#ganyuslily.writes

[ganyuslily]

HOW TO GET A S/O — A GUIDE BY YOURS TRULY.

“i hereby declare that i am opening s/o applications! i can offer a poem, a brownie and my unconditional love. if you’re interested, please fill out this form!”

(platonic/romantic) ayato, albedo, childe, kazuha, an anonymous sender x gn!reader, chiscara cameo lmao

comedy, fluff, modern!au, high school!au (?)

for valentine’s day…. i love valentine’s day i LOVE PEOPLE IN LOVE!!!!!

“this is so dumb,” your best friend xiao mutters under his nose. “i’m not even talking about the fact that you came up with the whole significant other form thing or the fact that it actually worked,” he looks with an indescribable look in his eyes at your phone, “i can’t believe you used google forms to make it. really? google forms?”

“what else was i supposed to use, genius,” you retort while opening the submitted applications. “i’m more impressed that i actually got so many answers. i think my brownie has bewitched them, their body and soul,” you say jokingly while stretching.

xiao looks at you with a blank face and you only shrug. he looks like he’s mere seconds from a breakdown. you wonder why.

“well, i’ve gotta say this is perfect! valentine’s day just around the corner, y’know? would be nice to have a partner even if they would break up with me like two days later. i can’t keep pestering you to be my valentine every single year.” he simply sighs and rubs his eyes. he seems annoyed. you’re not sure why though but you know he’s not annoyed at you. he never is.

“alright, enough talking, let’s get to it! time to see whose application was the best!” you declare enthusiastically and start scrolling.

APPLICATION NR. 1

NAME: KAMISATO AYATO

TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF: i’m not particularly sure what contents should be placed here.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PERFECT DATE: a meeting in the park sounds quite nice. obviously, it would depend on the weather. however, if it would be nice, strolling and talking while walking between trees and flower seems quite lovely. i’ve always wanted to try it.

TELL ME THE REASON FOR YOUR APPLICATION: you seem like a very nice and competent person. we’ve worked on a couple projects before and even if we wouldn’t end up dating, i would still appreciate becoming friends.

TELL ME A FUN FACT: oh my, i’m really bad this. i’m sorry. could i perhaps ask you a question though? do you know if i perhaps did anything to offend your friend? he’s been glaring at me since the time we first teamed up for a project.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[…do you think thoma and ayaka put him up to it?] [that is quite possible.]

[aish, that’s too bad. do you think he’d still like to meet up though? i’d like to get closer to him.]

[what? why on earth would you like to do that?]

[why not? it could be fun. also, addressing his concern, do you have anything against him?]

[…no, not in particular.]

[alright, if you say so…]

APPLICATION NR. 2

NAME: ALBEDO

TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF: oh come on, we’ve known each other for so long. i’m sure you already know it but but when i was a child i accidentally dyed my hair black — my mother was terrified. on the other hand, i was quite thrilled. maybe i should do it again.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PERFECT DATE: a study date? perhaps. i’m sorry, this probably sounds quite boring. in my defense, i am quite a boring person. i’m open to anything though.

TELL ME THE REASON FOR YOUR APPLICATION: we’ve been lab partners since the beginning of high school, haven’t we? i’d like to think we get along quite well PLUS i don’t have a valentine this year either and if i’ll have to listen to my mother’s nagging again i will lose it. if you want to, i can give you extra chemistry lessons — an agreement with mutual benefit, if i can put it that way.

TELL ME A FUN FACT: did you know ajax screamed when he saw that you put out the forms? i’m not particularly sure why but i felt as if my eardrums were about to explode. even my noise canceling headphones didn’t work.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[can’t believe he’d try to use me again to get rid of his mother’s talking his ear off.]

[if it annoys you, i can take care of it.]

[your definition of taking care of something is quite doubtful, if i’m being honest. and no, you don’t have to. i love helping him anyways. he’s a good friend and he explains chemistry perfectly.]

[i could also give you some extra lessons from it.]

[xiao, you are literally failing the subject.]

[and?]

APPLICATION NR. 3

NAME: AJAX AKA CHILDE

TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF: i’m good at sports, obviously. i’m also fantastic at learning. i’m also handsome. generally speaking, i’m perfect (and taken).

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PERFECT DATE: simply spending time with my lovely boyfriend (if he’d hear me call him that he’d slap me in the face).

TELL ME AND THE REASON FOR YOUR APPLICATION: i’m trying to help my friend but i’m not sure if he won’t murder me in exchange if he does please put forget-me-nots at my grave i beg!!

TELL ME A FUN FACT: i once put a lightbulb in my mouth because i didn't believe it when they said you won’t be able to get it out. had to go to the hospital and shit — oh and by the way did you know there is someone close to you that HAS A CRUSH ON YOU PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES I CAN’T KEEP ON ENDURING IT ANYMORE

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[a crush? on me, out of all people?]

[why are you so surprised?]

[why would i be not? it’s not like i’m popular or anything. considering you, who has been my friend for the longest time never developed one, how could a completely random person do it?]

[…who knows.]

APPLICATION NR. 4

NAME: KAEDEHARA KAZUHA

TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF: i think you know everything you should already, considering you’ve seen most of my poetry.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PERFECT DATE: finding a place the both of us have never been to before and exploring it together. making memories with a person you like is always pleasant.

TELL ME THE REASON FOR YOUR APPLICATION: i just want to get closer to you. and who knows where it will lead us.

TELL ME A FUN FACT: did you know they opened a new café just around the corner? perhaps that could be our destination.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[kazuha is as sweet as ever. straight to the point too.]

[…too straight to the point.]

[did you say something?]

[no?]

[oh.]

[well, you do remember you’re supposed to visit the café with me though, right? we’re supposed to do it tomorrow.]

[of course i do.]

APPLICATION NR. 5

NAME: ANONYMOUS

TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF: what would be the point of me submitting myself as anonymous if i’d describe myself in great detail here

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PERFECT DATE: same one as yours

TELL ME REASON FOR YOUR APPLICATION: i’ve liked you since that one time where you reached out my hand to me in kindergarten and asked if we could become friends. i’ve kept on liking you when you went through your first breakup. i’ve kept on liking you when we were spending valentine’s day together every single year. i’ve always liked you. i still do. and i don’t think i’ll stop

TELL ME A FUN FACT: would you believe me if i told you that out of all the possible people ajax was the one that made me do this. i’ve threatened him that if this fails i’ll tell scara that he’s had a crush on him since sixth grade

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[xiao?]

[…yes?]

[is this you?]

[…]

[silent as ever, huh.]

[what if it is me?]

[because if it is, i like you too. i’ve liked you for a very long time now.]

[…yes, it is me.]

[oh, thank the stars. i can’t believe i had to do this whole thing to see if my feelings were one-sided.]

[huh? what did you say?]

[…nothing! so, how would you like to spend our first valentine’s day together as an official couple?]

[official?]

[what, you don’t want it?]

[…]

[wait, xiao, did you just blush?]

[…we can visit that café.]

[whatever you want, my dear boyfriend.]

[…stop talking.]

[ganyuslily]

[02:12AM]

— DILUC RAGNVINDR, SUGGESTIVE(?)

“an inch. just an inch lower,” he’s saying, his voice barely above a whisper. one of his hands is ghosting over the small of your back. he wants it— wants you so bad it drives him crazy. “an inch lower and it will be perfect,” he murmures, his eyes gazing into yours. his pupils are blown out and he trails a finger down your spine. gently. slowly. you’re so perfect and he wants to memorize all the curves on your body. to not miss a single one. to be able to know you better than anyone else.

“here. here, you have my heart,” he guides your hand as he tightens his hold on it. his fingers are curled around it, the warmth from his skin seeping into yours. your arm is shaking slightly, your resolve wavering and upon noticing it his lips curl up into a cat-like smile. perhaps, you want him too. more than you let it show. he lets himself tilt his head in a silent question and starts leaving kisses on your jaw. small, little pecks. he is a gentleman, after all. and yet, the moment your breath hitches and you bare your neck for him all his manners leave. he’s touching you as if you were about to disappear.

“now push it,” he’s urging you, his lips trailing down your neck. he’s kissing you as if he were planning to devour you whole. as if he were to never let go. “take it. take all of it— whatever you want. my life included,” your breathing is uneven and he’s fully aware of the dagger mere centimeters from his chest and yet, he can’t find it in himself to care. he wants you to crumble — wants you to crumble in his arms so bad it drives him crazy. wants you to want him as much as he wants you.

“i’ll give you whatever you want.”

oh to have a make out session with the one u r supposed to be killing am i right

[ganyuslily]

MOST WANTED.

perhaps calling yourself “inazuma’s most wanted criminal” is definitely an overstatement and not the brightest idea on your part — but if that’s all that takes to have shikanoin heizou on your back; then so be it.

heizou / gender neutral reader

fluff? bantering. reader is mayhaps overconfident but heizou loves it. reader is a thief. reader calls heizou “mr.detective” quite a lot. (written before the characters release!)

the first time you meet the detective, you were not expecting for that man with noodle arms to be that strong — to the point where you can’t move out of his grasp, your hands pinned over your head and his face shoved right into yours. you also definitely did not expect him to smile and laugh, laugh!, in your face and then to just let you off with a warning, a condescending look in his eyes. yes, you did have an innocent look on your face and yes, it was a convincing one, but the way he laughed and looked at you as if you were just a child, a hindrance, set off something in you.

and from that moment on, you decided that you’d make that weird detective respect you.

shikanoin heizou is his name, you learned once by accident during your night trips to the city. the number one detective in the tenryu commission! someone says the next time you’re out and gathering information. a man of wild imagination, you near a couple of weeks later while trailing your next victim, but he also has an extraordinary sense of intuition when it comes to solving cases! someone almost screams the last part of the sentence into your ear. you flinch and then disappear between the people, focusing on your target once more.

“extraordinary sense of intuition my ass”, you mutter under your breath; you despise him to the core just after one meeting with him. is it quite childish? perhaps. but you don’t care.

sure, you’ve never really expected to become a criminal — and also one of the best, if you can say so yourself, but fate works in wonderful ways. the wonderful ways of fate meaning you were incredibly petty.

and today, you’re slightly fucked. not worse than the first, second, third and nth time after coming face to face with shikanoin heizou but the situation is definitely not ideal. shoved into the corner with no possible way of release and running away; it makes you feel like a caged animal. you’re plastered to the walls of the buildings next to you, searching for a way out. the detective is coming closer and closer, his eyes bearing the same condescending look as the first time you ever saw him.

it makes your blood boil.

“shouldn’t you be, i don’t know, sitting in and office and be taking care of all of your detective cases, mr. shikanoin?” you ask cutely, your eyes quickly scanning the surrounding. he doesn’t answer and just smiles (and damn it, it’s really pretty), he just approaches you.

“i truly doubt that chasing after me has anything to do with your job,” you continue your little monologue, deciding that today’s apparently the day when he’s not the most talkative, “considering i’m oh so honest with my crimes; there is nothing to solve there.”

you feign an innocent look and a crestfallen expression guests on your face; perhaps, if heizou did not know you that well, he would’ve fallen for it. the way he fell for it the first time.

“you stole weapons from the tenshukaku,” he says, his eyes brimming with something akin to excitement and it makes your heart flutter. “you stole weapons under the almighty shogun’s watch and i’d like to know how.”

“what, so you can steal them too?” you raise your brow and cock your face to the side. you slowly lift your hands higher the closer he gets to you. “i’m flattered, mr. detective, but the magician does not reveal their tricks that easily. you’ll have to try harder.”

“we’ll have all the time in the world after i take you to one of the cells; the food there may be not the best but i promise to spend a lot of time with you as you slowly tell me all your ways,” he tells you in a voice that makes him sound as if he’s making a sweet and not threatening promise. the issue? your heartbeat accelerates.

he’s only three steps away from you when you hop up and leap up into the air as if jumping on stairs, quickly placing yourself on the roof. you squat and look at the man under you, placing your chin on your hand.

“you’re really annoying, someone ever told you that?”

“yeah, a couple of times from this one guy called shikanoin heizou; ever heard of him? but truly, it’s a pity he’s someone that works under the law and not against it,” you sigh in disappointment.

“one day, i’ll catch you for good. and every time you use up one of your escape tricks, i get closer and closer to that day,” he says fiercely in a way that makes him sound as if he’s making an oath to his beloved.

you stand up and stretch lazily.

“y’know, if i didn’t know better, i’d say you have a crush on me, mr. detective,” you wink and disappear from his sight.

he’ll have you, one day. one day, you will be in his grasp — and he won’t let you go.

[ganyuslily]

ALL THE THINGS I COULD’VE BECOME (TELL MY MOM I’M SORRY).

he loves her in a way only a child can love their mother and yet, at the same time, he hates her in the exact same manner.

ei&scaramouche + scara&puppet!reader. familial.

angst. i guess…. also im clinging onto the headcanon that scara had long hair before he cut it off in a fit of rage

this is very chaotic. and messy. and in general kinda weird. anyways i think scara with yet another puppet!sibling that is also imperfect yet tries to stay at raidens side with everything they have is a sad concept

scaramouche is nothing else but destruction.

he wants to rip apart raiden ei’s chest, dig his bloodied hands into it and see for himself if she’s empty on the inside the same way he is. if the space between the ribs where the heart should be is an empty void.

comfort. it would bring him comfort.

because no matter how much scaramouche says he despises his god, his creator, his mother — it is simply not true. he wants to see, he needs to know, that fundamentally, they’re both the same. that they’re both empty on the inside, with no heart in the place where it should be. that if you would hit their chests, all you could hear would be an empty sound.

“you see, i love my mother as much as i hate her.”

(he thinks he might love her as much as he loves himself — which is almost nothing. how can he love someone if he cannot even love himself? oh, but at the same time he does love her, more than life. more than death. more than anything in the world. he loves her in a way only a child can love their mother and yet, at the same time, he hates her in the exact same manner.)

“i cannot forgive her, and yet i crave for her to tell me she’s proud of me. silly, isn’t it?”

he wants her to braid his hair and sing him to sleep just one more time. one more time, and then they can go back pretending they never even met. that she is not his mother and he is not her son. just one more time.

his mother has braided his hair one time in his whole life; when he was created. he kept the braid until it fell apart. after it did, he cut it off — no one but his mother should be able to braid it ever again.

you once made a grave mistake of comparing him to her — visually, they are oh so similar. you never heard him scream at you the way he did that night. he was screaming at you and yet you knew he was just screaming at her. you know he’s jealous — in comparison to him, you are not similar to your creator in the slightest.

i am not like my mother, he’d scream. i might’ve been created in the image of her, my flesh her flesh and her bone my bone, but i am not like my mother. i am not her. i’ve never been and never will be.

“don’t tell her any of that, though. she doesn’t deserve to know. if you do, i will find you,” he says after a long silence. you just nod with an emotionless face.

(sometimes, he wonders if you feel anything at all. perhaps, raiden ei forgot to make you able to experience that. or perhaps, it was just another flaw that made you imperfect in her eyes. she’s cruel, your creator and his mother.)

you know he wants you to tell her that and he knows. he also knows that raiden ei will know all of this before the next sunrise — for you are her creation too and you have always stayed at her side, even after being discarded.

he feels sorry. for who? he doesn’t know. perhaps, for no one. perhaps, for the both of you.

(perhaps, deep in his heart, a part of him feels sorry for his mother too.)

hi. missed me yet? please remember to reblog and leave feedback! it helps me a lot and also makes it easier for me to improve my writing :] i hope you have a wonderful day/night!

[ganyuslily]

DEATH AT YOUR HANDS (WOULD BE THE CLOSEST THING TO WITNESSING YOUR LOVE).

a single tear rolls down your cheek and he kisses it off. he’s cruel like that, your lover.

il dottore x gn!reader

bittersweet. more bitter than sweet. an unhealthy relationship? kissing (barely even described). reader has hair that is long enough to be able to be tucked behind their ear

please remember to reblog and leave feedback!! :]

the doctor never lies. at least, that’s what he tells you; and you have never had any reason not to believe him.

oh but the thing is you had, you had countless reasons not to believe him. yet in your eyes, his word was the absolute truth. a truth that seemed weird under a certain light, a truth that seemed to have been made out of broken pieces and glued together without any effort. a truth that under all of that was just a simple lie, but a lie created by him nevertheless. because of that, it was the truth.

(after all, he never told you he loved you.)

lies run deep within this world — they corrupt it from the inside out and change its’ shape and form (that’s what he says, at least). they bend the truth and create a new one; and if what dottore says is true — and it has to be if it comes from his mouth. it has to be, — you want for one specific lie to become the new truth. you want to reform this sick world and twist it, destroy it and create it anew, do anything, everything, that would make him tell you those three words you ache to hear. even if they would be uttered with venom and hatred. even if they were untrue.

they would be the most beautiful lie you have ever heard.

expecting him to love you is laughable. perhaps, experiencing death at his hands would be the closest thing to witnessing what it feels like to be loved by him. if there would have bewn a guarantee for that, you would’ve given up your life in a heartbeat.

the second harbinger is a scientist at heart — nothing more and nothing less. and so, because of that, expecting anything that isn’t rational and fact-based from him is stupid. expecting him to talk about his emotions is naïve; but that’s exactly what you are at your core — naïve.

it’s dumb. it’s horribly stupid, having any kind of feelings for dottore and you know it. even though you’re well aware of that, you can’t stop yourself from falling for him, with the way his eyes soften when they meet yours. with the way he looks and holds you.

(with the way he murmurs sweet nothings into your ear, with the way you can feel his breath on your neck. with the way one of his hands ghosts over the small of your back. with the way he lets himself let go off the walls he has built around himself when he’s all alone with you, with the way his mask is nowhere to be seen. with the way it almost seems like he loves you. it almost seems like he could. almost. almost. almost.)

a single tear rolls down your cheek and he kisses it off. softly. kindly. gently.

he’s cruel like this, your lover.

you know what someone once said “he’s kind of a red flag but if lights can turn green so can he!!!!” and that is so true. he’s just confused okay trust me guys he loves the reader HE DOES

[ganyuslily]

SAORSA.

you heard the folks whisper about the lonely boy living in the woods. you wonder if he might be the one to gift you the freedom they all so often speak of.

outcast!kazuha x princess!reader

fluff. reader is referred to as a lady/miss/princess! (although no specific prns are used)

kazuha. yknow. . . “saorsa” means freedom, liberty:]

“are you the outcast the older women speak so much of?”

the young man sitting a tree trunk slowly looks up at you. his eyes are a striking color of red; it reminds you of your kingdom’s maple trees every autumn and at the same time of the color a field takes after a fierce battle. he is beautiful — he is awfully beautiful. the kind of beautiful that would make all heads in the room turn after him in court.

you can feel him scan your attire and your face (perhaps you should’ve made yourself seem a little bit more presentable. but honestly, who has times for things like that while being on the run). both of them are ruined — your face littered with scratches and bruises, and your royal dress that got ripped after walking through the woods has definitely seen its’ better days. in your defense, being a runaway was not an easy task.

“perhaps i am. perhaps i’m not. depends on who’s asking,” he answers while resuming his sculpture. he doesn’t look phased at all and you thank the archons for that. “who might you be, miss?”

“depends who’s asking,” you parrot his first words. if you’d look at him closely, you’d see him stifle his laugh. “are you going to report me to the knights stationing in the nearest village?”

his eyes flash with some kind of recognition and it makes you tense up — perhaps, he will turn you in and he knows who you are even though he’s been living as an outcast. the news of the princess’ disappearance has spread through the country quickly. way too quickly for your liking.

you see, you always wanted freedom. you always wanted the freedom your kingdom was so well-known for and yet, you hadn’t had any kind of idea of what it meant to be free. the crowned princess of the kingdom that was famous for it was anything but free. how cruel.

“i’m not going to, miss,” the moment he says those words your whole body relaxes.

“please stop calling me miss.”

“if you say so, miss,” the man answers you in what seems to be a joking manner. you don’t feel the same disrespect from him that you felt from people back in the castle, though.

“are you teasing me?” you huff, sitting down on the trunk next to the one he’s sitting on. he only laughs and god, does he have a pretty laugh. flustered, you look down on the figure he’s holding in his hands. you really should get it together! you cannot fall for the first man that shows you a mere ounce of kindness.

“pretty,” you murmur to yourself in wonder. (he is pretty. you wonder if he noticed you were saying it about him too and not only about the figure.) “can i ask who’s that going to be?”

“i’m not sure. perhaps it might be me. perhaps it might be you. there is no way of telling where my inspiration is going to take me.”

you hum in acknowledgment while putting your head on the palms of your hands. you’re exhausted from all the running. you truly meant what you said when you called the sculpture pretty. even though it has no specific features for now, you can still see the care he put into it and the experience behind every movement he makes while sculpting it with a little knife.

for some reason, he already feels more like home than the place you came from did — and oh, how silly is that. he should never feel like that to someone like you and yet, you can’t find it in yourself to care.

“i’m kaedehara kazuha,” the young man finally introduces himself after putting down his work and looking at you. he smiles; and oh, your cheeks heat up at that mere action.

perhaps, he might be the one to teach you what the freedom everyone speaks of so much is.

[ganyuslily]

WHISPERED PROMISES.

love, oh love. it works in many mysterious ways, but really, does it have to hurt so much?

k. ayato, k. kazuha, dainsleif x gn!reader (separate). side ayaka x gn!reader in ayato’s.

bittersweet. in general noble!au; fallen noble!au in kazuha’s specifically; bodyguard!au for dain’s. i enjoy this trope (read; noble) quite a lot actually

note: if you’d let me give u pinky promise kisses then i wouldn’t have to scream your name atop of every roof in the city of my hearttttt

K. AYATO — CYPRESSUS CUSTOS.

kamisato ayato never thought that he’d be anything but first.

he is the head of the kamisato clan, the most wanted and eligible man in the whole of inazuma — and yet, even though he has thousands at his feet, he wants no one else than you.

but, even though he wants you (and perhaps, the small conversations and time spent drinking tea together tells him you want him too), at the end of the day, he is a rational man. and precisely because he is a rational man and the head of the clan, it’s needs come first and before his own.

they’re powerful, his advisors whisper, but not powerful enough. (not powerful enough for him.) perhaps, we should arrange a wedding between them and the young lady. we could use their influence — but you need someone far more influential than them on your side.

he agrees — naturally he does. he is a rational man, after all. ayaka is good; better than he ever was or will be. she deserves you, far more than he does.

at the end of the day, it turns out he’s powerless, in a way; his influence limited and his hands tied behind his back. you are betrothed to another — to his own sister, for god’s sake, — to which he agreed himself. and so kamisato ayato comes second for the first time in his life.

it’s a bitter feeling.

K. KAZUHA — ACER PALMATUM.

you were supposed to get married.

“in comparison to me, you still do have a reputation to keep, dove.”

the art of pretending comes to kazuha quite easily. it always did, to be honest; to pretend to care on all the meetings, to pretend to care for all the rules, to pretend to care for the meaningless small talk. he’s mastered the art of it by now — so tell him, why does his heart hurt when pain flashes through your face?

it was always him and you, you and him. you were inseparable since you were kids — not that you knew it was but a simple plan on your parents’ part to make your future wedding much easier. and it was all going so well, so well, until the kaedehara clan lost it all. in a blink of an eye, kazuha was no one and the engagement was called off immediately.

“will i ever see you again?” you ask, voice just above a whisper, toying with the ring he gave you when the both of you were fifteen.

“naturally.”

he lies to you for the first and the last time.

DAINSLEIF — THE TWILIGHT SWORD.

this is perhaps one of many curses that dainsleif bears with him in his heart — to watch the one he loves be so close but so far out of his reach at the same time.

he is not supposed to be the one to gift you flowers; he is not the one supposed to see your smile; he is not the one that is supposed to hold your hands and he is definitely not the one that is supposed to have the right to love you.

and yet, he still does all of those things. quietly. gently. shyly. in a way only he can — in a way only the closest bodyguard of yours can. in a way only dainsleif can.

because, that’s what he wants to feel like — only dainsleif, no one more and no one less. because with you, it finally feels enough. his heart does not ache as much as it usually does and the sword feels lighter in his hand.

yet it is not enough. because at the end of the day, he is the twilight sword and you are one of the khaenri’ah royal family’s heirs.

he would never be enough. not in this lifetime, at least.

[ganyuslily]

AFTER THE STORM.

scaramouche has learned his lesson a long time ago — a god does not forgive that easily. especially, when that god is also your mother.

ei&scaramouche (platonic/familial)

angst (i am feeling silly)

yesterday i offered you a cute fic. today? an angsty scarei fic. tomorrow? who knows

raiden ei’s words shoot to kill when arguing. her verbal fights are the exact same as her physical ones; quick, sharp, straight to the point. able to spot her opponent’s weakness in mere seconds. hurtful. precise. aiming to kill.

more often than not, the one standing on the opposite side was her son. she had no mercy for him — son or not, whoever stood against her had to bear the wrath of her lightning.

(she was always a strict mother, after all.)

their fights are always so cruel. bringing up the past, bringing up the insecurities. recalling regrets and past mistakes, shooting insults at one another as if it were a contest. a competition. something that had to be won at any cost.

what seemed to somehow be even worse though that the fight itself was the aftermath. the silence that would follow. the eyes of his mother boring into his.

raiden ei does not apologize. she is a god, after all — a god is never wrong. on the other hand, he had almost become one. something that could’ve been but never was. something that sometimes haunts him in his dreams. something that he still sees when he looks into his mother’s face. and so he puts his hands together, his eyes looking at her in a silent prayer and

he

begs.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”

the words seem to spill out of him like from a broken glass. he can’t stop them, can’t stop the desperate sound of his voice, can’t stop the feeling of needing for her to at least look at him.

“i didn’t mean to— i didn’t mean to say that, you know it, you know i didn’t mean to!”

she extends her hand and caresses his face. he leans into her touch and for a second, all that she has done wrong seems like an illusion, a cruel trick of his mind. but in the end, she takes her hand back and her eyes become distant again.

she is a mother and

he is a son.

sadly,

she is a god before she is a mother.

sadly,

he is her son before he is anything else.

scaramouche has learned his lesson a long time ago — a god does not forgive that easily. especially, when that god is also your mother.

and still, like a fool, he awaits for her to tell him that he deserves to be forgiven.