Click for quality. (I swear to gaadd this app hates me)
Closeups!
Grace is 57 in the first sketch and 77. She aged gorgeously.
Something kinda fun for me to think about is for grace to stuff Ilyukhina's bra with socks or balled up cloth. It makes her feel very pretty. Miss Grace does not care about her body hair (to a degree) and has a weird mullet thing going on. The eridians dont really get hair fashion much but Grace says its very important to be able to style it how she wants. Bitch (lovingly) still dosn't wear her glasses properly though. Get it together, you already cracked them. Gosh. She also now has a vast selection of eridian jewelry that she wears even on non fem days, including her mate gifts. Nothing is really different. Still trips over rocks. Still has a bad back (and really should wear her knee braces- but dosn't) still yaps in the lab. Only thing that does change is if Rocky has a (controversially young) wife that day or not and if the students swap Mr. Grace for Miss Grace. Woke ass rocks.
Really like sketching fem grace. Shes so beautiful. Also my friend who dosnt know anything about PHM accused me of giving "your only transfem character scurvy during june. Thats a hate crime" in which I had to explain that Grace is not infact my character but no one is safe from my treacherous hands, pride month or not. I might lay off the torture a ttiiiiiiinnnyyy bit tho.
Idk what this is uh please don't be weird I'm literally rocky I just wanna do this for fun.
As grace is working on something, scribbling words and equations on the whiteboard rocky watches. He's sat on a small stool next to him, just mindlessly watching her. He's not focused on what grace is writing but them instead, his eyes watching her face as it contorts with focus. Rocky liked to stare, to look and he very much likes to touch.
He scoots a little closer to grace, a calloused hand reaching out to gently grab his. "Want to hold your hand." He hums, still focused on her face as grace glaces down at their hands together. "Oh..yeah of course buddy." He smiles, and so does rocky. He liked their smile, it made him feel all fuzzy inside his chest. In a good way of course! Rocky squeezes Grace's hand and leans forward to rest his head against the side of his arm, closing his eyes as he did so. Moments like this made him feel a lot calmer than he usually was, grace always managed to do that even without trying. God he loves grace.
Hi. Hi. Hi. Are you sick of my bullshit rants yet?
Well, that's too bad! Let's talk about Grace's gender, or lack thereof.
I LOVE gender non-conforming Grace. Anything that portrays Grace as someone who pushes the boundaries of the gender binary fills me with pure joy! But I want to talk about some of my favorite takes, and why I like them.
Transmasc Grace.
One of my personal favorites, as a transmasc person myself. That being said, this does NOT mean Grace is a guy. Transmasc basically just means transitioning from a more feminine gender identity to a more masculine one. Some nonbinary people identify that way. And that's my personal take on this one.
I think Grace would be transmasc nonbinary. They wouldn't feel much connection to being either gender, just preferred their masculinity. BUT I do think they would use binary pronouns. And before someone comes for me, a lot of nonbinary people use binary pronouns. I'm quite literally one of them.
They would obviously prefer they/them, maybe it/its or xe/xem if they were aware those were options. But I don't think they'd be opposed to being referred to using he/him pronouns. It wouldn't hurt or anything, and it was easier for other people.
That doesn't make them less valid. They're still nonbinary, they just don't care that much about being referred to with binary terms.
Transfem Grace.
I will be so honest here, originally I didn't see this one at all. And then I looked into it and it became one of my absolute favorite takes, if only for the concept.
Again, when I say transfem I don't necessarily mean a trans woman, but I do feel like transfem Grace would be more demigirl. She/they all the way.
I do think she wouldn't notice until way way WAY late, like on Erid or Mary. BUT that doesn't mean it was too late. No such thing.
It would start with them borrowing Illyukhina's clothes. A few skirts because pants started getting annoying. Then she realized just how much she liked it.
It takes a long time before the dots start connecting for her. They ask Rocky to try calling her Gracie. Then it clicks and she is immediately distraught. They had always been bullied for being more feminine than the other boys.
It may take a while, but she finds themself. Gracie gets to be who she always was deep inside. And it was never too late for that.
Agender Grace.
Can I be honest? My absolute favorite. I 1000% agree with this one in particular. And honestly? I especially enjoy it when it is paired with Aroace Grace as well. My little triple-A battery.
It would start slow. Rocky's lack of pronouns in vocabulary, the referring to Grace in only gender-neutral terms. And it would adore that! It made it feel much better than when talking to other people.
It would wear the other crew's clothes, pair things together that didn't quite fit in the binary way but definitely made it happy. It would grow more comfortable in its body.
Then Rocky finds out about gender and questions Grace. Grace explains the mechanics of gender to Rocky, and then comes the question.
"What Grace gender, question?"
And it has to pause. Because it isn't really sure. It never really had been to be honest. It has tried to find out, looking deep inside itself, but the place where other people found gender, it just had this weird blankness.
So it says "Not a clue. Can't tell."
And then it spirals while Rocky sleeps and tries to find out. Digging around its brain, scouring the internet, trying to find an answer.
And its answer was given. A label that didn't actually label anything. And it felt right for it. So did those pronouns. Grace wasn't a they or a he or a she. Grace was just Grace. And it was happy that way.
Crossdresser Grace / Drag Grace.
Putting these together to save space, but I want to emphasize something. CROSSDRESSING AND DRAG AREN'T THE SAME. I'm not saying they are. It's just to conserve space. Fight me.
Starting with crossdressing. I think in this ideation, Grace is a cis man. But he enjoys wearing skirts. He enjoys makeup and dressing up and going to girl's night. But he wasn't a girl.
He was Mr. Grace. Just Mr. Grace that liked skirts. Mr. Grace that helped the kids that didn't feel safe or happy in their bodies to feel better about themselves. I mean, if Mr. Grace is wearing a skirt without shame, why should they make shame out of nothing.
Little bit of a bonus, I think Stratt would've noticed this and made sure to pack a good variety of clothes and makeup. Anything she could fit in the suitcase.
Grace appreciated the feminine parts of himself. But it didn't effect who he was. He could look different and stay the same and that was okay.
Now drag queen Grace. Don't ask for a drag name, I barely came up with a preferred name for myself.
Science teacher by day, drag queen by night. From 7-3 Grace was just a plain old guy. But in the nights he became someone else, someone that made him feel powerful.
She would be elaborate with her makeup, including little hints of science in it. She would make elaborate outfits based on abstract concepts.
She was beautiful, and she loved performing.
It started with him showing his drag on social media. He quickly became famous, or rather his drag persona did. He never told anyone, but a few people puzzled it out. They kept it to themselves.
He could be who he wanted when he wanted. Didn't change who he was, just how he portrayed himself. A scruffy middle-aged man or a beautiful queen. They were both him. They were both perfect.
Genderfluid Grace.
Second favorite! Love it so so so so so so so so much. I like the concept, and I'm kinda my own little special flavour of genderfluid (*genderfaun*) so I feel kinship.
Their gender was unpredictable. Grace found out in college when suddenly being called a guy was repulsive. It lasted a while before it went back to being okay.
Sometimes the shifts would last a year, sometimes only a few hours. They went into teaching as a Mx. Grace on paper, just to be safe.
There would be pronouns of the day on the board, color coded and with a change whenever a shift happened. Sometimes it was written in pink and read Ms. Grace, other times in black saying Mx. Grace, and every now and then Mr. Grace in blue.
The kids were good at remembering to read the board. They used the right pronouns. Sometimes the board would change halfway through the class when suddenly Ms. Grace seemed uncomfortable and went to erase the board and replace it with Mr. Grace.
The kids adapted anyway. They didn't judge because they didn't think to. The teachers that thought it was weird stayed out of it. Grace wasn't harrassed.
People didn't get irritated when they corrected the pronouns people used. People just adjusted. Because that was just who Grace was. It didn't hurt anyone, so there was no point in making fuss.
Soooo how are we feeling? Do you guys have a favorite?
"Figure out what triggered Simon's episode?" Carl asks, coming to sit on the couch next to Grace, plopping his plate on the coffee table.
"Well.. Technecally that's a HIPPA violation and Dr. Grace can't tell you that." He mumbles, now changed into some pj shorts and a sweater. In her lap was some microwave spaghetti.
Carl shook his head, judging. "I don't know how you can eat that.. are you sure you don't want me to make you a plate?" He asks, scrunching his nose at the nasty half cooked pasta.
"I don't know how you eat *that*. Ill stick to mine." Grace mutters. Their pallet has grown since college..buuutt.. not much. Grace needed their food to be the same consistency. Something fish, rice, and okra definitely wasn't.
Carl shrugs. "Just make sure you get some vegtable juice before bed. You need the fiber."
Grace rolls his eyes, poking at the tv dinner. "Yeah, yeah Mom.."
Carl grins, now shaking his head softly out of fondness. "Hey your mother would love to hear if you tried okra. She might just cry."
Grace grumbles something Carl could only assume was 'She cries about everything' under her breath.
After a few minutes of silent eating infront of a random re-run of a badly written sitcom, Carl peers out of the side of his eye. "I know Dr. Grace can't tell me anything, But can my best friend, Ryland?"
The doctor frowns mid bite, putting their brows together. "Carl.."
"I'm a nurse! I deserve to know if there's anyway I can help my patiants more then what I already am." He pleas, sneaking Sunny a small peice of fish under the coffee table.
The intense vibration inducing purring and small begging mew gave it away though.
"Heeyy! You said we can't feed him anymore because he's begging too much." Grace grumbles.
Carl only blinks, gesturing to Laika who was staring at Grace's plate on his lap with big wide eyed and drool coming from her chops.
"Thats different-"
"How??"
"Just is."
"You're being a hypocrite. It's cause he's black, isn't it?" Carl asks, putting his plate down to pick the chunky black persian up like a baby. He snugglss him, kissing his head annoyingly.
Grace gasps. "What!? Of course not, but you said the Vet suggested a diet! Besides, Laika is a good girl. She dosn't jump counters like *someone*" He says, leaning over to give the cats flat nose a kiss.
Within a few seconds, the cat jumped up, scampering off in a fit of zoomies.
Carl watches, chuckling, then looked at Grace. "Come on Ry.. Please? You know I won't tell."
Ryland makes a whirring whine noise before sighing. "Fine. Your super-bestest friend Ryland says they should have never sent him in that sub without checking everything was right first..and for a guy in the Navy? He sure hates the idea of water. Once I got him to calm down, He was an absolute sweetheart."
"He's like that." Carl states quietly taking a big bite of rice.
Grace nods. "I know, but that's not great either. He's stuck at one extreme or another. He's either completely reactive or excessively fawning. It can't be healthy for Ava to be switching his medicine this much, either. She's saying Simon has a tense background, but I dont think that's an excuse to just drug hop him like this. When's the last time one of her sessions didn't end in switching medication??"
"Hmm.. and let me guess.. you can fix him?" Carl asks, leaning back on the couch as he wraps an arm behind Grace's back, streatching.
"Not fair! Thats my job. Also, I didn't say fix. I was going to say help. Its the only reason-" She starts, but Carl grins. The kind of grin you gave someone when you couldn't decide if you had pitty or utter admiration for someone close.
"Uh-huh. Its the only reason you put up with it. To help people. You've been saying that since college."
Ryland pouts, giving him a side eye. "Hmph.. so have you."
Carl rolls his eyes. "Come ooonn. Don't get all worked up."
She throws her hands up. "Its just!- it's like they don't want to help anyone at all! It just seems they don't care about anything anymore. It took 2 weeks for Yao to get his meds but Simon gets way too many? And instead of just talking to her, they restrained Olesya? Its.. its-!"
Carl seemed suprised, wondering if he'd actually say it. If so, he owed their neighbor 20 bucks.
"Bull pucky!"
His suprise leaves just as quick. Yeah. They were never getting that 20$ outta him. Carl rubs their back gently. Ryland always was passionate about stuff. In college he accused a board member of causing more harm then good by his inclined "proving" that restricted resources associated with negitive behavior, reduced patiant inflicted physical incidents.
It had pissed Grace off so bad that she had flipped the table and called him an abuser with a degree in predatory behavior. He wasn't wrong (or at least still believed so) but he was deemed unstable for the meeting and escorted out. Which.. in turn.. made their school very very upset to the point of expulsion.
"Shh. Easy there cowboy. You won't be able to sleep if you get your blood pressure too high." Logic was always reasonable, but sometimes not always the best reason to say it.
"No, Carl! It's messed up. They want to act like they're saints, but they refuse to hire anyone that dosn't lock themselves in an office and only want too see patiants when legally required. If I was only allowed to talk to my heart doctor while actively experiencing failure, I'd act out too! Esspecially! If they kept prescribing me mystery pills! I asked Simon today if he knew what his pills even were for, and he couldn't tell me. I don't have anything agasint medicating, I have a "Ava dosn't do her darn job, but Im the one getting written up for hugging my patiants!" Problem!"
So Carl litsened, nodding, saying small things to acknowledge their grievances but also not esculate. That was part of his job after all.
Afrer another good minute of venting, Ryland stops, gribbing their knees, seeminy turning into Dr. Grace. He lets out a big sigh.
"I'm sorry. That was extremely unprofessional and I shouldn't be talking about my superior in that way.. I apologize for unloading all of that onto you without asking if you had the mental capacity to handle anymore today.. I'll talk to Brianna about it next session."
Brianna, was Grace's own physiatrist. The same one who prescribed their Adderall and helped her learn to harness their intense passion for good energy instead of outbursts like this one. While they were still extended release, by the end of the day they had worn off a bit.
Grace takes his hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. "I'm sorry.." She says again.
Carl only grins, intertwining their fingers. "I was a little mentally full, but it seems like you were overflowing and really needed that. Come on. Vegtable juice, teeth, then bed. Do you want to be big spoon?"
"Yes, please...." Grace mutters but has a soft smile and gentle eyes. Sometimes, it was better for him to blow up at home. God knows if he said all that to Eva, She might just have to send him to HR.
