Imagine a universe in which Gabe and Tyson are co-hosts of a morning radio show on AVS FM. Tys is constantly trying to slide into co-hosting the lunch/early afternoon/late morning slot with MACKDOG (aka Nate) but their boss likes the Gabe/Tyson chemistry too much to let them break up.
Also all their listeners kind of ship them because Tys is always describing Gabe as like a beautiful golden viking stallion - getting more flustered and touchy whenever Gabe presses him about it. Or when someone calls in to try to also comment on it Gabe gets really awkward and laughs uncomfortably while Tyson agrees wholeheartedly - Gabe is one of the most beautiful people alive.
Whenever Tyson is out sick or generally anyone tries to also get in on Gabe’s ribbing of him Gabe has NONE of it and always defends that Tyson is SO FUNNY AND SHARP AND SELF-DEPRECATING and you could nEVER measure up to him.
Basically Gabe just plays straight man to Tys’s random craziness and their regular listeners are waiting for the day they wake up married to each other by accident.
Their show is a mix of things, random news, traffic, and celebrity gossip, they both always comment on hockey and cheer for canada and sweden in respective world championship things and chirp each other and are endlessly fond of each other.
Tyson has a segment that's just him updating everyone on what the Kardashians are up to so no one has to actually keep up with them and when he's sick Gabe does it and he's like: "...well...a lot of them have k names..."
and then Tyson gives him endless shit for not even trying - and Tyson talks to him about them ALL THE TIME.
Anyway as we mentioned Tyson is always trying to escape their show doing anything he can to get out of the morning.
"WE COULD HAVE A TYSON-N-TYSON SHOWWWW THOUGH!” He screamed at a retreating afternoon host Josty, "THINK OF THE TYSON TUESDAYS!!"
(this universe has no female hosts and idk why but like it's a terrible drought and they are all the poorer for it)
Gabe just gets increasingly concerned and slightly hurt that Tyson keeps wanting to bail out of the show on him. Morning show is like THE BIG NAMES, IT'S THE COVETED POSITION! And they get to take so many naps! But that 4 AM call time is ROUGH sometimes. Tyson is just desperately trying to get some distance (also some sleep).
“You don’t get it, Nate I AM LOCKED IN A BOOTH WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN ALIVE EVERY MORNING MINIMALLY CAFFEINATED.” He hisses at Nate while he patiently replies to facebook messages, “He smells so good, all shower fresh in a little intoxicating sound proof box, just reciting the traffic report like it's no big deal. CAN'T HE SEE I’M DYING LITERALLY EVERY MORNING?” Nate rolls his eyes at Tyson and shoves him out of the way to tug his headphones on, ignoring the rant that he’s been listening to since Tyson started with Gabe day one.
They also spend a distressing amount of time hanging out too, because NO ONE HAS TIME OFF TO GET DRINKS ON THE PATIO AT NOON AND THEN BE IN BED BY 7. NO ONE. So Gabe is kind of depressingly Tyson’s BEST FRIEND. Like Nate of course is his best friend forever, but he spends so much time with Gabe, every day, they text and do errands and hang out. They also watch hockey together and ending up sleeping on each other because those games be long and they start at like 5 earliest their time - and it’s a distressing trend to wake up pillowed on Gabe’s chest like he could actually BELONG THERE.
It’s enough to drive a man mad.
Then, one Valentines day the station hosts a contest for Tyson who is endlessly and painfully single and complains about it. So they create a bit where he goes on 14 dates with different people leading up to Valentines Day where one winner will get a fancy steak dinner with him etc etc. They get the evening guy (Night time with Nail - He’ll YAK you to sleep) to call up these dates on air after they’re finished and get the scoop on how it went.
Gabe is unreasonably grumpy during this period of time, to the point he’s actually kind of short on air.
Tyson of course complains to Nate about it when he rolls in for their shift overlap and Nate just looks at him like he’s dumb.
“Of course Gabe is being pissy, he has to listen to you while you dissect going on two weeks worth of shitty dates.”
“You have to listen to me too and you’re not acting like I died your dog blue.”
“I’m not in love with you.”
“Neither is Gabe.”
“Okay, Tys, keep telling yourself that.”
Tyson thinks Nate is probably smoking whatever it is that all their listeners are on because they’re actually getting a lot of complains about the bit - how it’s insensitive, and poor ol’ Gabe. They’re all sniffing glue if they think Gabe is acting like sour grapes because he’s jealous of all of Tyson’s dates. He could pick up anyone he wanted any time he wanted!
And besides it’s not like the dates are going well, Yak keeps reporting that all the dates think he’s very Cute and Charming but he spends too much of the date complaining about how annoying Gabe is being - like he’s really preoccupied.
Nate gives him many Significant Looks™ about it.
So it goes that their producers definitely think it’s coming to a point where they need to intervene and with Nate and Josty and Yak’s input they pull some strings so the last date Tyson has before Valentines day - he stumbles into the restaurant and gets led to a table in which Gabe is waiting.
Tyson: Is this a sick joke?
Gabe: Nate said the producers were getting tired of getting emails about us
Tyson: God. That’s so embarrassing, I’m so sorry. I keep trying to get my shift swapped around maybe I need to change stations entirely.
Gabe: No! No that’s not. That’s not what I want. That’s not what anyone wants.
Tyson: Why are you here? Wait are you here to fire me????
Gabe: I’m not -- Tyson! I’m here to go on a date with you, sit down.
Tyson: Date? A real date?
Gabe: Is that so hard to believe? That I could possibly think you’re clever and funny and hot?
Tyson: ??????????????????????????????????? No?
Gabe: Sound more sure of yourself.
Tyson: This isn’t a prank?
Gabe: Unfortunately no. I’m actually into you and it took an entire city’s worth of people complaining to our bosses to get you to actually go out with me.
Tyson: You never asked!!
Gabe: We’re not arguing about this any more!
Tyson: We need to argue, how is the rest of our lives going to go if we don’t argue
So basically Tyson gets a clue, and spends the next show insufferably smug about how hot his boyfriend is, and they get many callers in wishing them well - also to make fun of the fact that their anniversary is now Valentines day. A terrible fate.
They give away the steak dinner to a random listener and spend their Valentines at home, eating at 5 and crashing by 6:40, and it’s perfect.
BONUS
MIKKO THE STATION INTERN that Gabe is SO DELIGHTED BY and Tyson sees them palling around while Gabe is showing Mikko around the booth and yelps: "ARE THEY CLONING YOU NOW??? HOW IS THAT FAIR?? YOU SHOULD NEED A PERMIT AT LEAST FOR THAT."
