I can’t stop thinking of Fyochu headcanons….
-Chuuya thinks he’s finally over Dazai. It’s been four years. He meets a strange Russian man who offers him revenge on Dazai on a silver platter. Maybe it unnverves Chuuya a little how similar the two are. Maybe he likes it. He tells himself, so I have a type, what’s so wrong with that?
-when Fyodor reached out to Chuuya, he didn’t have anything in mind but strategy. Until he meets him. He’s anything but Fyodor’s type- Fyodor likes ice, men like snow, pure and lethal and heartless. Chuuya is fire and ash, and wears his heart on his sleeve behind an armor of anger. He’s the most genuine person Fyodor has ever met.
-They bond over their shared hatred of Dazai. There aren’t any awkward silences, because they always have this to fall back on. Neither of them really hate Dazai. Both of them love complaining about him though.
-They have similar (expensive) taste, so a friendship builds easily. Granted, they have disagreements- Chuuya prefers jazz and piano pieces, while Fyodor likes strings and classical, Chuuya likes wine and Fyodor prefers Russian liquors, etc- and they find themselves drifting from little insults to flirtatious barbs surprisingly quickly. Fyodor enjoys making Chuuya lose his cool. It reminds Chuuya of him, but it’s different. Where Dazai got off on it with glee and added fuel to the fire, Fyodor gives him a peaceful smile and sultry eyes that takes the breath from Chuuya’s lungs.
-When they have a real fight, they don’t apologize right away. The next time they meet, Fyodor will bring a bottle of wine as a peace offering. Chuuya is always first to apologize, and only then does Fyodor say “Perhaps I… misjudged the situation as well.”
-At first, Chuuya thinks Fyodor is the type to care for others, in a relationship. He’s always giving gifts and making (somewhat calculated) romantic gestures. Roses, wine, luxury. But once he looks a little closer, Chuuya realizes he’s got it wrong.
-Chuuya takes care of Fyodor, because Fyodor doesn’t take care of himself. When they have dates, Chuuya takes him to a nice steakhouse so his anemic idiot can get some iron in his diet. When fall comes around, he takes the opportunity to buy “himself” an expensive lotion in a scent he thinks Fyodor will like (Juniper, perhaps) and wordlessly rubs in into Fyodor’s hands with his own when the moment is right. He trims his jagged, chewed up nails and buys him gloves similar to his own.
-Fyodor doesn’t understand Arahabaki very well. From his Christian perspective, there isn’t much difference between a “god” like that and a demon. It doesn’t really matter. Fyodor thinks abilities are an embodiment of sin, so when he finds out Chuuya’s origins he sees him as a sort of sacrificial lamb, an innocent forced into darkness by mankind. Sometimes, when he’s too tired to think of the implications, he’ll call Chuuya his little lightbringer.
-Eventually, Dazai finds out. He pretends it doesn’t bother him. He laughs, says they’re both stupider than he thought if that’s what they’d be into. (He gets drunk and tries to kill himself again.)
-time passes and Dazai doesn’t die. Fyodor and Chuuya think it might be funny to fuck with him, so they invite him to a threesome, knowing that he’s self destructive enough to say yes and egotistical enough to believe he can win them both over at once. Together, Fyodor and Chuuya break him into tiny pieces and put him back together again. He’s never the same afterwards, and doesn’t think he wants to be.
