Jan 18, 2021
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Some Arya Stark doodles to advertise my hunger games au gendrya fic! The first five chapters are up if you're interested 😁
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Some Arya Stark doodles to advertise my hunger games au gendrya fic! The first five chapters are up if you're interested 😁
this arya and this gendry
she’s head-strong and will talk to anyone about the causes she believes in.
he’s a grump who refuses to shave for sunday family dinners.
Really.
“You can’t be serious,” Arya glared at Sansa. “You could literally dare me to jump off the roof into the pool, you could dare me to drink two bottles of vodka upside down, you could—”
“I dare you to kiss Gendry,” she maintained, an evil brow raised.
Arya huffed, pushing choppy hair away from her face. “That’s…that’s stupid. Also, boring, no one else here wants to see—”
“Yes, we do,” said Margery. She was cuddled in next to Joffrey, but Arya knew her and Sansa were holding hands behind his back.
“Fine, fine, but don’t blame me when nothing really happens,” Arya tried to keep her voice from shaking. The only way she could do it was by pushing anger through it. Who did they think they were, anyway? It was one thing to tease about her and Gendry’s close friendship, it was another to…
It wasn’t rejection she was scared of. Or, even of ruining their friendship, she knew they’d be fine. Maybe it would be awkward for a second, but they would eventually laugh it off. She just…she didn’t want to see the look on his face. She didn’t want to see the grimace he got when he ate green peppers or mushrooms up close and personal, as a reaction to her. Like she triggered some type of gag reflex. She knew if she saw that face, she would cry right in his face despite not having cried once since she was five. He would ruin the record.
They followed her out of Shireen’s parent’s room toward the living room, where Gendry was talking to Jon casually in front of the fireplace.
“We’ll be by the drinks,” Sansa told her, and they soon walked over there.
Arya took a moment to herself. She’d just close her eyes and wouldn’t open them until he started laughing. She could handle laughing, she could laugh with him. She couldn’t fake being grossed out by something she’s been thinking about the past six months.
It wasn’t a long crush, admittedly. In all honesty, its probably lasted her entire life, but she’d only realized six months ago, when he got a temporary girlfriend. Arya was forced to watch them hug and kiss and…whatever else they probably did in their three month relationship. It was infuriating. Arya always sat next to him on the couch, Arya was who he spent time with on Saturdays, Arya wore his clothes when hers just weren’t warm enough. Those were all hers, and she had to watch Melisandre do all of, and Arya wasn’t allowed to be mad. She didn’t have the same claim over him, and that angered her even more because yes she did. She had every claim over him, he was hers. He’d been hers for years, and this girl just showed up and now he wasn’t allowed to be hers anymore.
And in those three months, she got more out of Gendry than Arya ever would. She got cuddles and kisses and whispers and…and…she got…
Arya hadn’t thought about any of that until then. Until she watched Melisandre casually walked out of his room wearing nothing but his t-shirt, four or five hickies on her neck. At that point Arya just thought she was jealous because she was getting more attention from him. But after seeing her like that, she realized it ran much deeper. That was the first time she imagined being with Gendry in his room, wearing nothing but a t-shirt as he was kissing her neck passionately enough to leave hickies. Once she let herself imagine it she couldn’t stop.
And even in her fantasies, she kept seeing that look on his face. Because Arya wasn’t Melisandre. She wasn’t long and heart stopping beautiful. She was short and horse faced, one of the guys. He’d never look at her the way he looked at Melisandre. And now she was forced to realize it straight on.
Jon saw her coming, smiled. Gendry nodded, he was probably pissed she had left him alone in the first place. Jon opened up an arm for her as she got closer, “Figured you’d be jumping naked off the roof by now,” he said.
Arya nodded, “Me too,” she was very bitter about the fact she wasn’t doing exactly that.
“What’s up?” he asked. Arya twisted her mouth to the side, looked up at Gendry. He wasn’t looking at her, instead he was sipping his drink and staring at the dancing crowd. Yep, he was pissed. Well, just wait, she was about to make it much worse.
“Do you mind if I talk to Gendry alone for a sec?” she asked Jon. Now Gendry looked to her, rolled his clear blue eyes.
Jon sighed, “Fine. Gotta find Ygritte I guess. She’s probably jumping naked off the roof now that I think about it,” he mumbled to himself, walking away.
“Don’t be pouty,” Arya stepped closer to him. He always smelt nice.
“I don’t get why you drag to me to these things if you’re just gonna ditch me. For Sansa, of all people,” he took a whiney drink.
Arya huffed, “You never want to jump off roofs with me, and this is the only way I’ll get you out of your room,”
“I have a nice room,” he countered, realizing his drink was empty and setting it aside.
“I’m sorry, I’m here now,”
“You probably want something,” he grunted, turning completely to the dancing crowd to their side, crossing long arms over a wide chest. “Alright, out with it, tell me what it is,”
Arya sighed, glancing over to see Sansa and Margery staring at her steadily. She wouldn’t be a chicken, that wasn’t an option.
So, she took in a deep breath, counted to three, then reached for him. His face was warm, his scruff was scratchy, but she kept her eyes firmly shut as she kissed him.
She knew she’d like it, she knew he’d be warm and tall and firm, she knew his hair was soft. She knew he’d be surprised too. He made a sound at the back of his throat when he realized what was happening, and that’s about all he did. The kiss lasted about two seconds, she got what she’d been dreaming about for about two seconds, and he did nothing but make a surprised noise the majority of it.
Arya pulled away as quickly as she had reached for him. She turned away, pointedly ignoring any sort of look he might be making. “Sorry,” she whispered. “I just—”
Gendry grabbed her waist and pulled her firmly against him, he used his other hand to cup the back of her neck. Arya looked at him then, and she was not expecting to see that look. She’d never seen it on his face before, it was deep and…and yearning. It made her forget how to breathe.
“Really?” he asked her.
She couldn’t say anything, she still wasn’t convinced this was all really happening. All she could do was look back to his lips, and apparently that’s all the answer he needed.
His mouth came down on hers in such a way Arya had to grip the tops of his shoulders to keep herself steady before deciding to wrap them around his neck all together. She tugged at his soft, fluffy hair, something she’s done before. He often laid his head onto her lap so she would drag her fingers through it, but this was different, this had intention and meaning, and he was moaning because of it. He was holding her closer, lifting her off her feet, moving to press hungry kisses up and down her neck. Arya was about to wrap her legs around his waist when they were interrupted.
Sansa, Margery, and Joffrey cheered and wolf whistled. Arya almost didn’t notice them, honestly she had forgotten they were there to begin with. Gendry, however, did notice. Setting her down but keeping his arms around her, he looked over at them as they walked over.
“And you didn’t wanna do it,” Sansa grinned. Arya was officially in a panic, almost moving to put her hands over Gendry’s ears.
“What?” Gendry asked gruffly.
“Oh, don’t worry bro,” Joffrey punched Gendry’s shoulder. “It was only a dare. We practically had to force her into it,”
The look Gendry got when he ate mushrooms was nothing compared to this one. His jaw was clenched and his mouth pinched. He looked so angry yet also looked like he was close to tears. He let go of Arya.
“Gendry,” Arya reached out for him but he stepped away.
“Its whatever. I’m going home.” He said gruffly, walking away.
Arya whipped to face her sister. “What the fuck?!”
Sansa rolled her eyes. “Don’t be an idiot, go after him! Someone had to make you guys see how you felt about each other,”
“Oh, aren’t you a hero,” Arya spat. She turned to go after him but had no idea where he went. He’d be on his way home by now. “Drive me home,” she told Sansa.
“I’m not gonna say sorry,” Sansa said to an icy cold Arya. “I do regret…you know, what happened after. But you two weren’t going to do anything on your own,”
“And that’s your business, how?” Arya wouldn’t look at her. She didn’t even want to be talking to her. She just wanted to see Gendry. She knew how hurt he must be, she knew he was sitting in a pitch black room with his music playing too loud and it was because of her.
He kissed her back. He had wanted to kiss her. The thought made her dizzy.
“It gets annoying, seeing all the pining,”
“Then maybe Margery should dump Joffrey so you two can stop pining,” Arya bit back. Sansa was quiet for the rest of the drive.
Arya knocked frantically on Gendry’s window, trying to make it loud enough to hear over the loud music.
“Go away Arya!” he called back.
“Please Gendry, let me explain!”
“You don’t have to. I get it. Give me the night, I’ll be fine in the morning,”
“No! No, not like that. I-I..” She sighed, preparing herself to say it out loud. “I wanted to kiss you Gendry, I just didn’t think you’d wanna kiss me,”
The music paused. It was dead silent for about three minutes. Then Gendry came to the window. He opened it, then leaned against the wall, not letting her in.
Arya tried to smile, “I’m sorry it…happened like that,” she whispered.
“But you did want it to happen?” Gendry asked, looking to Arya’s knees then back to her eyes, almost like he was too hopeful to hold steady eye contact.
Arya couldn’t look at him either. “I..I..yeah. Yeah, I did.”
“For how long?” he asked.
Arya rubbed the center of her chest, feeling shaky and unprepared for this conversation. She breathed out a quivering breath. “I don’t know. Probably always, but I…you know, I realized it when you were dating—”
Gendry didn’t let her finish before barking out a laugh. He threw his head back, squinted his eyes, and let it out from deep in his stomach.
Arya shoved his shoulder. “It’s not funny,”
“Its fucking hilarious. I got a girlfriend to try and get over you, and you were not having it. We couldn’t go anywhere without you breathing down our necks—”
“Because you were unfair!” Arya snapped back. “You randomly get a girlfriend for two seconds and our entire relationship was supposed to change, and you acted like I was just supposed to deal with it! Like you didn’t care about our relationship—”
“I needed our relationship to change! Unlike you, I’ve known that I was in love with you for fucking…years,” he interrupted himself with a bitter laugh. “Letting you sleep in the same bed as me, letting you wear my clothes, letting you snuggle up next to me on the couch, it was fucking killing me Arya! I needed to get over you, and it wasn’t going to happen if—”
“Did you?” Arya whispered, eyebrows pulled together. “Did you get over me?”
Gendry paused, searching Arya’s eyes. “No,” he finally said. “No, I didn’t.”
A wave of relief crashed over her, causing her to lean forward into him. She pressed her forehead to the center of his chest. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I just… I never thought about it before…before I saw you doing it,”
Gendry ran his finger through her hair, rubbed up and down her back. “If I knew that’s all I had to do, I would’ve made out with a random girl in front of you years ago,”
Arya wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezed. “Yeah, that probably would’ve worked.”
Gendry sighed, “That’s…really annoying, not gonna lie.”
Arya laughed, looking up so that only her chin was resting on his chest. Gendry looked back down at her, held her face in his hands. She smiled.
“I’m…really happy right now,” he told her and she smiled wider.
Straightening up, she looked at his lips.
“Really?” he asked sternly. Arya laughed.
“Really.”
That was all he needed. In the next second they picked up right where they left off at that party.
promise pt.1
I really can’t believe how well my last gendrya was received. Honestly, I’m not totally sure how tumblr really works even after having it a couple of years, but I have this other story I’ve started based on this text post I found, I’m sorry to say I didn’t save it because I never thought I would actually be posting stories on here so I didn’t think I would need it, but it was basically a prompt about how Arya and Gendry making a pact to lose their virginities together. I started writing this with the intention for it to be very short and very sweet, but it has turned into something much longer and more involved than I thought it would, so I thought I’d be posting different parts one of at a time and see how it goes. Sorry if this whole preface ruined it, but I also just wanted to thank everyone for all the kind words and reblogs, the positive feedback was so overwhelming and unexpected, and I’m not sure if it was even that big of a deal in the world of tumblr but it was a pretty big deal for me. So, thank you so much, and here’s a part one that I may be continuing if things continue to go as well. Okay, I’m done talking, sorry lol
Arya and Gendry had grown up making each other promises.
The first was made when Arya was seven, Gendry nine, and he had began getting closer with all of her brothers. Before this Gendry had always been hers. Gendry got nervous around the other boys, he felt inferior to them since they had always been together and had always been in the same family. Gendry had only moved in with his father three years before then, and still felt like an outsider, no matter how hard Robert tried to make him apart of everyone’s family.
Arya didn’t make him uncomfortable though. It was probably because she was younger and she was a girl and in some ways didn’t fit in quite the same either. It wasn’t any where near Gendry’s level of isolation, even if it was self inflicted partially, but she didn’t like the things her sister liked so they never got on very well, and while her brother’s never minded Arya joining in on their games, their mother did. Cat had always been more on the old fashioned side and letting her youngest daughter play outside and climb up trees and roofs or join her older brother’s boxing lessons was too stressful for her to handle. So, Arya was always caught in a middle place, and that was where she met Gendry. On equal footing.
Jon joined them often but he was also very close with Rob, so Arya wasn’t threatened at first. It wasn’t until Rob began noticing Gendry was just as capable at throwing a ball about and punching stupid boxing bags when Arya started worrying. Once Gendry was accepted with the boys what would he need Arya for? Once he was involved in the family fully, there would be nothing tying them together and Arya would be left alone.
She knew she had to act quick before too much damage was done.
Sitting him down Arya fixed him with the most serious of looks she could make as she stuck her pinky out. “You have to promise that you’ll always like me better than them,” She told him in the most mother like voice she’s ever made.
Gendry raised an eyebrow at her, “Better than who?”
“You know damn well who I’m talking about stupid. But I always have to be your favorite, promise me,”
Gendry rolled his eyes but hooked his pinky with hers all the same.
The next real promise was made when Arya was ten. There had been lots of tiny promises here and there on both their ends. Arya promised not to tell his brother where he kept his secret stuff and Gendry promised not to let Arya win anything, he always had to try and beat her fair and square.
Arya had been listening in on her parent’s conversations for years. It was through listening to their concerns and secret opinions she managed to get anything she really wanted. Like finally getting a turn in boxing lessons and archery, it was how she managed to wiggle her way out of etiquette classes. She had also come across ballet through this method, as a sort of compromise between her and her mother. Arya had went in determined not to enjoy herself, and then found herself thinking about applying to different dance academies her senior year.
She was sat high on the staircase, snacking on a cookie mother was supposed to be saving for Sansa’s class the next after noon, expecting them to complain about Rob’s new girlfriend, once again. But that wasn’t the relationship they were worrying about.
“It won’t be long until he starts to look at her. Maybe even the other way around, he’s already taller than any twelve-year-old boy I’d ever seen,”
“He’ll probably stop soon, at least. I’d think he would…”
“Ned, he’ll be noticing girls any moment now. Sansa has already started asking questions about Joffrey,” she was interrupted by Ned’s scoff. “Well, which one would you rather have pursuing her? Joffrey or Gendry?”
“Tommen would probably be best,” Ned answered and Cat giggled in response.
Arya set her cookie aside, suddenly feeling uneasy. Gendry noticing girls? What for? Sansa talking about boys? What was there to talk about? Her and Gendry never had much to do with one another before. They were polite enough and walked home from school together sometimes, but Gendry was Arya’s friend. It was one thing being friends with the boys, but he couldn’t have both of the girls, things would get too messy. Sansa accused Arya of messing with her stuff enough as it was, if Sansa suddenly started talking about Gendry…
Arya sat with this for almost a week. Considering the conversation over and over, and she never liked the conclusion she came to.
Obviously, her parents were referring to a fancy type of noticing and talking, a romantic type. Arya understood those things well enough, one time she had walked in on Rob’s hand up Talisa’s shirt. So, if Gendry and Sansa started on that road, Gendry would be sticking his hand up her sister’s shirt. She didn’t like that, she liked it even less then when Robb did it.
She mostly didn’t like what it meant for her and Gendry. With Gendry’s hand up Sansa’s shirt, surely Sansa would become his favorite. Arya wouldn’t stand a chance. And what with Gendry’s hand up Sansa’s shirt and his close friendship with Jon, again, he would have no need for Arya anymore. Arya was awfully frustrated with this, because she thought she had already taken care of that problem last year.
The way her parents talked about it made it sound like she had some time before she had to act on it though, but it was clear she was running out. She needed to know how much time there was exactly, but she couldn’t go to Gendry about it, she wasn’t stupid. So, instead she went to Jon, who was the same age as Gendry and who she knew she could say anything to.
“Jon?” he had taken to staying locked up in his room for the entire day and night and got mad when people came in without knocking. Arya forgot to knock very often, but today she made sure to. She wanted him to be in a good mood.
Jon stuffed his phone under his pillow, “What is it Arya?”
“Can I ask you something?” she asked innocently.
Jon sat up on his elbows and gave her a suspicious look. “When have you ever asked my permission before asking me something?”
Arya decided to ignore that question, “It’s just that…” she closed the door behind her and sat at the foot of his bed, “Its only…have you started noticing girls? And if not do you think you’ll start up soon? And if soon than how soon? Weeks or months? Days?”
Jon stared, wide eyed. Arya only stared back, determined for an answer. Eventually he sighed and plopped back down onto his back. “What has brought this on Arya?” he asked miserably.
Arya shrugged even though he wasn’t looking at her. “Nothing I was just wondering…”
“Are you going to let me not answer you and keep some dignity?” he asked.
“Not without a fight,” Arya answered, which really meant no, she wasn’t. And Jon knew that.
He sighed heavily again before emotionlessly saying, “Yes, I’ve noticed a thing or two about girls. Can you leave me alone now?”
Arya chewed her lip. That wasn’t good, that didn’t leave her much time at all. “Have you noticed everything about a girl or would you say you have a ways to go?”
“I’m not sure how much more there is to notice that I haven’t already gotten to,”
Arya heard in his voice that he had reached the limit of how much he was willing to share and any more information had to be drawn out through out the week, or even a month, and she didn’t have the time. At this rate, Gendry would be noticing and Sansa would be talking and Arya would never hear from him again. She didn’t bother to thank Jon as she ran out the door and bicycled her way to Gendry’s house. She climbed up to his window and knocked so she wouldn’t have to deal with Joffrey or Cersei.
Gendry’s loud, angry music blasted through Arya’s ears as he opened the window for her.
“I was about to come over,” Gendry told her casually, snacking on an apple.
“Promise me you won’t notice Sansa,” Arya got out before she lost courage.
Gendry blinked at her, “What?”
“Promise me you won’t notice Sansa and put your hand up her shirt,” she clarified, her pinky out and ready.
Gendry almost dropped his apple, “Put my hand where?”
“I know you’ve already started noticing girls, and I know Sansa’s the prettiest one, but you can’t notice her, okay? Promise me,” she thrusted her pinky in his face.
Gendry’s face was now just as red as the apple he was eating. “I-I…honestly Arya what makes you think—”
“Are you going to promise or not?!” Arya didn’t like that he didn’t agree to this immediately. Maybe she had been too late, maybe he’d already noticed all there was to notice like Jon had.
Gendry was stiff a moment, looking to her pinky then to Arya and she was sure in that moment that he had noticed Sansa at least a little bit. But in the next moment she saw him let it go and hook his pinky with hers. Gendry had picked Arya and it almost made Arya cry. Arya cheered, wrapping her arms tight around his neck. “Thank you,” she said.
“Yeah okay,” Gendry grumbled, patting her back.
It wasn’t long after that, a few months really, the next big promise was made. It came the day after Arya had her first lesson on the birds and the bee’s. She wasn’t meant to receive this lesson, but she often snuck herself into the bigger kids’ classes so she could go back to her own and pretend she already knew everything they were talking about. She had come home that day with lots of questions regarding the video they had watched.
Her mother couldn’t stop her voice from getting too high and her father kept stuttering so she turned to her oldest brother Rob. She would’ve gone to Jon, but she already made him uncomfortable with the ‘noticing girls’ thing and, if she was being completely honest, she doubted he knew much more about it than she did.
“Rob,” she said while he was doing his homework. “Can you tell me about sex but be honest about it?”
Rob threw his head back and let out the longest, most miserable, tortured groan Arya had ever heard. When he was done he just sat like that, his head back, staring at the ceiling. Arya got the idea he thought if he didn’t move long enough she’d forget about it and walk away. But she didn’t. She could wait him out, she didn’t have any homework to do anyway.
Eventually she won and Rob told her to sit down.
“Listen, I’m gonna cut to the chase about it, but I’m not going to give you details. I’m gonna tell you the basics and nothing more, and there’s nothing you can say or do that’ll make me give you more, you got that?” he got that serious determined look Arya often copied so she nodded. Secretly she figured she’d give it a day or two before trying him again if she had any more questions, which she probably would. “Okay, so…” Rob suddenly didn’t seem too confident as he looked at Arya’s eager, curious face. He groaned again, rubbing his forehead before he pointed his finger at her ambitiously, “So,” he started again, voice stronger, “there’s a girl and there’s a guy, usually—”
“Usually?”
“Hey! What did I say?” Robb raised an eyebrow and Arya rolled her lips together. Robb made sure she was gonna stay quiet before starting again, “There’s a girl and a guy, a much older girl and guy, like ten to twenty years older, and only if they love and trust each other very much, and they come to the mutual decision to have sex. That means, both of you, especially you Arya, will agree to have to sex. You have to be very, very, very, very sure you 1.) want to have sex, and 2.) want to have sex with that person, I can’t stress that enough. Do you understand that?” he looked at her and Arya nodded. “And once you two have talked about it, thought it over, and have come to the decision you want to have sex you…” Rob’s voice got wobbly again and he had to clear his throat, “Well you…uh…okay, so uh…” he closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. Arya rolled her eyes. “gods, I can’t do this,” Rob shook his head and turned back to his homework.
“Hey!” Arya grabbed his sleeve, “You can’t do that!”
“I said I’d give you the basic information, and that’s as basic as it gets. Sex is with someone you love and trust, and that’s all you need to know,” he said in the voice that meant he wasn’t going to talk no matter what Arya did. At least, not today, she could try again tomorrow if she wanted, but it honestly seemed like a lot of work if that’s all the information she was going to be getting per conversation. She knocked his text book off the table before stomping away,
Just like she did before her last promise, Arya sat with the information she had for a while. Sex, whatever it was, should only happen with someone she loved and trusted and should happen in ten to twenty years which, at ten, was almost the same thing as it was never going to happen.
All those things together made it almost obvious on what was to be done next.
The next time Gendry was over, right before they started playing video games, Arya stuck her pinky out.
“What the hell Arya, what is it now?” he asked her, frustrated. Arya was suspicious he was still a little bitter about her making him promise not to notice Sansa.
“Promise me that the first time we have sex, it’ll be together,” Arya said unashamedly. There’s no one else in the world Arya trusted or loved more than Gendry, other than her family and while Arya didn’t know much about it, she knew sex wasn’t meant for family.
Gendry’s jaw dropped the widest Arya had ever seen it. “Arya!”
“What?” she frowned. “I love you and trust you, that’s what you need to have sex with someone.”
“Well yeah, but—”
“You don’t love me?” Arya asked, suddenly feeling very sad, “You don’t trust me?”
“It’s not that! You’re ten years old, I’m older than you—”
“Not now, obviously, sex doesn’t happen for another ten to twenty years, I’m not stupid!”
“Arya, you don’t get it—”
“Sex is for people who love and trust each other,” Arya felt like she was close to tears. She didn’t think this promise would be a big deal at all, she thought it made the most sense in the world. “Why are we even friends if you don’t love or trust me?”
Gendry ran a very stressed hand through his hair, “Arya that’s not all there is to it—”
“Well, what else is there?” she was quick to ask. When Gendry struggled to answer she took that as a sign he was lying and didn’t actually love and trust her. Maybe he wanted to have sex with Sansa first, and was mad at Arya for stopping that. “Fine, if you want to notice Sansa so bad go ahead and notice her. I never cared anyway. You can play video games with her for all I care,” Arya left so she could beat Sansa’s old stuffed animals with a stick.
She barely talked to him for a week. He tried, he knocked at her window, he walked her to school, he waited outside of her class, but if he didn’t immediately promise her what she wanted she ignored him.
“You’re a kid, Arya! I’m not trying to be a creep,” he said from outside her window. Arya turned her music up. “Oh come on, how long are you going to pout?”
Arya didn’t answer, he knew exactly how long she was going to pout.
“Fuck you Arya!” he hit at her window before leaving.
He stopped trying to make up for two days. Instead he hung out with her brothers in a very obvious and obnoxious kind of way, but it didn’t bother Arya. She knew Gendry and she knew he could never hold out as long as she could. No one could.
Eventually, while she was eating her cereal, Gendry angrily took a seat next to her.
She took a bite, looked at him.
He set his jaw, looked at her.
Then he stuck out his pinky.
Promise pt.2
This isn’t going in the direction I was expecting lol, but we’re sticking with it for now ig.
At seventeen years old, Arya was terrified for Gendry to go to college, so she was forcing promises on him left and right.
“Promise not to forget about me,”
“I promise,”
“Promise to come home every weekend,”
“I’m still living at home Arya,”
“Promise to come to my house every weekend then,”
“That’s less than I come over now,”
“You know what I mean,”
“I promise,”
“Promise not to like anyone better than me,”
“I’ve made that promise four times now,”
“Promise…” she wanted to make him promise not to fall in love with anyone, but she knew there were still some things she couldn’t ask him. “Promise that you’ll shower more often,”
“Hey,” Gendry pointed a finger at her. “I shower more than you do and we both know it,”
They made plans at the beginning of the year to spend the summer together, drive across the country or something like that. They didn’t really have any of it planned out, but they were leaving in four days. Gendry was helping her pack. “I’ll need a swimsuit, right?”
Gendry shrugged, “It’s a possibility, for sure,”
She threw a bikini in her bag. “Books?”
“Are you gonna read them?”
Arya shrugged, “The radio could stop working or something. I could read to you,”
Gendry snorted and so did Arya.
“Are we going anywhere cold?”
“I’d prefer not to,” he answered.
“So, no blankets?”
“No, bring lots of blankets,”
When they were done she pushed her four, fully packed bags to the side and shoved them off the bed so she could sit next to Gendry. They immediately leaned back into the bed with her head on his shoulder. He smelt nice, like any hot boy would smell, only better because he wasn’t just any hot boy, he was Gendry.
Arya was angry the first time she realized he was more attractive then everybody else. She hadn’t realized it for a while actually, he’d always had the same face to her. But then she noticed everyone else noticing him and Sansa’s friend Jeyne Poole asked Arya if she thought he would go out with her, so Arya decided to take a closer look. It was the worst decision she’d ever made.
She was perfectly content not noticing his broad shoulders or his high cheek bones or straight jawline. She didn’t need to see how he towered at least a foot over every other boy in school, in the world really. Or the way his light eyes glowed bright against his dark hair. It didn’t do her any good to notice these things, because while he got hot, she got not.
She was still called Arya Horseface, she was still shorter than everyone she knew and it seemed no amount of kickboxing, archery, ballet, and numerous different haircuts weren’t going to change that. And before Gendry got hot, it didn’t matter that she wasn’t hot, she never even thought about it. But now that he was, and now that she noticed, and now that she couldn’t stop noticing, it meant he would never keep his promise.
Of course, she knew that promise had been shaky since the beginning, and she sort of knew he was not under any real obligation to keep that promise. But still…did he remember? Did he intend to keep it... maybe over the summer? When it would be just them traveling who knows where?
“Jeyne Pool has a crush on you, you know,” she decided to tell him. It hadn’t been long since Jeyne had asked her about Gendry, it hadn’t been long since Arya noticed Gendry’s physical attributes, hadn’t been long since her life spiraled out of control. Only eight months, really, but somehow it felt like she’s spent her whole life feeling this way.
“A lot of people have a crush on me,” Gendry grinned and Arya nudged him. How long had tons of people had crushes on him? Has he acted on any of those crushes? Was it too late to hold up his end of the promise? She liked to think he didn’t, or if he did she’d like to think he’d tell her about it. As far as she knew, there wasn’t anything she didn’t know about Gendry. As far as she knew, she either saw everything that went on in his life first hand or he told her about it, as far as she knew he was still a virgin. But maybe that was naïve of her.
“A boy had a crush on me once you know,” she told him like it was a big deal.
“Oh?” he turned to look at her. She didn’t look back; he was too close and his eyes were too blue.
“Mmmhmm, his name was Micah and he followed me around everyday during recess,” She told him honestly. Micah and her had a good thing going, actually, before he moved away.
“That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” he said.
Arya nodded, “I know, they’re making a movie about it,”
Gendry chuckled, moved onto his side and looked at her with his head propped on his hand. “Its gonna be your senior year, how does that make you feel?”
Arya rolled her eyes, “It’s just another year,” and she wasn’t looking forward to it without Gendry. She knew how to talk to people and she wasn’t lacking in friends necessarily, but Gendry is what she looked forward to everyday, and now that he wouldn’t be there it seemed rather dull. He wouldn’t walk her to school or skip out on class to eat lunch with her. Now she had to make small talk with her lesser friends and wait until it was time to get home.
“I bet, when I’m not there, you’ll find out a lot more people have crushes on you,” he told her.
Arya frowned as she finally looked up at him. It was a mistake, as she knew it would be. With him so close she could feel his breathe over her cheeks and most definitely the firmness of his torso against her arm. In the position they were in now, she could almost imagine what it would be like to reach out and touch the scruff of his face, something she’s obviously already felt before but this would be different. This would be different because it would be a sort of lead up. She would start with feeling the scruff, then she would slip her hand into his rather fluffy hair (hair which he had her to thank for after making him promise not to ever buzz it off again) and then she wouldn’t have to do much else because he would already be leaning towards her, and then…
Arya frowned at him, “What?”
Gendry shrugged, “I think guys were just scared to ask you out cause we’re always with each other. Either that or they think you’re a lesbian,”
Arya snorted. “Right. And why is it all these girls aren’t too afraid to ask you out, hmm?”
“They probably think you’re a lesbian,”
“I grew out my short hair, okay?” Arya huffed. He’s been making lesbian jokes at her ever since she had buzzed all her hair off. Actually, Gendry had been the one to physically do it while Jon supervised. There was a lot of screaming and a lot of laughing.
“The memory will never grow out,”
The night before they were supposed to leave Arya dragged Gendry to a huge party that was in celebration of the seniors leaving. Gendry hadn’t been to a single party throughout his high school career and Arya felt an obligation to change that. She wanted to take at least one of his virginities.
“Its so…crowded,” he mumbled, crossing his arms.
Arya nodded, “How observant you are.”
She could hear him roll his eyes. “How long are you gonna make me stay?” he asked.
Arya shrugged, “As long as it takes.”
“As long as what takes?”
“As long as it takes for you to get so drunk you’ll never want to leave,” She gave him a deep dimpled smile, one he did not return as he looked down at her.
“How are we supposed to drive across the country tomorrow if I have a hangover?”
“Oh please, we weren’t gonna leave until around five anyway. Come on, I’ll get you started,” she took his arm by the elbow, it felt too sensitive and revealing to take him by the hand now that she’s noticed him. One touch and he’ll know she was still thinking about that promise she forced him into.
“You’re not gonna leave me alone, are you?”
Arya liked to say she wouldn’t, but if there was a challenge tempting enough, or if she got tipsy enough, she might end up wandering around. She wouldn’t intend to, she might even think she’s only a few steps away from Gendry, but she would do it none the less. “I’ll try not to,” she knew she could keep that promise at least.
“Yeah, that helps,” his voice gave away that it didn’t.
Arya supervised his next two shots and forced him into a third. She was sitting on the counter so she could look him in the eyes for intimidation purposes. Also, his eyes were pretty, and she was getting drunk with him. So, the closer she was to him, the better.
“Here,” she gave him a rum and coke to sip on for the next hour or so. He was a big guy, but he hardly drank because he was afraid to turn out like his father, so she didn’t exactly know how high his tolerance would be. It did seem like his blinking was starting to slow down, but that might be her own intoxication reflecting off of him.
“What do you want me drunk for anyway?” he asked with a smile, placing a hand on her thigh. She hadn’t realized he was standing right in between her legs until then. Kind of crazy, thirty minutes ago she was too nervous to hold his hand.
“So I can take advantage of you,” she smirked into her own cup. Gendry leaned forward, resting his head on her should and the hand that was previously on her thigh moved up to her waist. “I see its working?”
“Well, I’ve got a promise to keep, don’t I?”
Arya stilled. She wasn’t drunk enough to handle this new topic with anything related to cool nonchalant-ness. This was the very subject she’s been thinking about bringing up for the past six months, after forgetting about it entirely for nearly seven years. Arya cleared her throat, “Do you?”
She felt his lips smile against her neck. “After what you put me through to make that promise? You’re gonna take it all back now?”
She bit her lip, trying to really think through this conversation, to be rational and coy and sneaky and…whatever else there was to be because it was right there. If she played her cards right, she could take it. She could have him, really have him, and all she needed to do was say the right words.
What words were those?
“I’m not sure, what promise are you talking about again? We’ve made so many,” she made a point to wrap her hands around his shoulders, link her ankles around his hips. His grip on her waist tightened.
“Well,” he cleared his throat. “There was the one about you always being my favorite…”
Arya hummed, “That was a good one.”
“There was the one forcing me not to be into Sansa?”
“One of my best.”
“And there was…” he tilted his head so his nose was pressed to the side of her neck, the hand at her waist moving to her lower back. “I think there was one where you made me promise to never watch Desperate Housewives without you.”
“Oh yes. I am holding you to that promise,” Arya told him firmly, allowing a hand to get lost in his black hair.
“Arya?”
“Hmmm?”
“I think I’m drunk.”
Arya laughed, “I think you are too.”
“It’s embarrassing that it happened so fast.”
“It’s cute.”
“Don’t leave me the rest of the night?” it sounded more like a plea than the first time he asked.
Arya was now determined to not let herself get distracted. What could be more distracting than Gendry? The man that was standing between her legs with his face cuddled into her neck? The man who had been turning beautiful and smart right under her nose and who she had just started to notice. How could she not have seen him? Was she too late? Or was there simply never going to be a right time?
Later on, it was Gendry who did the leaving. Arya barely allowed it and only did because it was Jon he was leaving her for. She would’ve stuck around them too, if Sansa hadn’t pulled her away.
“How did you get Gendry back at a party?” she asked, peaking at him.
Arya curled her lip, “Get him back? He’s been to one before?” she didn’t like this. She didn’t like Sansa knowing something about Gendry that Arya didn’t. In fact, she hated it.
“Oh please, as if you haven’t heard. The homecoming party? At Ygritte’s?”
Arya’s frowned deepened. “I wasn’t here for homecoming, I was at Bravoos for dance camp,” she had been gone two months and Gendry had face timed and called her everyday for those two months. He had made a point to, since he was incredibly angry about her going in the first place.
“It’s just going to be you and Jaquen, alone, in the middle of the woods? Are you fucking crazy Arya?!”
“Yes, me and Jaquen and my entire dance studio. Also, several other dancer studios and teachers, alone in the woods, with bunk beds and like...Well water. Not the sexiest of places.”
“If Christian camp can get sexy, so can ballet camp.”
“Christian camp can get sexy?”
“Arya! That guys a creep, I don't like the way he keeps...looking at you,”
“Gendry! He’s my dance teacher, it’s his literal job to look at me,”
“Promise me you won’t go.” It wasn’t a question, it was a demand. His pinky was already out and shoved right into her face.
“You’re not serious,” Arya blinked at him, unamused.
“I’ve never been more serious about anything.”
“Not even when you made me promise to always eat lunch with you?”
“You’re not taking this seriously,”
“No, and I’m not promising that either. We already paid the place. You’re being stupid.”
The conversation lasted longer and they both only got angrier so Arya didn’t want to think too hard about right now. She was trying to remain as calm as possible. He would’ve told her about a party, why wouldn’t he?
Sansa put a hand to her head, “That’s right! You weren’t there! Well, it was crazy. Nobody expected him to act out so wildly. I don’t think he expected it either, he was so mad at anyone who brought it up afterwards, and everyone brought it up,” she giggled into her drink.
Arya hated that she had to ask this, “What’d he do?”
“Oh Gods, what didn’t he do,” she said after her drink. “Skinny dipping, table dancing, body shots…he even got caught fucking some girl on the front lawn,” she smiled at Arya, “You would’ve been so proud,” patting Arya’s shoulder, Sansa walked away.
“There you are,” Gendry found Arya on the roof, carrying a more than half empty bottle of vodka. “You weren’t supposed to leave me, especially not to be a loser sitting alone on the roof,” he reached for a drink, but Arya took a swig instead of handing it to him.
She shouldn’t be mad. That’s what she kept telling herself. She shouldn’t be mad. It was a ridiculous promise he was forced to make by a ridiculous child. It didn’t matter that he broke it, it didn’t matter that he had even made that promise to begin with, it was fake from the beginning. He was just agreeing to get her off his back.
But why wouldn’t he tell her about it? Why would he hint at it tonight? That’s what hurt, the secrets. She’d never kept a secret from him. Never. But he kept this from her, and this was big. If all she was was his best friend, fine, she could take it, but best friends knew about each other’s sex lives. They knew about their party lives. To not tell her was…to do it at all was…
She shouldn’t be mad.
“You okay?” he asked, scooting closer.
Her lips pressed together to not yell at him. To not say, “No! You’re not a virgin anymore and you didn’t tell me! Why wouldn’t you tell me?! Why would you keep me wondering about this stupid promise when you’ve broken it almost a year ago now? What else have you lied about? Was that not even your first time?! Does Jon know about all of this?! Rob? Sansa knows! How could Sansa know more about you than I do?! I’m supposed to be your favorite! You promised I would always be your favorite! Or were you lying about that too?!”
It was all at the tip of her tongue, ready to be placed into the world, because that’s what she did. She said what was on her mind, she was honest with him.
Or, at least she had been up until about eight months ago. Now she was just as bad as he was. She was lying every time he touched her, looked at her, every time she had trouble looking back at him. She wasn’t telling him the complete truth anymore, because she had hope that maybe he wasn’t either. But she was hoping he was harboring some different kind of secrets, secrets that matched hers. Not secrets like these, secrets that crushed hers into nothing but secrets. Into nothing but silly girlish fantasies. She never wanted those, she never wanted fantasies and pining, she wanted archery and dance. She wanted to travel the world, she didn’t want to waste precious dreams and ambitions on something so…so…so Sansa. But she did, and she couldn’t look down on Sansa anymore, that would be stupid, because she was stupid just like her now.
“Arya,” he nudged her shoulder, she still hadn’t answered him.
“I never expected you to keep that promise you know,” she wound up spitting at him.
He blinked, “Sorry?”
“I don’t know why you felt like you had to keep it a secret…why you needed to lie about it, but I never expected you to keep that fucking promise, okay? It was stupid, I was ten, you really think I’ve just been sitting around waiting for you to take my virginity?”
Gendry brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing it. “Arya…if this is about that one party—”
“The one you never told me about. I just heard about it from Sansa.”
“Everything about that party was a fucking a mistake, Arya. It was…one of the scariest nights of my life and I never even wanted to think about—”
“That promise was a fucking mistake, this whole thing is a fucking mistake. I’m done just,” she clenched the bottle tightly in her hand, “Clinging onto you. I’m done worrying one day you’ll wake up and realize you don’t need me anymore, because that day came a long time ago and I’ve just been so…” her teeth ground together.
“What are you talking about?!” he bent forward to try and catch her eye but she turned away. She didn’t want to see his eyes, she knew the second she did she would start crying. “Of course I need you, Arry, you’re my best fri—”
“Because I force myself on you!” Arya burst. “I force you to make and keep promises you have no interest in, I force you not to move on from me, and I see now that that’s…that’s stupid! You’re gonna do what you wanna do with who you wanna do it with, and maybe you’ll tell me about it and maybe you won’t and I’m stupid for thinking—”
“I didn’t tell you because I was so fucking ashamed! Not because I-I…I was acting just like my dad, Arya! I had unlocked him and I didn’t want you to look at me that way!”
“If I’m your best friend, you would’ve come to me about that. I would’ve come to you,” now she did look at him, just so he would know how hurt she was, so she could rub it in to his stupid beautiful face. “Did you go to Jon?” she asked.
Gendry opened his mouth, closed it, looked at his lap.
“I’m gonna stay home for the summer,” Arya said after a while. “You can do whatever you want,” she left him the vodka bottle before leaving.
Listen...angst is my favorite. I didn’t start this with that intention but..uhh...
Promise pt.4 (final)
They went bowling, which Arya thought was an interesting choice, considering how competitive she got. Although, Sansa probably knew there wasn’t the same amount of passion within her sister than usual. Arya wasn’t invested enough, she had yet to start caring about the little things again, so it was safe to take them bowling on the first date. Maybe it would light some of that spark back in her.
It started to work. With each spare and each strike Arya’s smile got wider and more smug, especially since Pod was working around a slight tremor he got each time Arya looked him directly in the eyes.
Arya admitted it felt good, having the power back. She started to cheer when she would pull ahead, laugh when Pod got gutter balls, and pouted when Sansa started to catch up.
“Lucky throw,” she mumbled as Sansa flipped her hair obnoxiously.
“I seem to have a lot of those,” Sansa twittered back in a sing song voice. “You guys go ahead, I’m gonna go get some drinks.”
Arya watched her head back to the bar when her eyes collided with a dark blue gaze.
Gendry was sitting with Hot Pie, eating a pizza. Hot pie waved nervously and Gendry only stared. All Arya managed was a quick nod, holding her breath as she quickly turned away to watch Pod take his turn. He managed to get about half the pins down before turning to her with a nervous smile. She clapped for him halfheartedly.
“Aren’t they your friends?” He asked, gesturing to Gendry and Hot Pie. Arya sighed heavily. “Cause we can invite them over, I don’t mind.”
“No,” Arya started, “That’s—”
Pod had already begun gesturing them over, each wave of his hand sinking her lower and lower into her seat. This was the absolute worst thing that could’ve happened in this moment. Nothing would’ve been worse than this, nothing at all. Her slipping and breaking her neck with a bowling ball would’ve been more easily dealt with than Gendry walking over in the middle of her sort of date.
“Hey,” Hot Pie was the first to speak when they all came together.
Arya chewed at her lip angrily. “It’s my turn,” was her greeting, and she stomped her way onto her two feet and went for the bowling balls. Sansa returned after she rolled and quickly took Arya by the elbow.
“What the fuck?” Sansa hissed.
“Don’t fucking look at me, Pod invited them over not me,” she grumbled, looking anywhere but at Gendry. Especially since she could feel him looking at her. Staring, was the right word for it, looking no where else but at her. Which was curious behavior for someone who had never minded her.
“Well, this undermines the whole bloody purpose of Pod, doesn’t it?”
Arya tilted her head to the side, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe he could still manage to make me forget all about the man sitting directly across from me. He did, after all, rock those strippers’ world,”
Sansa hit Arya’s shoulder through a giggle. Arya almost frowned, she hadn’t really meant that as a joke, but she supposed it had landed as one.
“Okay,” she straightened her face out. “You have to try and remain calm. Do not offer Gendry any attention unless he asks you a question directly, okay? No getting angry, no getting defensive—”
“I do not get defensive!” Arya interrupted angrily.
“Perfect example, none of that behavior,”
Arya opened her mouth to protest again but was silenced by Sansa’s look.
“Act like nothings bothering you, you’re simply here on a date and that’s the only thing on your mind, okay?”
“Yeah, fine, okay,” Arya could imagine yelling at Gendry now. Shoving her pointer finger into the middle of his chest, watching his face get red and his eyes darken. The redder her got, usually the more right she was, or at least, that’s why she liked to think he got so red.
They walked back into what felt like a very awkward and very tense atmosphere, and Arya hadn’t even been there to contribute to it yet. Sansa immediately eased the air.
“Should we add you two in, then?” she asked cheerfully.
Arya had to hold her breath as she smiled at both Hot Pie and Gendry individually. Hot Pie looked put at ease right away, Gendry did not. The only response she got out of him was a severely clenched jaw which made it near impossible to not roll her eyes in most obvious way possible. Instead, she managed to simply look away and take a seat beside Poderick. His shoulders slumped slightly and he gave her a relieved smile, obviously all the tension was focused directly on him, poor thing. But, he did bring this on himself, inviting them over and everything. This was all his bloody fault.
“We’ll just end this game here. Arya, you won,” Sansa folded a delicate, long leg under her as she began working on the game information.
Starting the new game, Arya wasn’t doing as well. She was tense in trying to be polite and unbothered when that was the exact opposite of how she felt. She was the most bothered person in the world, everything that was currently happening bothered her.
“Someone’s distracted,” Gendry had the nerve to comment.
It was at the tip of her tongue, the skin of her fingers, she could turn and yell her head off, wrap her hands around his thick neck and squeezed until he took it all back. Squeezed until they were back to the morning of that party where everything was okay. Where he was still a virgin, where they were about to go on a life changing trip together, back when everything was about to change for the better, not the absolute worse. She managed not to though, she managed to only shrug and laugh it off, as robotic as it came across, she did it.
Gendry was fucking winning, which was fine, it didn’t meant anything to her. She could handle it without getting angry… and defensive…
But why did he have to fucking look at her after each of his numerous strikes? Why did he have to be all smug and handsome, as though he knew what was going on in her mind. He didn’t, he didn’t know her, just like she didn’t know him. Not really. She could keep secrets just as well as he could, she could keep it to herself that she couldn’t help but stare at his ass when he let the ball go. His shoulder blades, the flex in his arms…he didn’t know she was thinking any of that. All he knew was that she didn’t like he that he beating her. It felt good to have something to herself for once, a secret he didn’t have access to. It was almost therapeutic. Or, it would’ve been if it was something like fucking Jaqen at that dance camp, something that would destroy him just like this party had destroyed her.
Yes. She had fucked Jaqen at that camp. After dancing eight hours a day with only slight breaks for food and stretches, she snuck into the teacher’s cabin, crawled under those stiff camp blankets, and had him make an honest woman out of her. It would kill Gendry to know that, he wouldn’t be able to look her in the eyes for months, maybe never again, and in that moment it was worth it. To just get him back, to show him how it felt, to show him how it felt.
She bit her lip so she wouldn’t yell that very story in the middle of the bowling alley after his fifth strike. “Glad that strike makes you so happy Gendry, because Jaqen sure was when he knocked all my pins down!” or something like that, she wasn’t always the most clever when she got this angry.
If he had believed she was as calm as she was pretending to be, maybe she would’ve gotten away with it. If he didn’t know her as well as he did, if he didn’t know exactly what he was doing and the exact way to do it, she would’ve gotten through the date and maybe even give Pod a peck on the cheek by the end of the night. That thought alone was driving her to ignore him, because she knew him just as well as he knew her, and that would’ve driven him just as crazy as he was making her. Not as crazy as her claiming to have fucked Jaqen, but a close second. If he would just stop picking at her.
“You want me to bowl for you, Arya? Catch you up a bit?”
“Alright, I’ll take it easy on you. I am a gentleman, after all.”
“If you need a break we can take ten. Get you a drink or something, you tired?”
Eventually, that peck on the cheek at the end up the night seemed almost worthless, not when she could just relieve all her attention right there.
“Can you shut the fuck up?!” she shouted after her third split of the night. “No one thinks you’re fucking funny!”
Gendry was biting at his bottom lip to keep from smiling. She didn’t know what everyone else was doing, she wasn’t paying attention. She was focused entirely on Gendry, yet again. “I think I’m funny,” he said casually, as through this was a normal conversation to have. Which only spurred her on further.
“You don’t fucking count,” was all she could say through the thick anger cloud in her brain.
“Something bothering you, Horesface?” he asked, arms crossed over his chest, leaning back into the bench, eyebrow raised. She was standing, but that only made it easier to shove harshly at his chest.
“Get the fuck out Gendry! Get the fuck away from me! What are you even fucking doing here?!”
“Your date invited me.”
“What’s your fucking goal Gendry? What is it that you want to happen right now? You’re the one who never minded me! You’re the one broke off—”
“Me!? I’m the one who—”
“Yes, that’s what I fucking said!” she interrupted before he could delve further in.
“You’re the won who called off the road trip! You’re the one who was too selfish to—”
“So what the fuck are you doing here Gendry?! Why are you making this so difficult for me—”
“Because I can, I guess. Because I have nothing better to do these days. You, on the other hand, seem to be having a hell of a time. First date, is it? Or have you been going at it for the past month?” he stood up finally, trying to use his height to intimidate her, but nothing intimidated her, especially when she was seeing red.
“You bet. This has been the best month of my life. Really, I’ve been going to so many parties, getting so fucking drunk. I’ve been fucking so many dudes on so many front lawns, you wouldn’t even believe.”
“You’re not funny Arya,”
“I’m not joking Gendry. Any guy that’ll have me, and you were right, once you’re out of the picture they’ve come in herds. Just ask Sansa, they can’t get enough.”
Gendry exhaled sharply through his nose, biting his lip as he looked away from her. “Don’t lie to me Arya,”
“Oh, so you can lie but I can’t?”
“I didn’t lie—”
“The whole fucking thing was a lie! I was never your friend I was a fucking obligation! I was a chore you had to deal with everyday—”
“You’re still on that shit?! That whole list was supposed to show you I had needed you just as much as you needed me, or did that just go in one ear and out the other, just like every other thing I fucking say to you does?!”
As ironic as it was, Arya didn’t fully process his words at that moment. All she did process was he had made a valid point against her and she needed to even the score as best as she could. “Well, when nothing you say apparently means anything, than yeah, I guess I don’t pay close attention.”
“I didn’t tell you—”
“Yeah, I got it, cause you were sensitive and ashamed and you have daddy issues and I should feel bad for you because of that, even though you’ve been keeping this secret for fucking months and if you’ve kept a secret like that from me, what else have you been keeping—”
“What about you Arya? You really tell my everything about everything?! There’s nothing you kept from me because you just didn’t feel like sharing,”
Arya looked to the ceiling, put a finger to her chin, “Hmmm, let me think…there was, oh yeah and then there…oh but there was this other…oh yeah! I fucked Jaqen!” And with one final shove to his chest she left that fucking bowling place with no intention on ever coming back.
It was that night when she went to her room and found Gendry there first. The second she walked in he hopped onto both feet and advanced toward her determinedly. “Tell me you were lying.”
“About what?” Arya asked casually, pulling out the chair tucked into her desk and taking a seat.
“Stop, Arya. I really can’t take anymore of this, just tell me you were lying, please,” he knelt in front of her, forcing their eyes to meet. Arya stayed quiet, wondering if she was still angry enough to milk it, or if she was allowing his eyes to break her down completely. Gendry spoke again before she made her decision. “You couldn’t have, you promised.”
“You mean the promises you took back?” Arya clarified.
Gendry’s jaw clenched and suddenly he was clutching at both her knees desperately. “Arya, please. Even if you weren’t lying just tell me you were or I don’t think…I won’t…” he couldn’t finish the sentence, shutting his eyes as far as the could go and his grip Arya had already thought was as tight as it could get, hardened.
Then her decision was made. She had gone too far, yet again, and she knew she would. She knew what this would do to him and she did because it was the worst possible thing she could say to him. She wanted to watch it destroy him. What she had forgotten was watching it destroy him would also destroy her.
“I was lying,” she said immediately, reaching out and tucking his head right under her chin, combing her fingers through his hair. He accepted this gratefully, his shoulders drooping and arms becoming soft as they encircled her waist. “I’m sorry,” she whispered,
He shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he was talking directly into her sternum and she felt his voice vibrate all throughout the inside of her chest. “I should’ve told you, I know…I just…I…” Arya gave him the time he needed to properly think of what he wanted to say. “I spent the last three years keeping that promise purposely. I wanted to keep it, I wanted it to be you, I knew that. Going into that party, I never even considered that I might…it wasn’t an option. And for me to just…for it all to be over just like that…it wasn’t fair Arya. I didn’t want it to be true, I wanted it to be you. It kills me that it wasn’t,”
Arya didn’t say anything for a while, she only held him and processed all of his words. Everything he’d said to her, starting from the bowling alley and going all the way back to the very first day they had met, and she thought I am so stupid. Obviously, he always needed her. Everything he did was to ensure she’d stay next to him, never leave him, and that’s why he kept this secret. Because he was scared she would get mad and never talk to him again, which is almost exactly what she did.
“Gendry, I love you. I’ll always love you, no matter what you do,”
“Except keep secrets,”
Arya rolled her eyes, “It just…it hurt that you didn’t think you could come to me with these things. I thought that you could talk to me about anything, and when it turned out you couldn’t I just…” she paused, going to his shoulders and again finding he was kneeling between her legs. She hooked her ankles around his torso to bring him closer. “I’m sorry I confirmed all the reasons you had for not telling me.”
“…so you really weren’t just mad because I had sex with someone else?”
Arya laughed and his arms tightened around her. “Well…”
“Well?”
“That may have been…a teeny tiny part of it.”
“Hmmmm,” he said into her chest causing Arya to bite her lip. “I missed you,” he murmured.
Arya hugged him as tight as she could, “I missed you,”
“That was scary.”
Arya only nodded.
“Promise to never fight like that again?”
“Give me your pinky,”
“We could seal it another way…”
“Hm? What did you have in mind?”
Gendry straightened up and with Arya sitting and Gendry kneeling, he was only slightly taller than her now, making her eye to eye to with his mouth. He had the perfect lips, big enough, pink enough, a perfectly indented cupids bow, framed deliciously with the perfect amount of black scruff. Arya was sure he was the most beautiful thing that’s ever been made. And here he was, wrapped around her, between her legs, looking back down at her own lips, dark blue eyes darkening further…
Then his finger lifted her chin and there was no breath in her lungs and no thoughts in her head that weren’t centered on his lips. Especially when he carefully parted them through her own, her top lip nestled snugly between both of his until his head tilted and suddenly his top lip was between both of hers…then her mouth opened and he…
Nothing has ever felt like this. Nothing has caused so much release as it built up so much tension…nothing made her so warm yet cause such a violent shiver all through out her body…nothing has ever felt so overwhelming yet so perfectly natural all at once, as this did. Nothing has ever felt like Gendry. Just as she thought she was sort of used to it, just as she thought she knew what to expect, his hands moved or his lips went down her neck and she was feeling everything all over again. She was almost unaware when he gripped her by the thighs to pick her up and bring her to the bed, but she was fully aware pulling his shirt from his torso and letting him do the same to her. She was perfectly away of their bare chests pressed hotly together as his mouth ran up and down her neck then her shoulder and then…
When it was all over she was tucked securely into the curve of his neck, bare thigh thrown over his bare hips, running her hand up and down his chest as his ran up and down her back. “So, that’s how we’re going to seal promises from now on, then?” she asked.
“That’s exactly how we’re going to seal promises from now on,” Gendry confirmed.
Promise pt.3
It was the second time she had ignored him and his tactics hadn’t changed. He called her, he knocked at her window, he waited outside her door, but she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to look at him, she wasn’t ready to forgive him. At least not until she stopped thinking about touching him, until she stopped being hurt that he broke his promise. Maybe then she would open her door, answer her phone, but not before.
And that might’ve worked. If he’d waited until she was ready before talking to her. Maybe she could’ve told him that, a simple “I can’t right now, but maybe later.” None of that happened, instead Gendry snuck into her room when Arya was out dropping Bran and Rickon off at summer school.
He was waiting on her bed, knee bobbing up and down, and that alone weakened Arya. If only that wasn’t the very thing she was trying to fight against, if only that feeling didn’t spur her anger on further. “Get out Gendry,” she demanded.
“No,” he snapped back. “No, you’re being ridiculous Arya,” he seemed just as angry as she was and she wanted to know what gave him the right.
She was brimming with anger and frustrations she couldn’t fit into words. Looking at him, all she saw was the boy who had facetimed her everyday at dance camp. He was casual, in bed, telling her nothing exciting could happen when she wasn’t there. But he had been lying, he had been partying, something he had sworn he would never do without her, if he did at all. He was always too scared he would turn into his father, and he couldn’t share that experience with her, he hid it from her, and that wasn’t what best friends did. That wasn’t what family did. But that’s what he did, which meant he didn’t think of her as family. “How could you keep this from me?” she asked as lowly as she was able, determined not to scream.
“I didn’t want anyone to know! I didn’t—”
“I’m not supposed to be anyone Gendry! I’m supposed to be your favorite! I’m supposed to be your best friend. Or were all your promises complete bullshit?!”
Gendry’s eyes flared something dark, “You didn’t just ask me that.”
“I guess we’re both surprising each other,” it was in her right.
“I only went to that fucking party because—” he cut himself off, tugging harshly at his hair.
Arya’s brows came together in a curious line, “Yes? Please continue!”
“Because you went off to that camp! I asked you not to go, I asked you to promise not to go and you—”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I go?! How is that anywhere near—”
“You damn well know why Arya. That Jaqen is no good, and being alone with him in the middle of nowhere—”
“What does that have anything to do with you keeping secrets from me?!”
“Are you mad because I kept a secret from you, or are you made because I fucked someone before I fucked you?” he said, knowing exactly what he was doing.
Arya saw red. She picked up her lamp and threw at him, and when he dodged she threw the alarm clock, then a text book, and when there was nothing left on her nightstand she pulled her drawer out and threw that too.
“How dare you!” she shouted. “How fucking dare you!” the corner of her drawer clipped the high point of his cheek which soon started bleeding.
He didn’t seem to notice it, “If you can’t look passed your own damn emotions to see what that night did to me, then maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re not my fucking favorite after all.”
It was in that moment Jon decided to bust in, “What the fuck is going on in here?” he asked, breathless.
Arya was desperately fighting off tears, “Ask him, he’s your best friend,” she left the room to find something to eat.
The next time she returned to her room it was empty. She told herself that was a good thing. It was still a mess, her nightstand droppings littered all over the floor, but that probably wasn’t going to change until her mother couldn’t stand it anymore.
But on her bed was a folded up piece of paper, opening it she saw every promise Gendry had her make.
-promise to never notice Joffrey
-promise to always stay close during family get togethers
-promise to always eat lunch with me at school
-promise to never tell Joffrey where I keep my secret stuff
-promise not to like any of the Lannisters more than me
-promise not to fall in love with Jaquen
-promise to always tell me when your recitals are
-promise to wait for me before traveling the world
-promise to always keep Saturdays for you and me
-promise to let me pick the movies sometimes
-promise to never pity me
-promise to stop losing all my fucking clothes
-promise to not come to my house when you’re drunk. Go home, I’ll come to you.
-promise to take me with you
-promise not to abandon me
At the end of the list, written and red, were the words, NEVER MIND.
Arya was quiet during the week. She ate, she went to ballet, she went to archery, sometimes she tried to box, but her and Gendry usually did that together so it was hard. She was always teetering between hot anger and numbed sadness. She laid in bed, wondering which would win in the end.
She missed him terribly. The longest they went without each other was for that one promise, the promise that started so much trouble from the beginning. She should’ve revoked that promise years ago, the second she understood the implications she should’ve went to him and said, “Never mind.”
Never mind.
Never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mine never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind never mind.
That’s really what was going on in her head. On and on, those two words. Everything he had ever asked of her, their entire relationship, never mind.
Fine, then never mind it was. Never mind all of it, never mind all his pathetic abandonment issue bullshit, it wasn’t her fucking problem anymore. He wasn’t her fucking problem anymore. And she…she wasn’t his. So…never mind.
Arya was making a sandwich when Jon walked in. He stared for a while, leaning against the wall. Arya paid him no mind.
“What are you doing?” he eventually asked.
“Making a sandwich,” she thought it had been obvious.
“With Gendry.” “I’m not doing anything with Gendry.”
“Honestly Arya, how long is this thing going to last?”
“It’s not gonna last. It’s over.”
“Years of friendship—”
“If that’s what you wanna call it.”
“And what do you wanna call it?” “A waste of time,” she said and tried to force herself to mean it.
Jon huffed, “You can’t keep this up, Arya. It’s killing you both.”
“Talked to him, have you?”
“I’ve tried, he doesn’t say much nowadays.”
Arya shrugged.
“Look, I’m not gonna act like I know what happened. But if this has anything to do with you two being in love with each other—”
“Excuse me?!” Arya abandoned her sandwich to stare at her brother in shock.
“Seven hells, Arya, enough is enough. Stop torturing yourselves and talk to each other, and this time say what you really wanna say, how about that?” Jon took her sandwich before leaving and Arya threw a loaf of bread at his back.
They would’ve been long gone by now. Deep in some pub or hotel, enjoying the summer of just them, the summer they had planned three years ago. Now, it was a month in and they’ve only seen each other about three times. Gendry going into Jon’s room, Arya into hers. Gendry picking up Jon and Rob for something Arya wasn’t told about. Well, she was, but she stopped listening when Gendry’s named was mentioned now, it hurt too much and she wasn’t supposed to hurt at the thought of him anymore. He didn’t matter, he was never minded.
She spent time with Hot Pie, but it was odd without Gendry around, so she only did so when everything was a bit too much. She spent lots of time with Sansa, who surprisingly became quite helpful.
“They never turn out how you want them to,” she’d say, not even really talking about Arya’s situation at all, these were just things she said. It was nice, to hear it that way, as a universal truth and not a personal epiphany. “One second, they’re sweet and considerate, the next they’re popping off your dolls heads and use their stuffing to lead you to their dead bodies,” she commented, almost nonchalantly. “I say you’ve got it figured out, not to bother with them. Most of them are gay anyway, at least the pretty ones are.”
This would make Arya laugh. These days it was only Sansa who could manage it out of her. She started to invite Arya to more intimate, underground parties, various school events, all in all things Gendry never had any interest in. Honestly, Arya didn’t have any either, but it was nice for Sansa to show Arya off proudly. It was so different from when they were kids, it told Arya not all change was bad. This was good, being with Sansa was good. Just because she liked to talk about boys and dresses and preferred sewing and art didn’t mean she was stupid. It just meant they could teach each other things, offer different perspectives, and that’s what Arya needed in that month. She needed different.
“You know, lots of boys are starting to ask about you,” Sansa told Arya as they were lounging in Sansa’s room. They were watching the Princess Bride which Arya was surprisingly enjoying a fair amount.
“If it’s Westley tell him to ask whatever he wants,” it was the first time Arya had started to say any of these types of things out loud without feeling silly and outside herself. It was okay to feel these things, it didn’t mean she was any less than who she was.
“I’ll have to fight you for that one. But really, they’re getting curious.”
Arya peaked at her sister, “Who?”
“Poderick, for one. I think he’d be the best for you right now, you’ve heard the rumors, haven’t you?”
Arya nodded, “The one with him and the three strippers?”
“Yes, I think he’s just the one to get your mind off of Gendry.”
Arya stiffened all over. The best part about Sansa is that she made no mentions of him, not even the slightest of hints. She avoided the topic and put no pressure on Arya to either. It was easy to pretend there was nothing about him to talk about. She turned back toward the movie, feeling again that shift between anger and sadness.
She still missed him. Obviously, she still missed him. She missed boxing with him, she missed Saturdays with him, she missed sneaking through his window when it was dark, she missed falling asleep on facetime with him, she missed hiking with him, she missed falling asleep on him, she missed how big his clothes were on her, she missed making him laugh, she missed him making her laugh, she missed him picking her up from ballet, she missed making him blush, she missed…
See, this is why you couldn’t mention him around her. She started making lists, lists like the one he had left her. The one severing all long-term connections they’d ever made.
“Arya,” Sansa paused the movie. Arya’s jaw clenched as everything in her tensed into a hard knot. “Listen, you do whatever you have to do. If you want to stay in here and watch movies with me, great. If you want to go punch the shit out of some stuffed animals, I have many Joffrey spared. If you want to talk about it, I’m all ears. If you want to forget about it, I think Pod would be a great start. But, simply ignoring it until it goes away…Arya, you’re not getting any happier.”
Arya loosened up a bit, managing to meet Sansa’s understanding eye. “We can all do something sometime…I guess…” she was supposed to be with Gendry right now, in the middle of nowhere, in his truck, lots of blankets…
Sansa offered a small, sad smile, “It’ll work out,” she promised, then played what was quickly becoming Arya’s favorite movie.
this arya and this gendry
Gendry’s [sort of] jokingly pissy about his best bud, Arya, going to Dorne with her other good mate, Ned Dayne, because while she’s frolicking at Summer Sea, he’s stuck helping manage his father’s business empire after he dies. His dysfunctional family is annoying as all hells and so is Arya. She keeps sending him swimsuit photos for his opinions?! Like he knows anything about women’s fashion! Not to mention how terribly unfair it was for her to send him a photo of her nude back, asking him if she was burned. Couldn’t she just have asked Dayne?
Wait--
--on second thought, maybe it’s best if Arya’s asking him rather than Ned.