#gender uncertainty

[commieclimbercatgirl]

How do I tell a group of people (including several trans people) who I've met anywhere from a couple of months to a couple weeks ago and introduced myself explicitly saying I use he/him, that actually now I might wanna use all the pronouns, but also I'm not sure why I want that or if anything's changed? I don't know if it would be easier if I never introduced myself with he/him, on the one hand I feel like it would be since I wouldn't be going back on an earlier position, on the other hand I think that might just be my brain making stupid excuses.

[nonbinaryresource]

is it okay to never feel suddenly certain about my gender? i feel like my certainty about my transness fluctuates as my experience with gender does. it seems to me like i'm never going to have a sudden moment where ill knew for the rest of time that i'm valid and nb, but i also am pretty positive i'm never going to go back to deciding i'm cis. is it normal to just eventually settle down and decide to allow myself the label even when i haven't had a defining or life-changing moment of clarity?

absolutely. i don’t think that you’re alone in that perpetual feeling of uncertainty about your gender, either. in the way trans people are talked about (or in which trans voices the media chooses to amplify... :/ ) there’s a lot of focus on the two narratives of “i’ve known ever since i was a kid” and “one day i just knew”, which can make it really hard for those of us whose experiences don’t fit those molds.

you don’t ever have to be 10000% sure (or even 100% sure) that you’re trans and/or nonbinary. it’s okay to be unsure for the rest of your life. it’s okay for your feelings of transness to fluctuate. you are valid as a nonbinary person, and it is totally okay for you to label yourself as such even though you haven’t had a moment like that.

you shouldn’t be denied a community just because you have not and may not ever have a moment where you realise, with complete certainty, that you are nb. it’s okay. you are valid, and you deserve to feel comfortable in the way that you think about yourself.

-fennec

[defconsloth]

I'm currently writing an essay on transgender transitioning and while writing it became unsure as to if I am trans or merely feeling what I'm writing, because I've become less comfortable with my body - not size but gender proportion - and I don' know why I feel the way I do and that lack of information is bothering me. Any help or input would be immensely appreciated.

[kikithehousemoose]

You know sometimes I don't know what to think

Because I've never really cared about pronouns. Like if you called be a zebra, I'd just be like, "It's cool man, I'm down with zebras" 

But recently I've been commenting without realizing it. Like, people will talk about a team in Gym being all girls, and I would think, "Noo?". Or a kid would joke about being the only guy at the table, and sometimes I'd want to say, "But I'm a guy, too!" 

And usually I don't even catch it until later. I'll think back into the conversation and realize what I thought, and I don't know what to think.

Because I'm comfortable as I am, I could just afford to lose a few. And sometimes, yes, I do want to bind and have short hair and be a 'he' for a while. Some days I just want to bind and dress like a guy and still be a girl and be called either/or. 

And I know that's called being genderfluid, but I'm not even sure if any of this is real anymore. Like, how do I know I'm not planting ideas into my own head? How do I know I'm actually feeling any of this? And even then, would I come out? Who to? Would I trust anyone at school? In the shows? Would I be lying to them?

I'm always afraid of lying.

I just don't know anymore.