When I speak of diverse characters. Men fall within this category.
When I speak of diverse characters, I also feel men fall within this category. In film, there are endless portrayals of the alpha male and what it means to be a man. Personally, I think being a great man means being a good person and to do this means withstanding scrutiny. Even from women. When I mentioned my difficulty being a woman to a male friend of mine, he said he understood. As he felt the same trying to deal with what he is supposed to be as man. He said “If you can’t grill a good burger, you’re not a real man, if you like clothes and your apartment clean, you’re gay. If you don’t drink, beer or whiskey or any other ‘manly’ drink you’re a wuss. if you’re still a virgin you’re not a man. If you respect women you’re whipped,” He went on like this for a while. The rules are just as suffocating as the ones I am familiar with as a woman.
I recently read an articled by David Greenwald titled Dear Men: Toxic Masculinity Is Imprisoning Us, and It’s Time to Set Ourselves Free
"...at every turn, the masculine path was clearly set in front of me. Strength, anger, endurance, violence, stoicism. This is for boys, this is for girls. Don’t dress like this, don’t watch this, don’t listen to this. Don’t, don’t, don’t.
What could possibly happen, dudes? Could it be that we might experience a wider view of the human experience? Could it be that women are people and sensitivity is a universal quality?”
Watching friends and even family members try to live the ideal ‘what it is to be a man’ lifestyle, I find it painful to watch and honestly I occasionally feel they choose and are forced live bland lives.
The effort to define manhood is a source of artificial strength, a buttress against crumbling walls. Men who aspire to such stereotypes are searching for a safe and simple path, the same way people turn toward religion or any form of dogma.
I entirely agree with Greenwald, men need the same liberation as women, to be freed from the ideals of what a man should be.
I know that men are just as trapped and just as much in need of liberation. That is, if they can face their fears of anything coded as feminine, gay, or merely different.
Aren’t men supposed to be brave?
Men don’t have to be anything. You just have to be you. Fuck defining that.
You can read the full article here. his twitter @davidegreenwald