//ext. quiet corner away from festivities - night, fourth of july.
@heyyomarch
what do you mean?
i- i don't understand, why can't we try?
..are you giving up on us?
this. us. we're not working.
He thought he was having a good day with March, he wanted to believe it so badly. Afterall Ash went to Tennessee with him, met his father, his step family, his friends. Afterall Ash did the scariest thing in going public, declaring his love and more for March, for the rest of the world to see. They were good right? They were getting better, getting through this. They were supposed to figure it out together.
He could tell something was off since the start of the day. Since Asher's opening. Since the scandal came out. It was why he put aside all the invites from their friends today, he let March decide on their day, he just wanted March happy. He looked happy at first, and then he didn't. Ashton couldn't really process everything the moment March sat him down to talk that night. Love shouldn't be this hard, so why was it? Ash really thought March would've been his forever, they could've worked through the long distance, the stress, the public eye, the ugly words. He didn't mind the distance, the lack of time together, their two distinct sports worlds determined to pull them apart from each other every chance they had to even say hi, to even say I love you. He didn't mind the absence, ..or maybe he did.
Maybe, buried under so much love for each other, maybe they both did.
He remembered the tears, the confusion, the messy explanation, he remembered asking if he could fix it, asking what he could do. He remembered begging, not to give up on them. He remembered his heart breaking, cracks he thought were healing just made the crush all that much quicker and more painful. He remembered being pathetic, he made it hard for March to stand by his decision. That was wrong of him. He should've heard him out, and let him go. But Ash had done that once before and he wasn't going to not try to hold this relationship together, as futile as the effort was, at least he can't say he didn't try to fix it like with Claude.
However, at some point in their long, long agonizing conversation, Ash saw the hurt and pain in March's eyes. God, he loved him so much he didn't want to let him go, but he also loved him too much to not let him go.
At some point Ashton stopped fighting what March wanted. Too much tears had been shed, voice completely hoarse trying to convince him, maybe convince both of them that this could still work. It couldn't. He remembered them sharing a kiss, one last time (please) to say goodbye, and he let March walk away from him.
He let another best friend walk away from him again, all because he fell in love, and he couldn't make it work.
Love shouldn't be this hard, so why was it?
He should've known better - love wasn't meant for someone like him.
