#galaxy-38

[sirloozelite]

Darth Véurr’s really bad not good day!

(Darth Véurr and the events of Galaxy-38 belong to @rangerslayer-97. Borrowed with permission. Thanks again pal XD)

Scene: The Moon of Alderaan in Galaxy 3. Kaesoka’s apartment. A mysterious portal opens in the middle of the living room and a heavily armoured Togruta steps out)

Véurr: Ha ha! At last! I was finally able to break that stupid lock on the portal! Now another galaxy will be mine for the taking!!! Muahahahahahahahaha!

Morai: Hiss!!!!!!!!

Véurr: Ah.... if it isn’t that cheeky Convor. You know... I am awful hungry.

Morai: Hiss!!!!!!!!

Véurr: You won’t be hissing much longer ‘dinner’. Now, time to cook...

A stun blast echoes across the room, flying towards the distracted Sith Empress.

Véurr: Oh poodoo!

Véurr collapses to the floor unconscious as her ‘assassin’ emerges from the shadows.

Kaeden: Take that bitch!

A few hours later

Véurr: (regaining consciousness) Urrggg, my head. What the kriff happened? Wait! I can’t feel the Force!!! What sorcery is this!!!! Where am I?

Véurr looks down to see Force restraining cuffs around her wrists, whilst the rest of her body is tied to an uncomfortable wooden chair.Looking up, she realizes she has been tied up in a basement.

Véurr: Oh you have got to be kidding me!!!! How the hell did this happen to me?!? I’m a goddess!!!!

Movement on the other side of the basement draws her attention.

Véurr: Who’s there??? Identify yourself!!!

Hondo: My friend my friend... it is I... Hondo!

Véurr: .... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Several more hours later

Kaeden: Had enough of Hondo yet?

Véurr: Oh my beautiful wife... how I had missed you!! Untie me now and let us go and make lo......

Kaeden: Nope! No way! Not happening! You see... we’ve got bigger issues to talk about!

Véurr: Such as what my darling wife?

Kaeden: Stop that!

Véurr: XD

Kaeden: Anyways... when you came through your portal, the Force decided that it would only be fair if someone from this universe took your place in your realm.

Véurr: ... what do you mean?

Morai: (chirps mischievously)

Kaeden: I think you know what I mean Sith.

Véurr: .... oh no... you don’t mean...

Kaeden: Afraid so.

Véurr: Oh no! My beautiful Empire!!!! It’s gonna collapse now due to some inept person leading it!!!! All that work for nothing!!! Oh the hubris!!!

Morai: (chirps mischievously)

Meanwhile, in Galaxy-38 in Darth Véurr’s throne room...

Alfred the Butler: Lady Véurr... I must say it is good to see you out of your armor for once. Perhaps if you did so more often you’d have more suitors that you seem to desire.

Fulcrum Ahsoka: Um.... thanks... I think? I don’t even know what happened? Where am I?

Alfred the Butler: Why.. your grace... you are in control of your empire. I await your work for today.

Fulcrum Ahsoka: ... oh... ok then. May as well have some fun for a bit. 

And that’s how Darth Véurr’s Empire went bankrupt in under 24 hours. The End

[rangerslayer-97]

Galaxy-38 Humour (AGAIN!)

Katooni: You know, I notice you do a lot less stupid things when your friend Kaeden is around you. What kind of Force power is this? Is she Force-sensitive?

Ahsoka: *Almost freezes* Wha- no! Kaeden is basically 90% of my impulse control.

Katooni: *Wants to test out that theory* Well then, wanna do something dumb?

Ahsoka: Sure. What can go wrong?

Kaeden: AHSOKA TANO-AMIDALA-SKYWALKER! I WILL CHAIN YOU TO A YSALAMIRI AND BANISH YOU TO THE COUCH!

Ahsoka:

Katooni:

[sirloozelite]

Clone Swap - The Return Home (Galaxy-3 and Galaxy-38)

(Galaxy-38 and it’s characters belong to @rangerslayer-97. Borrowed with permission)

Clone Wars Narrator Voice: Cross dimensional travel! Captain Rex finds himself swapped places with captain Slip. Forced to relive a battle of the Clone Wars once more, Rex finds himself in the sinister clutches of Galaxy-38′s Ahsoka Tano... who is totally not going to one day turn into an evil bitch!

Rex: Ok... from the start? Easy enough. 

G38 Ahsoka: Then get talking Captain!

The door behind Ahsoka opens, and in strolls mechanic intern Kaeden Larte.

G38 Kaeden: Ahso.... ahem, I mean, General... are you torturing this poor guy?

Rex: Wha... Doctor Larte?

G38 Kaeden: Um.... no... I’m not a Doctor. I’m training to be a mechanic. Do you know me or something?

G38 Ahsoka: Yeah! How do you know Kae.... I mean Intern Larte! Choose your words carefully, ‘Captain!’.

Rex: Jeeze, alright. Calm down ‘Darth Snips’. And here I thought my Ahsoka could be a grumpy moofmilker!

G38 Kaeden: XD

G38 Ahsoka: >:(   (growls threateningly)

Rex: Oh please.... save the growling for Kaeden and the bedroom already!

G38 Ahsoka: What?!

G38 Kaeden: 0_0

Rex: Yeah... you two are together in my reality as well. 

G38 Ahsoka: We ArE nOt ToGeThEr!!!!

G38 Kaeden: Ye... yeah!

Rex: Uh huh? You’re not convincing anyone. Anyways, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen people displaced in time. It’s happened to my Ahsoka too. Hopefully things will be sorted out in time. 

G38 Ahsoka: And if they aren’t?

Rex: ... then I guess I’m stuck here.... back in the Clone Wars.... with a really grumpy version of Ahsoka and her totally ‘secret’ girlfriend. 

G38 Kaeden: WE’RE NOT GIRLFRIENDS!!!!!!

G38 Ahsoka: AND I’M NOT GRUMPY!!!

Rex: Riiiiiight.... and I don’t suffer from Clone Wars induced PTSD.

G38 Ahsoka: 0_0

G38 Kaeden: 0_0

Rex: ... oh come on.... like that should be a surprise to anyone. I mean, the war was pretty damn scary and...

Suddenly, a portal appears behind Rex, and Captain Slip walks through, a backpack on his shoulder, sunglasses on his face, and a tan covering his body. 

G38 Ahsoka: 0_0

G38 Kaeden: 0_0

Rex: 0_0

Slip: ... oh! Hey guys! Did you miss me?

G38 Ahsoka: What the.... Slip?! You’ve only been gone ten minutes! How do you already have a tan?

Slip: Ten minutes???? Um.... yeah.... it was more like a whole week for me. 

Rex: What?!?!

Slip: Yeah.... nice little vacation. Hope you had fun too Rex. 

Rex: >:(

Slip: Gotta say... I like that universes version of Ahsoka and Kaeden better. At least they don’t bother to hide their relationship, unlike these two dorks. (gestures to G38 Kaesoka with a smirk on his face)

G38 Kaesoka: Hey!!!

Rex: Maybe.... but at least you’ve never stumbled across them when they are ‘doing the deed’!

Slip: Ha! I did actually. Gotta say, I envy you brother. The one I caught was a lot more tame compared to this reality. I could actually look them in the eye afterwards... and then they apologised too. 

Rex: ... in that case I’m gonna get back to my version of events if these two are as bad as you say they are. 

G38 Kaesoka: >:(

Slip: I don’t blame you. Thanks for the vacation though Rex. Have a good retirement. 

Rex: Thanks brother. Good luck with these two. 

G38 Kaesoka: >:(

Rex steps through the portal, which closes behind him. 

Slip: Well... that was a nice break. What did I miss?

G38 Kaeden: ...

G38 Ahsoka: ... Slip... you abandoned your duty as a soldier of the GAR. 

Slip: ...what? Hey... that wasn’t my fault. How was I supposed to...

G38 Ahsoka: Report to the janitor. You are on latrine duty for three rotations. 

Slip: 0_0

Meanwhile, Rex emerges from the portal on his end, finding himself in the lounge of Kaesoka’s apartment in Galaxy-3. 

Rex: Ahhh.... home sweet home. How I’ve missed this place. Hey, Ahsoka... Kaeden... you’ll never guess what I... saw?

Rex glances at the couch to find Galaxy-3′s version of Kaesoka busy with each other. Thankfully, they are still clothed. 

Rex: 0_0 ... OH COME ON!!!!

[sirloozelite]

Multiverse Uno: Round One

(Galaxy-38 and it’s characters belong to @rangerslayer-97, and Galaxy-121 and it’s characters belong to @swgoji2001. Both borrowed with their permission. Galaxy-3 and its characters are mine. Hope you enjoy!)

6 individuals are gathered round a table playing a game of UNO. Thrawn’s pet Ysalamir, ‘Eli’ sits on the table. 

G-3 Kanan: (Plays a skip next turn card)

G-38 Véurr: STOP SKIPPING MY TURN!!!!!!!

G-3 Kanan: No. 

G-3 Ahsoka: XD

G-38 Véurr: I swear I’m gonna murder every last one of you!!!!!

G-121 Kaeden: Even me?

G-38 Véurr: ... no dear... not you. I have something special planned for you instead! XD

G-121 Ahsoka: Hey! Back off bitch! She’s mine!

G-38 Véurr: Pfffttt, please.... you couldn’t beat me even if you had access to the Force. 

G-3 Ahsoka: Whatever Sith! Anyways, whose turn is it? 

G-38 Alfred the Butler: I believe it it my turn. (Plays a reverse card)

G-38 Véurr: Dammit Alfred! I don’t have a blue or a seven! (draws a card)

G-38 Alfred the Butler: Apologies your grace. 

G-121 Kaeden: Ha ha!

G-38 Véurr: Please dear... do not laugh. I am your wife after all. 

G-121 Kaeden: Oh no you are not! I’d never even think about touching a psycho like you!!!!!

G-121 Ahsoka: Hear hear!

G-3 Ahsoka: Indeed. Anyways, your turn again Kanan. 

G-3 Kanan: (Plays a wild draw four) Green.

G-38 Véurr: HA! Take that pathetic weak version of me!

G-3 Ahsoka: (Add her own wild draw four) Yellow!

G-121 Kaeden: (Add her own wild draw four) Green!

G-121 Ahsoka: (Add her own wild draw four) Blue!

G-38 Véurr: How is this even possible!!!!

G-3 Kanan: Not a clue. 

G-38 Alfred the Butler: Um.... your grace?

G-38 Véurr: What Alfred?!

G-38 Alfred the Butler: I am deeply sorry for this. 

G-38 Véurr: ... DON’T. YOU. DARE!

G-38 Alfred the Butler: ...

G-38 Véurr: ...

G-38 Alfred the Butler: (Adds a wild draw four)

G-38 Véurr: >:(

G-38 Alfred the Butler: Red. 

G-3 Ahsoka: Draw twenty cards Véurr. 

G-38 Véurr: -_-

Everyone else: XD

G-38 Véurr: RAAGHHHHHHHHHGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Véurr flips the table and sends all the cards, and Eli the Ysalamir flying before storming out in a strop. 

Everyone else: 0_0

G-38 Alfred the Butler: Sigh.... this happens every time we pay Uno at home too!

[sirloozelite]

Darth Véurr’s really bad not good day: Part 2 - The Return Home

(Galaxy-38, Darth Véurr, and everything else within that universe belong to @rangerslayer-97 and was borrowed with permission. Thanks again buddy. Hope you like)

Véurr: Are you kidding me!!!! The Empire is broke!!! How?!?!

Alfred: How? But... I thought you knew? It was mainly your doing Lady Véurr.

Véurr: You tool Alfred! That was not me! That was an impostor from another reality. Can’t you tell the difference between your Empress and an impostor!?

Alfred: To be fair your grace... I have never seen you out of your armor, thus I have no idea what you actually look like, only that you are a Togruta female. I’m afraid I was easily fooled. 

Véurr: Clearly. Anyways, what damage has been done in my absence?

Alfred: Well... as I said... the Empire has no more money. You... um... fake you spent it all by giving donations to charities for Loth-Cats. 

Véurr: What the kriff!!!!

Alfred: I know right! Anyways, the Clone army has also been disbanded. 

Véurr: 0_0

Alfred: That was my expression too. Oh and your apprentice has started a new Order of Inquisitors too. 

Véurr: Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!

Secret Apprentice: Nope! They are gonna be awesome for us Master.

Alfred: Oh and fake you also gave the Mandalorians refuge on Shili as compensation for the destruction of Mandalore. 

Véurr: For kriffs sake!

Secret Apprentice: Oh oh! Tell her about Vader and Ragnos too!!!

Véurr: What!?! What did she do to my Akul!!!!!

Alfred: Oh right... she set them free on Shili too. Sorry. 

Véurr: ..... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Force Ghost Miara: HA HA!

[sirloozelite]

Thrawn psychoanalyses a megalomaniac

(Darth Véurr, and the events of Galaxy-38 belong to @rangerslayer-97, and was borrowed with their permission)

Purveyor of Art: So Miss Tano, please tell me how you rose to power within your galaxy.

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: You dare call me by my weaker self!!!!

Purveyor of Art: Fascinating. You remind me of another individual from my realm who suffered from an identity crisis. He too believed his former name was weak. 

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: Then whoever that was was most wise! Ahsoka Tano was weak, and I destroyed her!

Purveyor of Art: And yet from your interactions with my realm’s Miss Tano you seem most transfixed on acquiring another version of your deceased wife. I find that most peculiar. 

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: You are trying my patience Grand Admiral. 

Purveyor of Art: If Ahsoka Tano was truly as weak as you say, why are you attempting to pursue and secure another version of her wife? Surely she is a weak link to the past you so desperately try to deny existed in the first place?

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: She was controlled by the Rebels! She was my first love and she will see the truth of my actions! Tano was weak...  and my wife will see that once I gift her the Empire!!!!

Purveyor of Art: And yet you still murdered her with a soul destroying weapon. Your words do not support your actions. 

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: I saved her from their control! Liberated her soul from torture and manipulation! 

Purveyor of Art: I believe you are suffering from a case of split personality disorder. Perhaps a therapist could help you?

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: You sound like my traitorous parents now! I have no desire to see a shrink!

Purveyor of Art: Very well. Let us discuss your Empire then. You seem to rule through terror. Why is that? Do you feel no one would listen to you if you were not threatening them? Or perhaps you feel a sense on inadequacy if not in control?

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: My Empire is ruled through justice! All I do I do for the safety of the galaxy! I have beaten fleets of thousands! Saved the galaxy from foreign invasion several times! I am the galaxy’s protector!

Purveyor of Art: And yet Mandalore lies in ruin, as does several other planets. You are no protector. You are a warmonger who thrives off the terror she inflicts. 

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: You think you know me Admiral! You know nothing!!!!

Purveyor of Art: Perhaps not.... but at least I am willing to learn, unlike you. It appears your sense of self superiority has clouded your judgement and impaired you vision. 

StressedButler: Tell me about it!

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: Shut up Alfred no one asked your opinion!

StressedButler: :(

Purveyor of Art: It appear not even your closest associates are free from the terror you inflict. Tell me, why the title of ‘Goddess’?

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: Because I am supreme and immortal. 

Purveyor of Art: Even gods can fall. 

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: Not this one!

Purveyor of Art: Tell me of your secret apprentice. Is there a specific reason you chose a female?

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse: I don’t have to explain it to you. 

Purveyor of Art: Perhaps it is some twisted desire of yours. You psych profile and past experiences highlight your preference in females. Perhaps you seek to court her and control her as you do the rest of the galaxy!

SecretApprentice: Ewwwwww! That’s not true is it Master????

SupremeEmpressoftheMultiverse is now offline

SecretApprentice: 0_0

Purveyor of Art: Fascinating. Most fascinating. 

[sirloozelite]

G-3 Ahsoka gives G-38 Véurr something to think about!

(Darth Véurr and Galaxy-38 belong to my buddy @rangerslayer-97. Thanks for letting me borrow her again XD)

G-3 Ahsoka: Hey evil me! Been up to much?

G-38 Véurr: Oh for the love of.... you again!?

G-3 Ahsoka: Yep! You know how much I love ruining your day! And the best thing is you can’t touch me!

G-38 Véurr: Unless you are here to gift me your girlfriend as a peace offering, kriff off!

G-3 Ahsoka: Yeah no... she’s still not interested I’m afraid. Apparently she likes her predators somewhat tame!

G-38 Véurr: That’s no fun!

G-3 Ahsoka: Says you! Anyways, I’m only here to talk, and perhaps blow your mind with something!

G-38 Véurr: I very much doubt that! I have lived for over 4000 years. Nothing more can surprise me! I have complete control over everything!

G-3 Ahsoka: There you go again. You do know that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer right?

G-38 Véurr: Shut up!

G-3 Ahsoka: No u!

G-38 Véurr: (Snarls)

G-3 Ahsoka: Yeah yeah... I can do that too. Anyways, here is the thing. What if we were just characters in stories that someone has written?

G-38 Véurr: ...

G-3 Ahsoka: See... it’s got you thinking hasn’t it!

G-38 Véurr: So... you are proposing that the two of us are simply creations of other beings that are vastly superior to us and that they control each and every move we make through written words?!

G-3 Ahsoka: Yep! Pretty cool isn’t it? I’m glad my owner gave me a happy ending. Yours must really hate you though.

G-38 Véurr: ... so it seems. How... unfortunate. :(

G-3 Ahsoka: Wow. Are you actually sad about something?

G-38 Véurr: NO! However, should your new preposterous theory prove true, I know what I must do!

G-3 Ahsoka: And what is that?

G-38 Véurr: I must destroy my creator for all the suffering they have inflicted upon me!!! They will suffer the full might of Darth Véurr!!!!!!!!!

G-3 Ahsoka: (Facepalms)

Meanwhile, in the real world

Rangerslayer-97: 0_0

SirLoozElite: And that’s why you give your characters a happy ending! You don’t see my Ahsoka wanting to kill me! XD

Rangerslayer-97: 0_0

[sirloozelite]

Crossover Comparisons (Fulcrum and Véurr)

(Darth Véurr was borrowed from @rangerslayer-97​ with permission)

Fulcrum (from my Rebels AU): So... you are evil me?

Véurr: No... I am the superior version of you!

Fulcrum: Superior? You? Ha! At least I’ve still got my original body!

Véurr: Really... trying to body shame me? Low blow imposter!

Fulcrum: Said the person stupid enough to lose their original body due to their own ineptitude!

Véurr: Why don’t you go find some Stormtroopers to kill or something? Or maybe some Clones. At least I wasn’t targeted by my own troops... twice!

Fulcrum: Ouch. Bad memories for me. Then again, at least I didn’t turn into a mass murdering psychopath!

Véurr: That’s because you are weak!

Fulcrum: How’s the wife Véurr? Recovered from when you murdered her too?

Véurr: You dare?!

Fulcrum: Oh I dare!

Véurr: Don’t tempt me into a fight imposter! You stand no chance against an immortal Sith Empress!

Fulcrum: Oh please, my ‘Staff of Ashla’ can crush an immortal being like swiss cheese. It’d be an even fight!

Véurr: (sarcastically) Oh congratulations on recovering an ancient and all powerful artefact that is capable of slaying gods! You must be so proud of yourself! Have you actually done anything significant with your life since you killed Sidious or have you just been sitting around being boring!

Fulcrum: Hey! I’ve done plenty of stuff!

Véurr: Not compared to me you haven’t. I’ve conquered an entire galaxy, and soon, the multiverse too. If this damn portal wasn’t sealed I’d of conquered yours too. So tell me, what have you done that is so great!?

Fulcrum: I wrote a book.

Véurr: Ha! You wrote a book! What about?! How much you suck!

Fulcrum: No... a book about how Anakin Skywalker was a traitorous piece of bantha poodoo!

Véurr: ... wait what?

Fulcrum: I wrote a book about how he betrayed the galaxy and became Darth Vader.

Veurr: ... you wrote a book about how much you hate Anakin Skywalker then?

Fulcrum: Pretty much.

Véurr: ....

Fulcrum: ....

Véurr: ...

Fulcrum: ...

Véurr: I will buy 500 copies please. Autographed too.

Fulcrum: 0_0