#gdmli

[gdmli]

When life hands you an existential crisis...buy a plane ticket?

By Laura Miller

18 months ago, I had one of those "What am I doing with my life?!?" moments. 

Not one of the little moments that comes at the end of a really long week, or after a particularly stressful meeting, or even the kind that comes after I've made an extensive Pro/Con list about my job/life/priorities (Obviously, I am not in any way Type A. And I am NEVER sarcastic).

This was the kind of "What am I doing with my life?" moment that felt like it was happening on a much deeper level than the typical millennial-style crises I had previously survived. Despite having a Plan, following that Plan, correctly readjusting that Plan when one of life's many speed bumps came my way… and having the Plan eventually go the exact Way Things Are Supposed To Happen? I was feeling woefully unfulfilled.

I had the job I was good at but didn't enjoy (who likes to work?). I lived in a city with an endless supply of fun things to do but could no longer bring myself to do any of them (who has the time?). I was involved in organizations that felt important and I cared deeply about, but didn't feel as if I was doing enough (who can ever do enough?). I felt detached. I needed a change. I needed to wake the heck up and figure out what my purpose in life was while I still felt like I could change things! So I did the completely rational, totally normal thing that all 30 year-olds looking at their lives do…I put my notice in at my job, sold half of my belongings, and bought a one-way ticket to Sydney, Australia. Like I said, totally rational. Totally normal. 

And totally…the best choice I have ever made.

18 months later, I find myself sitting in a room with 30 people who are just like me. We're a group of people who want to do more, see more, feel more, and most importantly? Make a difference. We all want to figure out our why. I love this! Because if I've learned anything on this weird, awesome journey of self-discovery I've been on for the past couple of years, it's that a sense of community is essential to the discovery of my why. Introspection is always difficult, but I find it really quite easy to lie to myself when I'm journaling or making my lists or rewriting my Plan. The lies I tell myself always end up falling into the same buckets as they always have. Who likes to work? Who has the time? Who can ever do enough?

But lying to my classmates? That's just not going to fly here. We're all here to find our purpose, and if I don't lay it all out and speak openly and honestly about my passions and values, I'm letting down more than myself. I'm letting down my group. And my class. And, oh god, oh no…my community. I can't do that. I won't. We're a team, and I love that about us. I mean…we're already the #bestclassever, right?

When I hopped on the plane a year and a half ago with just a backpack on my back and a huge smile on my face, I felt invincible. Finally, I was going to figure out my purpose. I was going to experience all sorts of new things and meet new people and suddenly in a flash of genius I just knew I was going to see what I was supposed to do and then do it. Which is why it was particularly surprising when 15 hours later, I was standing shoulder-to-shoulder on a bus in Beijing, a head taller than everyone around me, sobbing uncontrollably asking myself "Oh my god, NOW what am I doing with my life?". See, I wanted to find my purpose the easy way. I wanted it to come to me. I wanted to be swiping through the dating app of life experiences, swipe right on a particularly interesting idea, and voila! I had matched with my purpose. It's not quite that easy. But I was starting a sometimes hilarious, sometimes terrifying, sometimes exhausting path toward finding that purpose, and in the months that followed, I realized 3 very important things about myself:

I love an adventure. And it doesn't have to be the big "fly to the other side of the world and live out of a backpack for 3 months" type of adventure. It just has to feel like I'm doing something new, just for me.

I love people. People of all kinds. I love the angry bus drivers in a small beach town in Australia who weren't afraid to tell me exactly what I should and shouldn't do. I love the vineyard owner in New Zealand who let me work and live at the vineyard and write and share life stories with him for a month. I love the man I bumped into on a corner in Bangkok who ended up giving me the most amazing tour of the city and its temples. I even love the guy who scammed me out of $10 in Chiang Mai because the level of my stupidity was hilarious and I absolutely deserved to learn that lesson. I need people. I need that sense of community everywhere I go.

I just plain need a community. I need a place where I'm invested in its success and it's invested in mine. I need a place that I can help grow and improve and it does the same thing for me. This can come in the form of people, or a job, or a city, but it's best if it's all 3.

And suddenly…aha! The light bulb turned on! 

I understood that the community piece is what I'd been missing. That level of mutual investment is irreplaceable for me. So when I truly thought about it, there was only one real solution. I had to throw my worn, dusty clothes in my backpack, call my parents back in Des Moines, and say "I'm coming home". And then I had to say to their faces when I got there, "I'm not going back to Denver. I'm staying here. Staying, staying. For good." And it was then that I saw that I had only begun to discover my purpose.

So now, a year later, sitting in this classroom with these fascinating people, digging deep into these lessons I've learned about myself and listening to the lessons they've learned in kind, is another beautiful part of this journey. We talk about our strengths, our values, our passions, our beliefs…and I'm so excited that these conversations are happening right when and where they are. I'm hearing things from new perspectives, I'm seeing new approaches, and I'm feeling really really good. Really. And then…

"So now I'd like you all to take the next 10 minutes to begin crafting your purpose statements. These don't have to be perfect, it's just a first draft, but try to work through what we've discussed today and put it on paper."

Our fantastic facilitator, Dr. Christi Hegstad throws out a completely reasonable challenge after a day of working on ourselves and Oh. My. God. I am not ready for this. I am in NO WAY ready for this. I was feeling so awesome. Very…purposeful, if you will. But committing it to paper is a totally different ballgame, and I'm not sure I know myself well enough yet to do this. Truthfully…I completely panic. I scratch down a bunch of half-statements, I cross things out, I move things around, and I hate it all. But then I see other people doing the same thing and I realize…these are the people I want to find my purpose with. These are the people who take this seriously and want to get it right. These are the people who I get to work with to improve our community. And not just now, not just during this program or this year…these are the people who I will see and know and work with for as long as I'm a part of this community. And suddenly committing to my purpose isn't so scary.

So my purpose statement? It's not perfect. It's definitely not fit for public consumption yet. Maybe I'll be brave in a couple of weeks and share it with you then. But I can't stop thinking about it. I'm constantly reworking, rewording, and re-imagining it all day long. And this is exactly what I hoped it would be for all of us, because suddenly I'm not that woman feeling stagnant asking "what am I doing with my life?", and I'm not that woman crying on a bus saying "Oh god, NOW what am I doing with my life?". I find myself saying "what do I WANT to do with my life?". Just 4 hours spent in a room filled with dedication and inspiration, and I'm asking "what do I GET to do with my life?" Purpose is a powerful thing. And hopefully this means I won't be buying any one-way tickets again. Round-trip is where it's at, because that's how I get back to my community. Des Moines, stay beautiful. I'm going to help you do it, I promise.

[gdmli]

Mid-Year Retreat - Thursday, January 10, 2019

“Inclusivity and accessibility are NOT the same thing...” - Team IncluZoovity, ‘18

Whoa. Guys. It’s been exactly 139 days since our opening retreat into the GDMLI/CLP/All-the-acronyms program! Feel like a leader extraordinaire yet? I thought so! Given that we have only 125 days left until graduation, it’s safe to say that time is flying by for the TRUE best class ever.  Before you get too sad thinking about graduation...take time to give yourself and the nearest teammate/classmate a high five. You’re doing big things for this community...Des Moines needs you.

A special thank you goes out to our classmate, Chris Eckles, Blank Park Zoo COO Anne Shimerdla, and their amazing team for graciously hosting us for our mid-year retreat!

We began the day with a coffee-fueled Jenga activity in which we all drew cards that helped us act as a certain aspect of a bee community. The possibilities were: the Queen B, a Cleaner, the Undertaker, the Guard, the Builder, a Nurse, the Temperature Controller, and the Forager.  The objective of the activity was to get together with those who help fill out the other necessary components to the colony so you’re able to create your hive together, as one cohesive unit, using colored Jenga blocks.  

Now...we’re all adults.  We’ve all spent a few nights at Up/Down and/or SmashPark practicing our massive Jenga skills which led us up to this very moment.  Suffice it to say, it proved to be a bit trickier than some may have originally thought. (*cough, ME, *cough!) The key is working together as a group.  

The bottom line here is that no matter what your role is, know it and be able to adapt to assist for the greater good for the colony, for the hive, for your workplace, for your non-profit, for Des Moines... dare I say it? Yep...for the world.  (Oh, I went there alright!)

We also owe a special extension of gratitude to last year’s CLP group, Team IncluZoovity, who detailed their project that directly benefitted the Blank Park Zoo.  They were able to capitalize on a pre-existing backpack program and create both a sensory bag, (as shown in the picture below), and visual backpacks along with plans to unveil a state-of-the-art sensory garden.  Wow! This group tackled many hurdles and continue to support their non-profit long after their graduation date has passed.

They made some incredible partnerships with other zoos around the nation along with an organization called Culture City that helped make their dreams come into fruition.  There is truly a lot of good coming from this group alone and we were lucky enough to witness their product outcome and hear from the team members themselves about their story in getting to where they are today.

As Rick from their group highlighted, “inclusivity and accessibility are NOT the same thing...I repeat...inclusivity and accessibility are NOT the same thing.” Crucial words for all of us to keep in our mind as we face current project challenges and any challenges in the future.

Whew..how can we talk about the mid-year retreat and not mention the donor pitches? It’s well-known how fortunate Des Moines is to have such philanthropic support for our non-profits that help sustain the heartbeat of this city.  In another impactful example of how good things happen to great organizations, I think we can all safely say that the donor pitches went great!  Each team crushed it and we were all able to secure the funds necessary to make years worth of lasting change for those who truly needed us to be their voice the most.  If that’s not a good day, I don’t know what is!  

This is my group directly after representing NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Greater Des Moines for our donor pitch and clearly, we had fun! Let’s be real...we look like we’re posing for a poster/brochure that would either have the tagline “teamwork makes the dream work!” or “we don’t always wear matching shirts, but when we do, it’s to raise money for NAMI!”  Both statements are extremely accurate.

(Shameless shout-out to Team #HaveTheConversation!)

Our fearless leader, Amy, led the way for an interactive activity focusing on prototyping and testing given her recent experience at Stanford learning about design thinking.  Yes...that Stanford.  We all knew she was a genius, but she’s just THAT big of a deal.

The key was to take away the barriers we set to our own creative thinking and accept all ideas that come to us and try to create something tangible from it.  We all needed to get our ideas out of our heads and into the world! Amy had me at “don’t be perfect!” Turns out, that’s how I like to roll at any given point so I felt good about this task from the get-go.  Groups were challenged to listen to teammate’s questions, change and adapt their own vision, and even their product based upon feedback from other groups.  It was a true ‘arts and crafts time’ - you know, the leadership grown-up version.

Clearly, we don’t have any fun!

Alan Feirer from Group Dynamic revisited us and, to wildly assume and completely put words into his mouth, he was (possibly) extremely impressed with our progress as influential leaders since he saw us last in August.

We focused in on Encouraging the Heart but took time to highlight all 5 areas of leadership as well.  To summarize, the key take-a-ways from Alan’s presentation would be:

Anyone is capable of encouraging the heart; it’s a simple choice.  Do you care to do a little extra to make someone feel special?

It’s not always about personal victories and celebrations but it is about creating a spirit of community at the same time.

Write a letter to your future self - What would you say? What questions would you have and what goals do you hope to achieve?

BSaAFWYW: (my personal adopted motto) Be Specific and Ask For What You Want - sometimes it really is just that simple.

4 levels of maturity: 1) Selfish 2) Independent 3) Cooperative 4) Generous

Two words: shopping. carts.

In conclusion: we did it.  Another great retreat, another great class...and another great momentous push towards filling 5 areas of need for Des Moines.  And to think, we did all of the hundreds of hours of research, endless team meetings, partnership asks, budgeting, project outline revisions, donor pitch practices,  and more while those around us continued on with their daily lives.

So, because this is my blog post, I’m just going to say it: we may not be the heroes that Des Moines wanted (*highly debatable), but no doubt that we’re the heroes that Des Moines needs.

I have a saying I abide by in my daily life and with my family...It’s to be used when you are standing up for what you believe in against any odds you may face:

“la pelea continúa”  which means: “the fight continues”.

So fight on, friends.  Fight for your non-profits, for this program, for one another and for our community.  If not us, then who?

la pelea continúa.

- Paige Sanders, CLP ‘19

[gdmli]

Comfort-Zone Junkies Anonymous: 3 Tips to Break the Addiction

By: Haley Babcock

According to the character strengths assessment through the VIA Institute on Character, my number one character strength was ‘Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence.’ As an artist, I’m constantly reminded of the beauty and wonder humans are capable of, and I’m innately motivated to find beauty in everything and everyone and help others see it too. My second strongest trait was ‘Humor’ (I also like to think of it as ‘Joy’), which was especially not surprising considering I walked out of the womb onto a stage with a permanent smile and a stand-up mic in hand.

I was, however, surprised to see at the very bottom of the list, dead last, 24 out of 24, was ‘Courage.’ The disclaimer says rating lower in one character strength versus another doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a weakness or an inability on your part, rather it simply means it will take more focus and energy to demonstrate this characteristic. Did that stop me from thinking I’m a big, fat coward? 

Luckily, for the fourth session of Community Connect our topic was: Courage, Confidence, & The Comfort Zone. As we worked through the session with Dr. Christi Hegstad, aka The Deliverer of Truth-Bombs, I realized one of my biggest personal and professional challenges:

Hello, my name is Haley, and I am a Comfort-Zone Junkie.

I’ve been really reliant on my comfort-zone for the last couple of years. I avoid opportunities to make connections with new people. I haven’t been questioning my processes or habits and I definitely have not been taking many chances. It’s been easy to tell myself it’s not so bad; I know the people I know, I do the things I like and don’t do the things I don’t want to do, and I can easily foresee what’s to come. But I’ve also been restless, bored, even complacent, which has truly lead to discontent and anxiety. Luckily, this program popped up just when I needed it, and it’s forcing me out of my comfort zone with the power of a thousand mongooses. Seriously, just writing this blog post is at least 78% out of my comfort zone because I’m not a writer and who am I to share my thoughts on the internet?! 

But heck, everyone else is doing it, so here’s another GIF and my top 3 take-away tips for Breaking the Comfort-Zone Habit:

Tip 1: Define your PURPOSE

Knowing your purpose makes you confident; Confidence = Courage. Dr. Hegstad has really been driving home the need to be rooted in your purpose. Since defining my purpose (“I am a nurturing artist and educator dedicated to mentoring others to build confidence, creativity, and curiosity”) I feel more prepared to serve others, more excited to align myself with new people, and more confident in my abilities. While my purpose is technically in my comfort-zone (because it’s what makes me me) it gives me confidence knowing I have a jumping-off point and I have more courage knowing I have worth, knowing I have something to give other people.

Tip 2: Do your research

I’m currently in the process of building and launching a pilot internship program for college students at work. Not only is this a completely new program, I have also never run an internship program before. When I found out this was going to be in my charge, I was more than ready to bow out before I even had the chance to try! During the last session, one of the mentors at my table (the wonderful, Julie Stewart) talked about how, in the face of leaving her comfort zone, she did as much research as she could to help prepare her for a new challenge and it reminded me: I am a researcher and an over-preparer. For me, having as much knowledge as I can, helps me feel more confident and ready to leave my comfort-zone, so I like to research and ask lots of questions. I’ve now contacted someone in the community who currently runs an internship program, I’m meeting with another person who works with college-age students, and I’m researching similar programs around the country. I may still be anxious about this program, but with research and investigation, I am taking steps to downgrade my comfort-zone from a full armored face mask to a fashionable, tiny hat.

Tip 3: Practice makes Courage

Being asked to do something you’re not experienced with is a sure-fire way to make a RED ALERT sign go off in your mind. Which judging by the chorus of groans in our session, is exactly what happened when Dr. Hegstad asked a room full of adults to draw a portrait of the person across from them in 3 minutes. Well, groans from most with the exception of the artist in the room - me! Coincidentally, I’m currently teaching a unit on self-portrait drawing to my 7th and 8th grade students. Every time I introduce this unit, I’m greeted with terror: “What?! I have to draw MY face?! But I don’t know how to draw a nose! How do I draw hair?? I JUST CAN’T DRAW!” And my response is always the same: To get better at anything, you have to practice. My students constantly impress me with what they’re willing to try and even further, I’m more amazed by the support and encouragement they give each other when they see their classmate is out of their comfort zone. In our session, we discussed that we’re each our own worst critic. After the portraits were drawn in our session, the other person didn’t throw a fit when everyone showed each other their drawings; they responded with warm remarks, kind laughter, and compliments. Just giving “the thing” a try will almost always end up better than we tell ourselves it will and more often than not, there are people around us encouraging our practice, helping us to build courage, and break out of our comfort zones.

[gdmli]

Activism and Leadership

By Daniel Hoffman-Zinnel

The last year, few months, and especially couple of days have sparked additional reflection in me as a leader. Throughout our time in GDMLI, we have been inspired, challenged, and sometimes even moved to act on things we saw as unfair, unjust, or unkind. I sometimes feel we do not discuss action and activism enough. If you are like me, I need more time to ponder, reflect, and process all the activities we complete during class time. I hope we as a class can continue to create dialogue and take action together on things as they arise from our learning in class.

In my reflection and processing of our last class and many classes before, I have determined that I must become more active in my community. Does this mean I will run for public office tomorrow? Probably not. But I am compelled to speak up, speak out, and challenge the process with each of you in order to make our community even stronger, welcoming, and better for future generations.

In my new role as Executive Director at One Iowa, I am required to share my story in order to put a face and voice to the LGBTQ community in Iowa. I must speak up, speak out, and challenge the process for LGBTQ Iowans, especially LGBTQ Iowans who are on the margins and through the intersectionality of their identities and lived experiences represent all race and ethnicities, abilities and disabilities, socio economic statuses, urban and rural, religion and no religion, and so much more. I will share One Iowa's response to a recent executive order banning Muslims and its impact on LGBTQ individuals with all of you this week.

Sometimes I second guess myself. Oftentimes the internalized homophobia stifles my own activism. Most of the time, I feel as if when I do speak up, speak out, or challenge the process, I sound like a broken record. I also sometimes get the feeling that others would rather not hear what I have to say or wonder why I or others continually bring up things that impact individuals in the margins. This second guessing can and does prevent me and others from speaking up, speaking out, and challenging the process. We apologize for stating facts or advocating for ourselves.

In order to be true activists and leaders, we must be unapologetic. While I may always have internal dialogue and not always exemplify the challenge the process characteristic, I am hoping I at least inspire a shared vision in us that we continually attempt to speak up, speak out, and challenge the process with ourselves, each other, and our community.  

On a side note: I stated there were 16 Latinx elected officials out of the 7,500 elected offices in class last week. There is an organization called the Latino Political Network - http://www.lpniowa.com. They are addressing this inequity we see in Iowa.

There are other groups for women, LGBTQ, and other marginalized and oppressed groups out there, which is very exciting to see.

Check out One Iowa - OneIowa.org

My new email: [email protected]