likes to be seen in a state of distress. 

Almost there though, the thoughts start to turn, when he realizes, it wasn't Jae who had called him. . .

[joonguar]

fxgitivejae

/Any thoughts of nonchalance fly out of the window at your gentle words and soft touch. His face crumples just before he curls himself against you, small and hurting and

Immature little brat who couldn’t listen even now

the sobs come slowly, building up into an almost howling crescendo as he lets his frustration and anger and confusion and utter, debilitating loneliness out on you, hands clutched like claws in your shirt/

[/holding you to him is hard, makes him swallow down a hot lump in his throat. its hard for jaejoong to witness someone like this, particularly someone he cares about, someone he thought he helped to bring happiness to. it hurts because part of him wants you to just be happy, because he's there and he's enough. its a selfish impulse, the first one he has, the first thought that comes to mind, before he even feels bad for you. 

he holds you gently, because when the sobs start to get worse, and he can hear how it labors your breathing, he feels so helpless to do anything at all. he doesn't ever remember crying like this in front of anyone himself, doesn't remember ever holding someone while he let himself just weep, and while most times he feels a certain sort of satisfaction when people are vulnerable with him, this time there's nothing for him to feel good about. he feels so very inadequate, not knowing what to do for someone in a time like this, other than to let you just cry and hold onto him until you've worn yourself out./]

[joonguar]

Hyung...

[/before you even say anything more, he can tell something has you in a really off mood, that there’s something bothering you more than you’re able to handle on your own. there’s a stab of pain in his stomach, just at the sight of you like that, and it feels like his lungs are curling in on themselves, the sadness he feels from you so acute to his own body. 

he’d just walked back into the apartment, dropped his bag down and taken off his shoes, gone to the kitchen for some cool water, but he puts that glass down as he walks over to where you’re just standing at the edge of the kitchen. 

his hands move out towards you as he steps up close enough, grasping the sides of your face gently, fingers smoothing over your skin and brushing back the longer strands of hair around your face. his voice is a little rough with concern, but still soft as ever./]

What’s wrong? What happened? 

[joonguar]

fxgitivejae

x

[/that, and the expression on your face when you say it, has him raising a hand to his mouth to try and hold back the snort and velvety giggles that are about to pop out of him, the sound just barely muffled as it is. there's nothing to be done about how its obvious he's laughing just by his eyes alone.

he's laughing because he's totally agreeing that his friend has hilariously uptight morals at times/]

[elegancesama]

fxgitivejae replied to your post:

/An uncharacteristic flush paints his cheeks at that; he's honoured that you'd remember the little street rat who'd been enchanted by you so long ago/...Miya-sama...

*A warmth just for the other suffuses Miyabi's features as he looks you over as if to make sure you're still whole, his smile widening at the near reverence in your voice.* JJ. *He returns, seemingly upbeat.* It's been a while.

[elegancesama]

♚

♚:You are beautiful

Well hello there, stranger! I was wondering when I'd see you again. Thank you, you know the same goes for you, I hope. *He smiles warmly at you.*

[joonguar]

fxgitivejae:

/He doesn’t comment on the situation he’s walked in on; he’s learned when it comes to his hyung to expect anything./

…Sorry……I. Sometimes I. I forget how quickly time goes by.

The words are whispered, eyes fixed on the floor as he nibbles at his lower lip, not even noticing that it’s started to bleed/

Hyung….I don’t want to go back to school anymore.

He's not exactly sloshed, but he's certainly on the way to being the definition of drunk. When he's alone its almost like it hits him harder or something, he's not really sure why that is, but the mostly drained bottle of wine clatters back onto the counter when he sets it down, having just poured the rest of it into his glass that he'd intended to carry back with him while he'd cleaned up the eyeliner. 

He's still standing in the kitchen when he stops, blinking behind his glasses at the teenager, squinting slightly as if that would help him hear better. He's not sure he's heard right or not, the music is mixing in with the wine and he's still offset from having someone walk in on him when he's like this. Even as JiJi hops up onto the kitchen counter next to him, Jaejoong still doesn't move and holds his confused stare at the teen, as if he hadn't even noticed the cat (which he probably hadn't). 

"What? Why not? What happened?"

[joonguar]

Hyung.

The eyeliner he was using to paint onto himself with flies out of his hand and scatters on the floor (luckily onto the hardwood and not the white carpet). He’d been at home listening to classic american jazz, drinking red wine, sitting in his sweatpants sans underwear on the carpet of his living room, and drawing on himself. His left arm is near covered, and he’d been working on the inside of his forearm. Apparently, he’d been startled out of his concentration, hadn’t heard his dongsaeng walk in the door, or knock - in the case he’d done that first. 

At first when he turns to look at the younger, Jaejoong’s surprise for the teen being there again shows, because the other hadn’t been around for a while. Secondly, the surprise of being caught like this, home alone without anyone for company, in the mood to draw, the unfinished work something he wouldn’t ever want to show anyone laid out on his skin, makes him feel ridiculous. Jaejoong doesn’t share his paintings or drawings with others, not often.

There is one inky watercolor using just black against white canvas that’s large, hung up over his black sofa, the outlines of five smokey figures in it. There are two others that he felt good enough about to share, but for the most part he keeps this to himself. When he holes up for the night in an artsy mood, the less sociable emotions surfacing in him at times, Jaejoong almost seems to slip off the radar entirely on those nights. 

"Dongsaeng, why haven’t you texted me?"

Jaejoong stands as he asks this, carrying his wine to the kitchen where there’s a mostly empty bottle sitting on the counter. As he goes to get a damp dishtowel to clean up the specks of black that are now on his floor, he doesn’t say anything about the drawing he’s done to himself.