#g.s

[sixteenthtry]

I'll block a bitch for raising my blood pressure levels by 0.1

[zurmuhta]

Finished another sketch for the animatic thingy over the Pesach holidays. 

I am satisfied by this page’s layout. I like the way I put the dialogue bubbles, but it feels like the page is overloaded because of the text in two languages. Anyway would be great to hear some criticism and on what I should work more.

Also, with each page Mzia’s braid is getting longer lol.

[tamisdava2]

Continuing the work on the sketches for the animatic. Yes my brain forgot that it was supposed to draw a rough sketch and yes my brain remembered the fact that it was supposed to draw a rough sketch when I started drawing Mariam.

[los-muertos-vivientes]

Mi fiebre.

Tengo una gran enfermedad difícil de manejar donde soy y no soy, donde voy y no voy, cuando hablo y no hablo, porque me nace y no me nace, el miedo rotundo de ser rechazado ha creado este mal que no me deja ser yo mismo, no me deja sentirme vivo, no me deja actuar como quiero, este miedo es imprescindible y me agarra de repente no se que hacer.

Hablame, mirame y miénteme dime que estoy bien como soy, yo te creeré aunque sea mentira, dime como hundirme y me ahogaré aunque sepa nadar, no soy yo, no entiendo quién soy, no entiendo como los demás pueden ser ellos mismos y yo no poder serlo, muéstrame el camino y me desviaré no se porque soy así, no se porque tomo decisiones que me destruyen es una fuerte enfermedad es mi trastorno de personalidad.

G. S

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

it’s been a while since i’ve written you but i’ve realized that you’re the one person who’s always been there for me. i’m sorry i lost touch and i’m so very thankful.

anyway, onto the story:

michigan is a wonderful place for me. i think i’ve really blossomed since moving here. it’s been almost two years, and though i was apprehensive about moving here, there’s no place i’d rather be. i’ve made new friends, become a leader, and learned to be somewhat comfortable in my own skin.

and…

i’ve crushed hard. for real this time.

my previous letters mentioned another boy that i thought i was into. however, distance warps minds. people change, and when you really learn things about someone, you have to decide what’s right for you.

it wasn’t right for me. my older, wiser self has narrowed her vision to a path straight towards teacher education.

or so i thought.

i’m a very emotional, expressive person. i’m sure you know that, charlie, but since moving away from home, i’ve opened up more. i’ve burned old bridges, built new ones, and burned new ones all because of this. being emotional and sensitive aren’t bad qualities in a person. but for me, it can become too much.

i am so obvious when i feel something that the whole college knows within the hour what i’m thinking.

recently, i made a friend. and then, i fell in love with him. and now, i have no clue what to do. do i run with my intuition or do i push my feelings in? either way, i’m sure he knows. when i think of him, i want to write a poem. when i see him, my cheeks turn red.

when he comes to mind, i imagine very adult things. i imagine introducing him to my family (my mother still has that annoying boyfriend but that’s not the point of this) i imagine graduating college and moving to the city. i imagine raising my cat with him. this is all so mundane compared to what other people see as love, but that’s how i see love. isn’t that enough? isn’t it enough to be able to be yourself around someone and not be judged?

i don’t know.

my idea of what love is has evolved so much in just the past two years. love is something that has always started with friendship for me, but now it’s something that enhances friendship. i don’t want to think of him as both a lover and a friend unless it’s a mutual thing. would he want live life with me or can i just move on?

charlie, my thoughts are so rosy, but they scare me so much. all of my questions are bound to go unanswered and i don’t have much time to leave them that way.

in september, i’m moving again. this time, only for a few months, but i’ll be across an entire ocean.

will my demons control me even then?

i’m twenty now, and i still have never been with someone. that scares me.

am i unapproachable? am i unworthy?

this letter is becoming a ramble, one i should probably tell my therapist instead.

but before i go to france, i am sure i’ll write you again. i hope that my mind’s hurricane settles down a little and i wish you the best on your own journey.

with love and thanks,

g.s

[quotesalv]

I fell in love with your soul before I got to touch your skin. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Brentknows

[sixteenthtry]

If I look long enough at a woman I have an 80% chance of automatically falling in love with her

[sixteenthtry]

I don't get the "hot CEO" fanfiction genre because that's the type of person I would want to spend the least time possible with?? They are all insufferable??