Promise me this is forever- Jaime Lannister imagine
Jaime Lannister x reader
A/N- I hope you guys like it :):
Warning- angst, talks of death.
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“Promise me this is forever.”
The words echoed in his head, when he slept, when he felt alone, or when he remembered you.
“I promise.”
How significant is promising something if you can’t truly keep the promise. Then again was it truly breaking it, If neither of you had broken the promise but someone else.
When Jaime remembered you and the promise he made to you, he would get sad. The memory of you hurt him to much, the rest of that day he wouldn’t be able to think straight, train, or eat. The sad memory would swallow him whole their wasn’t anyone to get him out of that trance but the thought that he had been young.
“I was young I didn’t know what love meant.”
Is what he had to make himself think. He was young. Too young. But he knew that wasn’t true. He loved you. You were the first one truly loved. He was in love with you as much as he had tried to hide it then. Now the memory of his love to you was painful. But he couldn’t just throw those memories or feelings away, as much as he tried to do so.
“She was lowborn. Nothing but a handmaiden. We wouldn’t have worked out.”
He would think to himself the months and years after. Those thoughts only occurred to him after because the thought of you not being with him anymore hurt to much. And when he was with you he thought of nothing else but you, and the love he had for you. How much he wanted to keep you in his arms and hear you laugh, see you smile. He just wanted to be near you. He would’ve dropped everything to be with you. It was true. But that was impossible now. Now all he was left with was the memory.
He should have never loved you, seen you that day in his sisters room. He should have never snuck away with you all those nights. He never should have kissed you for the first time under the stars and bright moon of the night sky. And he should have never told you he loved you for the first time. Because that was what hurt the most. Hearing those words that now turned to ash in his mouth at the memory. Because if he never would’ve done any of those things then you would still be alive. Jealousy wouldn’t have gotten the best of his sister Cersei and she would have never killed you.
Of course she never admitted it but he knew it was her, your sudden disappearance wasn’t something you would do. He also had seen your body. He went to look for you at the place where the two of you would sneak off to every night. And that’s when he saw your cold body on the ground. When he had seen your dead body on the ground he fell on his knees and held on to you. He closed your eyes that were still open and pulled you closer to his chest. Their was no wound just a vile a few feet away from where you had been.
He cried all night when he held on to you. He rocked your body back and forth, he kept telling you to wake up and wanted to deny that fact that you were never going to wake up again. Before the sun could rise he ran to get a shovel. He had managed to bury you even with all the tears that blinded his eyesight. He placed a sweet rose from the gardens inside the castle and placed it on top of the freshly dug up grave.
After that day, at nights he would find himself not being able to sleep, he would cry at night and then find himself sneaking off to sit by your grave. The memories of you would replay in his head, memories of all the words you would say, the stories and all the jokes you had came up with. He was always alone, his sadness the only thing keeping him company.
One night though his brother Tyrion had followed him to where he had buried you. Tyrion said he had seen Jaime sneak off and was curious. He had known of you. Tyrion was the only person Jaime told. When Tyrion had found Jaime he was sitting by your grave with tears on his cheeks. It was then when Tyrion knew what happened, Jaime was good at hiding his emotions during the day that no one would ever know of his sadness during the night. Tyrion didn’t say anything just held onto his brother and let him cry out.
You were the reason he really joined the kingsguard. It wasn’t to be close to Cersei. Well that was part of it. But the honest truth was because the thought of spending his time with another women forever broke his heart. He never wanted to spend his time with anyone. He could never love someone else...maybe that’s why he kept being with Cersei because the love he had for you could never die.
Jaime after all the years still remembered one of his favorite nights with you. The memory was clear as day and one he could never forget. Not like the others the faded over the years. He would often dream of that night. At times the memory would come up in his mind and he would smile at the simplicity of that night. He could still remember what he promised to you. He remembered the kiss you both shared and the smile you wore the whole night. He could never forget that night.
The night had been cold even if it was summer, only meaning summer was coming at an end. The stars were out but clouds were beginning to form and began to hide their light. Yet your eyes still sparkled as bright as any star though. “Come on Jaime hurry.” You said as you grabbed onto a torch with one hand and grabbed onto his hand with your other.
You pulled him to your secert place where you met every night. This night though you had met in one of the castle halls. Jaime was running late and when he finally showed up, you pulled onto him so you could see the stars that were beginning to disappear behind the dark clouds.
You loved to star gaze, it was your favorite thing to do when you were with Jaime. He saw the way you looked at the stars it was the same way he looked at you when you weren’t looking.
“What?” You asked him as you caught his gaze on you. The fire that danced on the torch lit your smile making it clearly visible.
“I love you that’s all.” He said in a low voice. The smile on your face widen and your eyes seemed to sparkle brighter. “I’m in love with you.” He said a couple seconds later. Your smile fell as you couldn’t believe what he had said but after you took in his words your smile grew sweeter and wider. You pulled him in for a passionate kiss, he cupped both of your cheeks and pulled you closer. You could feel the smile as the two of you kissed. When you pulled apart you rested your forehead on his. You then felt the light rain that fell.
“Come on we should go inside it’s beginning to rain.” He told you as he moved one of his hands to grab onto yours so he could take you inside but you placed your hand on his chest making him stop.
“No it’ll clear up in a moment.” You said with a smile. The rain only fell harder getting the both of you soaked in seconds. You both looked up and laughed. When you looked at him again you pulled him in for another kiss. When you pulled away you continued to look at him with the love you only felt for him.
“Promise me this is forever.” You said as the rain only fell harder onto you both. Jaime cupped your cheeks again, he looked at you with so much love, he smiled at your words.
“I promise.”
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