River
River's week had been non-stop, to say the least. From the tour, to Freya's mom, and Lennon's prostitution, it had been a non-stop rollercoaster ride, especially emotionally. Ups and downs and twists and turns, and truth be told, he was pretty exhausted. As much as he enjoyed the tour with every cell of his body, he couldn't help but wait for it to be over. Sure, it wasn't home he could go after this, he needed to make sure he made it to Boston in time for the funeral, but at least he could try to relax, to find the time to recoup so he could try to be strong again, because he had to for the people he cared about. These were the things he thought about as he waited backstage in his green room, surrounded by his parents and his brother, whom were flown out with Lennon's help. He wasn't happy with the boy for how he managed to do it, but he couldn't deny that he was happy to be surrounded by his loved ones again, down south in Georgia. Tristan's Georgia.
After meeting the boy, he always thought that his first time to the state would be with him. A trip to his family restaurant, see the places he grew up. Only now, the blond was no one near, back home in LA. He knew that he still owed the boy an explanation on everything, on why he was acting so weird. He wanted to think about what he was going to do with their relationship during his time away, but he honestly hasn't had the time. He did miss him, he couldn't deny that. He just doubted if he was even good enough to be with him. It was then that he was knocked from his train of thought by his parents asking him more things about how his music was coming along, and he tried to answer with a smile on his face, wanting to enjoy as much of the time as he had with them.
Tristan
Tristan had missed River every second since he'd left for tour, and when he found out that River's last show was in Georgia he'd started planning. He talked to management and let them know he was flying to River's show to surprise him so they'd put him on River's security list. Getting on the plane leaving LA felt amazing, he would be back in Georgia soon, in his home state seeing his boy performing on a big stage. Maybe he'd have time to take River to Atlanta and show him around if the other had a few days off, because he felt like they needed time together since everything had been happening and keeping them apart.
Tristan was thrilled as he boarded the plane he was about to be back in his home state watching his boy on a big stage. When he landed at the Atlanta airport Tristan headed towards the taxi's and cars. He was met by a guy with a sign holding his name, sent from management and he smiled thankfully. He was glad that they thought ahead and sent someone for him because riding in a taxi for three hours would have been very expensive. After they left the airport they stopped for a few minutes for Tristan to buy River some flowers as congratulations for finishing his three city tour. He didn't know exactly what kind were his favorite, or if he even really liked flowers, but he hoped that they made River smile at least. The three hour drive from the airport to Statesboro felt like forever, he was so excited to see River that he could've sworn it took 6 hours from how anxious he was to just be there already. Once they arrived at the venue Tristan was let off at the back door near the talent entrance where he went through security. It didn’t take long since they knew he was coming. As he made his way through the hallways and towards River’s dressing room door he got nervous. He hoped River was happy to see him. Tristan reached up and knocked on the door a few times biting at his lips as he waited for it to open, clutching the flowers behind his back so River wouldn’t see them right away.
River
The second he heard the knock on the door, the boy didn't think much of it. Maybe it was a crew member calling him for another soundcheck, or Hunter asking him another million questions about what his set would be like. His brother, Roman, instantly offered to get the door, and once he opened it, he took a step back to reveal to River who had been on the other side. "Tristan," he said, a surprised look erupting onto his face, the name indicating to his brother who the blonde was. Of course he knew everything about their dilemma, only not so much about where River stood on the issue now. He stood up, before asking, "What are you doing here? I-I mean, not in a bad way or anything, I'm just.. surprised." Not doubt about that. Last he knew the boy was back in LA. There was no way he thought that he would end up in Statesboro to see him perform. "Mom, Dad. This is Tristan, my uh.." He thought about what to say, not sure if he wanted to introduce him as his boyfriend only to end up taking it back later on.
"This is Tristan," he finished, leaving it at that, avoiding the curious glare he was receiving from Roman. He watched as his parents interacted with the blonde, shaking hands with bright smiles on their faces, his father telling him some silly joke about lion losing at poker because he was playing with a bunch of cheetahs, all while his mind was reveling on the fact that they boy came all that way just to see him.
Tristan
Tristan was surprised when River's brother opened the door he didn't know River's family was here, but he didn't mind. "Hey Riv! I thought I'd surprise you for your last show, especially since we're in Georgia!" he said excitedly as he walked in the door and sat down his bag. He shook River's parents hands and laughed at his dad's corny joke, trying not to focus on the fact that River had avoided the word boyfriend in front of his parents mere seconds ago. "Oh I got these for you, as a Congrats on finishing your first tour Mr. Superstar," he said smilng as he handed River the flowers that he'd been holding behind his back. Roman was looking at River weirdly and Tristan couldn't help but wonder if any of them knew who he was or if they just thought he was River's weird friend who flew across the country for him.
He ended up sitting down on a couch next to Roman and River, he wanted so badly to hold River's hand or pull him outside to talk and just hug him but he didn't want to intrude on River's limited time with his family. "So guys how are you liking Georgia?", he asked River's Mom and Dad wanting them to like him.
River
As River took the flowers, it was as if everything halted for him. Sure, he could overhear his mom saying something about how they tried to sightsee as much as they could before surprising River at the airport, but they wanted to do most of it tomorrow, even if River had to catch a flight to New York City that same night. His dad took over, saying something, before his mother noticed the way that River was staring at the bouquet, like it was the most precious thing he's ever held, which it sort of was since no one has ever given him flowers before. Like ever. Flowers in movies were usually given to be romantic on a first date. Other than that, or Mother's Day, flowers meant that a person deeply cared about you, and thought you were as beautiful as the flowers they were giving you. That's the message he was getting from Tristan right now. And it was only making his internal thought much more complicated. Instantly, he heard his mother and father make up some excuse about being hungry, being sure to drag Roman with them. River wanted to dispute it, since they had all just ordered in chinese food to the dressing room, like they used to do all the time back home in Seattle, but he knew that his parents were just trying to give them two boys some alone time, clearly figuring out what they were from the gift Tristan had brought. The last thing he could see was his brother mouthing "What the hell," before the door closed behind him, the room going from five to two in almost ten seconds flat.
Tristan
Tristan smiled and listened to River's mom talk about sight seeing and stuff tomorrow. "I can be your tour guide if you want...I've lived in Atlanta all my life but if you want it to just be family I understand," he offered trying to be sweet liking how nice his family seemed. Before Tristan could process it River's parents and brother were leaving with an excuse for food. "Well they left fast...I didn't want to interrupt family time," he mumbled looking at River frowning slightly wondering why everyone left so suddenly. He reached over and linked his hand with River's glad that he was here for his baby's show. "Do you like your flowers? Is it too much?", he said hoping River was happy that he was here.
River
"Yeah. I think they've caught on that I'm an adult, with a boyfriend, who might want alone time, I guess." He smiled, putting the flowers down on the table in front of the big vanity mirror, before his hands were filled again, only this time with Tristan's hands. He smiled over as he said, "I love them. That's really sweet of you to get them for me. To come all the way out here for me," he said, knowing that it really was a lot for the blond to do for him. But he appreciated it so much. "How have you been?" he asked, looking into his blue irises, as if he could find the answer he was searching for deep within them.
Tristan
"Oh they know I'm your boyfriend? I didn't know if they knew since you didn't introduce me as that....plus Roman kept giving you weird looks," he said wondering if they were having a secret conversation through glances or something. Tristan was so happy his surprise had worked and no one on the crew or on security had blabbed to River about him coming. He'd traveled across the country for River and he'd do it again in a heartbeat. "I couldn't miss it babe. I would've come to your first show but I had studio time.", he said smiling at him still overwhelmed that he was seeing River, it'd been a few days but they'd both been so busy before he left that it felt like so much longer. "I've been fine...just writing, recording, and missing you," he said blushing at his last admission. "How've you been? Are you having fun?", he asked wanting to know everything about what was going on with River. He was a bit torn at this moment whether he should let River answer or if he should just kiss him since it felt like they hadn't kissed in forever. He didn't know if they'd be alone that long so he leaned in and connected their lips before River could even start talking. He'd missed him so much, how nice their lips felt together and how his heart raced when they kissed or cuddled. Tris was falling hard for River and he just wanted to be with him all the time. He moved his lips slowly kissing River lovingly as he crawled into his lap cupping his face gently his other hand holding onto Rivers slim waist.
River
"You brought me flowers. They aren't the most clueless people on the planet, Tris." He looked down at their hands wrapped in one another as he went on. "I mean, I never fully told them, except Roman because I tell him everything, but the look that my mom gave me, I know she knows." Which meant there would be a lot of questions later. Questions he didn't know if he wanted to answer. He looked back up at him, about to continue answering his questions before he felt the boy's lips press into his, the blonde's hands making contact with his body, and he followed suit. Their kiss went familiar, like coming home and sleeping in your own bed after being away on vacation. It was safe and comfortable and reminded of being back at his home with everyone else in Los Angeles. Only while he was kissing him, he wasn't totally thinking about him. His thoughts were elsewhere, on other things and other people, on the lies he told about this relationship. If something was good, then it was good, right?
He knew he shouldn't be feeling this way, that feeling deep down in his stomach. He pulled away slowly, before smiling softly at him, pulling his hand and walking with him over to the couch on the side of the dressing room. "Sit with me, Tristan. I, uh.. I think we should t-talk."
Tristan
"Well I didn't know they would be here...like I'm sorry I kind of inadvertently told them about us I know you probably weren't ready for them to know," he mumbled biting at his lip feeling bad. When he heard that Roman knew about them he smiled, River told his brother, one of the most important people to him in the world and that was a big step in Tristan's mind. Their kiss was amazing as always and Tristan wished they could just stay like this for hours but that wasn't possible. River had a show to do and his parents would probably come back in a little while. As much as he wanted to kiss River the whole time they were gone he knew they had lots to catch up on about how River's tour was going and stuff. So when they broke apart Tristan leaned in and pecked his lips lightly once more before smiling widely at him. /I think I'm falling in love with you/ ran through Tristan's mind but he kept quiet, it was too soon. He didn't even know it for sure and he wasn't going to say it till he was one hundred percent certain. Tristan followed River to the couch and sat next to him still holding onto his hand. "Talk? When you say it like that...it sounds scary," he said nerves starting to bubble in his stomach.
River
"No, it's alright. Really, I should have told them sooner anyways." He just didn't know how soon was too soon with them. He only just came out, and they were incredibly supportive of it, but he didn't want to put too much on them at once. River smiled again at him, a little more nervously this time, as he thought about the right words to say in this scenario. He didn't want to hurt Tristan, and he still wanted to be friends and understand exactly where he was coming from with everything. Because no matter what had gone on between the two, he never wanted to lose Tristan as a friend. "I just... I wanted to talk to you about everything. How I'm f-feeling, exactly." He kept his eye contact down on the floor, feeling too nervous to keep eye contact with the blond and wanting to make sure that he focused on keep control of his stutter. "Remember when I told you that I lied about us to Seventeen magazine? Well.. It's been bothering me lately. I've honestly never wanted to be that guy to lie about his relationships but I just wasn't ready. I know you said it was fine, but it wasn't, Tris. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have been afraid to show you to the world. But I was, and I am. And it's not because of you, but it's because of me. I know it might have hurt you in some way, but I just w-wanted you to know that I'm sorry for that. It was s-so wrong of me."
Tristan
"Yea it hurt when I found out about it but it's not my decision Riv, it's yours. If you aren't ready I'm not going to push you, I care about you too much to have something like that affect us. I promise I'm fine River...I know you feel bad about it, but I don't want you to. I want you to be happy, with what we have now. It's just for us, no one else can mess it up. The paps can't make up rumors that one of us is cheating or we're breaking up, because no one knows...One day you'll be ready to tell everyone, and I'll still be by your side holding your hand. I don't want you worrying about it love.. I'm totally fine. I promise I'd tell you if I wasn't," Tristan replied lifting River's chin a bit so he could look in his eyes and make sure he knew he was telling the truth. Tristan just wanted them to be good, he'd missed having River around and being able to curl up next to him at night. Hopefully after River realized Tristan wasn't hurt by what he'd done they'd go back to how they were before.
River
"But that's the thing. I'm not entirely fine, Tristan." He sighed before he looked over at the flowers the boy brought for him, wondering if he was really doing the right thing in this whole scenario or not. Still, he knew he had to make a decision, to do what felt right to him, honestly. "Look... Whenever I imagined myself in a relationship, I always saw myself with someone like you. Someone who cares me about me so much, and just wants nothing more than for me to be happy. And to be honest, I want the same thing for you. I just don't know if I can give that to you right now. Because what I want more than anything is to have no chains on anything, just to be open and free about what it is we are, but I can't. I'm too scared to do that right now. And maybe one day I'll be ready, but I don't want to ask you to wait or to lie just for me. I just want you to be able to be you, to be open and free about it all. I just... I don't think we should be together right now."
Tristan
Tristan heard the words and he could feel his heart breaking. "But River...I want to be with you. I don't want it to be over," he said his voice breaking at the thought of going back to the house and not being with River anymore. He'd be alone again, with no one to talk to and no one who cared about him. Yea he wanted River to be happy, but he made him happy. In this moment he wished they'd met under different circumstances and then it'd all be different, then River wouldn't be breaking up with him. "Please don't do this," he whispered out not being able to hold the tears back any longer. He had so much he wanted to say, he wanted to plead with River and give him all these reasons they could stay together but he had a lump growing in his throat and he felt like he couldn't breathe. The most important person to him was ripping away the best thing he'd ever had and basically proving to him that he'd never be good enough to keep someone around. Tristan was crumbling, it'd taken him so long to become comfortable enough to let someone into his heart again and it was all being ripped away so suddenly. He hid his face in his hands not wanting the boy he cared about so much to see him breaking on the inside and out.
River
He had a feeling that this would happen. He felt horrible as he watched Tristan fall apart, as if it was the situation with him and Julian again, only this time he was experiencing it from Julian's perspective. He heard as Tristan begged for him to stay with him, and a huge part of him wanted to. He just knew that if he did, it might end worse than it is now. He moved closer to the boy, pulling him close for a hug, whispering in his ear. "You know I still care about you, I do. I always will. B-But I think that this is what's best for us for now, Tristan. You h-have to know that I n-never wanted to hurt you. Not ever. I'm s-so sorry."
Tristan
Tristan sobbed as River held him in his arms, he'd never expected this to happen when he excitedly got on the plane this morning. "I'll always want to be with you...", he mumbled trying to get out his words without choking on his own sobs. He let himself curl into River for a moment, taking in how good his cologne smelled and how safe he felt in his arms before pulling away. Tristan didn't know what to say, he just tried to calm his sobs. He was starting to love River and the other would never know...unless by some miracle they got back together when River was more ready.
River
River stared back at him, after he pulled away, the muffled words playing over in his mind. He didn't know if he had heard it correctly, but he also didn't know if he could handle hearing it again, if he did hear it correctly. This sucked. All of it. He felt it deep in his chest. He thought he was doing the right thing, but it just seemed like the wrong thing. But no matter what, he wasn't ready. And this is just the consequence of him not being ready. It still sucked more than anything. "Y'know... I'd still like it if you stayed for the s-show, if you wanted to and all."
Tristan
"Of course I'm staying...I came here to see you be a rockstar on stage...I can't miss it," he said wiping his tears and trying to force a smile on his face. Tristan was hurting but he usually didn't cry infront of people, especially people who were the reason he was breaking. He was about to ask River if they could just cuddle till he had to get ready but there was a knock on the door. It was River's family coming back from whatever excuse they had made up earlier. Tristan quickly wiped his eyes and got up off the couch. "Good luck Riv," he whispered in his ear pecking his cheek quickly before grabbing his things and excusing himself. He found an extra bathroom backstage and hid in there finally letting himself break completely. He only started pulling himself back together when he heard the opening act start.
River
River nodded at his reply, wanting to say something back but being interrupted by the knock on the door. He stood up quickly, yelling, "One second," at the door, as he watched as the boy wiped his face, his heart warming as he knew that Tristan would stay to watch him perform. He knew deep down that they would be okay after this. At least, he hoped so. He smiled softly as he felt one final kiss on his cheek, watching as he disappeared out of the room together, leaving him behind with his parents and his brother all looking at him with questions in their eyes. Not like he wanted to explain it now. He didn't even think he would be able to perform tonight. But he had to do what he had to do.
